10 Years of American Motoring – Audi/Morris/Porsche

[Whatty]

Scuba_steve said:

Awesome thread - please update when you're back in the UK and settled.

The job sounds interesting, although you've told us precisely dick about it

The 'banned from doing it in the US' has piqued my interest.

Best of luck in future endeavours

Well here I am, back again online after what was a very hectic September.
October will be no less busy.
Still not truly settled back 'home' - no house for one thing.

Completed the sale on our NJ home last week. So its a final farewell to life in Small Town New Jersey.

Bye bye Cranford, NJ.

A quick tour round in late August, early September with the camera.
Some places I'll miss, some I won't.

Rustic Mill Diner, North Avenue.



The only thing rustic thing was the plastic 'glass' ware.
Clean but never crystal clear.
Big menu. Big helpings



Big customers.
Yeah yeah,not your fault.
Let me guess... overactive thyroid?
Heard it a million times.
Fast food + sendentary lifestyle equals:



Jiffy Lube Oil Change Shop.
Catchy name, st service.
Enticed by a $19.99 oil change for my GTi in 2005 their banana fingered monkey's cost me $500.00.
Cross threaded sump plug required a whole new oil pan. Their attempt at repairing with a Helicoil was even more laughable. Expensive lesson learnt.



"Go Team"
Cranford High School
Home to the Cranford Cougars football, lacrosse, soccer, basketball teams.
Bizarre. Saw more kids hanging out at the place during the long summer vacation than I ever did during term time.



The Strip Mall
Generica the beautiful.
You'll find these throughout the Northeast.
Cheaply built, poorly staffed retail outlets.
Kind of sums up New Jersey.



The McMini Mansion
Not in my back yard.....

1970's ranch style house on the right now not so fashionable. So, much easier to tear down and replace with faux mansion.

Quick wood frame build results in a fast buck for the 'Flipper' a.k.a your local property developer. Planning control - wossat then?

To my English eye the result is too much house on not enough land. The backyard will often be a five yard strip of grass between boundary lines.



Company cars.
The Town Police Department. Home to 65 full time officers. Serving 20k residents.
Not sure what they did all day. Watching road repair works seemed to be the main occupation.



Base salary plus overtime could make our local boobies (deliberate typo) a nice fat $135K a year plus health benefits and 50% final salary pension.

A New York City cop will be lucky to make 50% and will face real danger.
Throw in a 36 hour week based on 3 x 12 hour shifts, retire at 45 and you can see the appeal.

Pretty much a closed shop.
"My dad was a cop" the typical refrain. Irish, the typical last name.

Cops in plain cars.



While Cranford is hardly a hot bed of crime the detective team do important work such as fingerprinting town folk for work related background checks, firearms ID card applications and on occasion investigate MURDER.

Capital letters reflect the rarity. Local teenager one block from our house manages to kill his sleeping girlfriend while high on bath salts.

Oddly enough we never heard a thing.

Radox: by all accounts its the new local crack cocaine.

My tax dollars at rest.
The Town PD's sole motorbike.
Features include Siren,Lights, Comedy Magic Tree air freshener.



Also assigned officer has his name sign written on the panniers.
How's that for personal security?
About as good as letting me roam the PD parking lot.
Obviously they have gun's. Probably a Remington pump action in here.



I'm only armed with an Olympus and my wit.
One kept me focused, the other usually razor sharp was getting dull.



Meet some of the neigbours.
We never really knew any bar our immediate one's.
Everyone in a rush. Hence the patronizing signage.
Don't tell me how to drive, credit me with some common sense.

Oh wait.....
Forgot where I was. Remembered why I left.



How would you like to pay?



Having a permanently crewed fire department means lower house insurance rates.
Town residents can get a free ambulance ride but non-locals will be billed.

Our annual town property tax bill for our 3 bedroom home equated to 10 years council tax on a 5 bedroom detached house in Norfolk, UK.

1 Vietnam.
2 World Wars
3 Memorials
Countless deaths. Conscripted & Volunteer.



9/11 WTC Memorial.
6 Cranford residents perished.
Hence the number of columns.
Simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.



The scale of these memorials reflects in many ways the evolution of the town itself.

To my mind, less is often more.




Time for a new chapter.

Cheers Whatty.


Edited//typo//

Edited by Whatty on Sunday 5th October 12:09

[Whatty]

Roo said:

Great update.

I'll tell my sister in law, who lives in Redgrave and works in Norwich, to keep an eye open.

She hacks around in a grey 2012 Z4.

Hi Mr.Roo, thanks for visiting m'thread once more.

I'll look out for your sister-in-law.

Know Wortham & Redgrave quite well.

Currently I'm living in 'Limbo'* and sort of 'working' in the Cloud.

I'm driving Franco-Germanic with/avec/mit 10 cylinders.

• Non-Norfolk people take note: 'Limbo' is not on any map of Norfolk.

Norfolk people may recognize it as a market town near Norwich.
It's not Harleston, although that place has been in limbo for donkeys.

Right I'm now off to say 'Bye bye to some nice American's'.

Unlike PH it's all about the Pork with these guys.

[Whatty]

Ferosferio said:

What a great thread. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for reading.

Being a 6 cylinder Corrado owner you might like the VAG content in the next chapter.

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

[Whatty]

B'stard Child said:

Enjoyed that, much better in long version with pictures than short version over a beer, food and coffee.

Thanks for sharing

Glad you enjoyed the tale, as much as I did the treacle sponge and custard.



Cheers, Whatty