Route Napoleon, the highs and lows
Discussion
WetWipe, Nervous and myself drove the Route Napoleon last week, here's my report:
Day 1 - Home to Grenoble
I set off at 3:45 aiming to be at Dover for 6-6:30. Quite foggy, and surprisingly large amount of traffic, but I was making ok time as I prepared to join to M20. Then a phone call from Darren, the bottom of the M20 was closed and I'd have to cut up to M2. Ok, still doing alright for time, then the radio announces that two junctions of the M2 are closed, but nothing about the M20. I continue on and the others head down towards the M20, we all arrive in gloomy Dover together.
First onto the Ferry, although I don't think the crew were too impressed with Nerv's power slide on the deck.
About 20 miles out of Calais, and so much for out 'take it easy' pact as a Blue GT3 screams off into the horizon. Darren and I soon catch up, and Nerv is on the radio warning about a tatty white 106. He's convinced it's radioing ahead, and sure enough we soon encounter a marked car. We pass it slowly, and continue at a muted pace until boredom once again sets in.
Time for some in-gear acceleration tests. They're all pretty close, until that GT3 hits the higher end of it's rev-range, it's gone.
Our second fuel-stop, and interestingly Darren and I put the same amount of fuel in. We use the opportunity to take a break, then comes the first problem of the trip, I can't lock my car, which means my first party immobiliser will cut in and I won't be able to start it. Turned out the button has worn out, I do have a replacement, but at home...
I wander round deflated, can't believe I won't be going any further. The three Porsches are attracting a fair bit of attention, right now I wish they weren't. Then, my door locks click, Nerv has packed the button out, and I'm ready to roll again.
Back onto the autoroute, and naturally the roadworks. Darren and I are on the radios chatting about fuel economy, Nerv listens with expletives and envy. My range is showing over 400 miles on this tank, and I'm currently getting over 34mpg. Nerv comes on the radio, "For
sake, I can't go any slower, I'm in ing first gear".
Then, just after our next fuel stop, Darren takes a hit for the team. Straight after a corner, the gendarme are flagging Darren over. Nerv and I pull over, working out how we're going to get home if Darren's been banned. We then decide it'd be prudent to get out of sight and call Darren, but he's soon on the phone, then the radio. They told him he was doing 160, we weren't, they gave him a €90 fine and sent him on his way.
Holding a very steady pace, we slowly make our way South. With the numbers for Grenoble on the signs depressingly high, we enter some roadworks. A lorry pulls in front of me, and cuts Nerv of from us and radio contact. The lorry pulls out the way and three marked cars cut it front of me, two head straight for Nerv. I call him, but by the time the call connects they're all over him. The Impreza Turbo in front of me turns it's lights on, and indicates for Darren and I to follow him. They take us off the road, stop us, and ask to see our documents, the conversation goes something like this:
Gendarme: "Do you know why I stopped you?"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Because you have a radar detector"
Me: "I don't"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "Mind if I look"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "You're sure you don't have a radar detector"
Me: "Yes"
He looks under the dashboard
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
Gendarme: "Good, drive safely"
I turn to Darren parked behind me, who has obviously been asked if I have a radar detector. I'm sure I hear something like this, "who Jamie, yeah he loves gadgets, sounds like the sort of thing he'd have".
We head off and meet up with Nerv, relaying the story to him over the radio. The next fuel stop is the lowest point of the trip. The others are moaning about the coffee, that we've just been flashed by a camera, and I'm worried as my immobiliser is playing up again. Seems we get stopped when we're just over the speed limit, or just under. Nerv says he'd pay £500 to go home now, and would be happy to leave his car here. We discuss coming off the autoroute, but I convince them we'd just be lost and more tired, stopping for traffic light after traffic light. We still haven't had a Hotel room confirmed, at least I'm not in a GT3 Club Sport.
We're now near Dijon, and a Doughnut, and a Hotel confirmation seems to give Nerv the energy to try a bit more of the autoroute. So the plan is to pick up a local car, and use that for pace. It works, and we make amazing time. It doesn't seem much longer until we're lost in a very congested Grenoble.
Eventually we're in the Hotel's underground car park, just wide enough to take a 996. It's 9pm and we're tired and hungry, the famous French service doesn't help calm matters, but a good night's sleep does.
Day 2 - Grenoble to Monaco
Nerv seems distraught to see his car is still in the Hotel car park. We're going to have to do this after all.
Some how It's been decided I'm leading the assault, and we only get a little lost, before turning onto a road signposted 'Route Napoloeon'. A short straight and we stop at some lights, seems there's some road works, we've come all this way for this? Through the road works and we pick up the pace and the pass the odd bit of traffic. I'm trying to concentrate on a phone call and wave the others through.
Call over, I soon catch up. Nerv is on an overtaking frenzy and Darren waves me past. We're soon stuck behind a van using both lanes, he didn't seem very impressed by being passed by a British Porsche. Nerv calls and gives me the hurry up, it's great fun he says, I'm out on my own here. With van dispatched we soon catch up, and start to really press on.
Following the GT3 is like being behind a fast road bike. He's braking much earlier and harder than I would, but then I can't get anywhere near him as he exits the corner, and I've got a mirror full of Darren's 996. Nerv asks if I want to go faster, I tell him that yes we could pick the pace up, he says he's on the limit in these conditions with his tyres. Darren and I pass him and take it in turns in the lead.
This part is full of fast sweeping corners and long long straights. The odd bit of traffic is quickly picked off, and I'm really building confidence in my car. Darren's PSE sounds great, and the views are stunning, does life get any better than this? Visibility is great, and traffic is light enough for us to use both lanes, we clip apex after apex. What seems like 10 minutes later, we're all heading down a series of hairpins into a town called Gap.
I can't find it on the map, surely it can't be another page down, it is. Erm, that was some serious pace, we park up, time for lunch. Darren is shaking his head in disbelief, and Nerv is jumping up and down. The prospect of food is the only thing that parts the boys from their cars. We all have trouble describing just how good that was, but a few Neanderthal noises seem to do the trick.
Lunch was followed by a crawl through a congested Gap, Nerv goes in the lead, but we're struggling to make any progress. The Route Napoleon now runs parallel to an autoroute, it's awful. Darren receives a plea from me, please tell me it gets interesting soon. What seems like a day later we reach Digne, the traffic lightens, and we're off again, Darren now setting the pace. My earlier question answered, yes life does get better, these roads are perfect.
I've changed my driving style now, and ignored everything I've ever read about 911's. Braking hard right into the apex, using the extra weight over the front wheels, and the drains to pull the car into corner. Then the 911's famous traction is making me concentrate on the next corner which suddenly requires my attention. The only thing unsettling the car is the odd set of rail tracks, ingeniously placed on the apex, my car skips into the outer lane. Darren's running standard suspension seems to soak it up with ease.
It's starting to drizzle now, Nerv is lost in our rooster tails and soon disappears. Darren and I, however, hardly slow at all, I've never had a better time in a car. This section has everything from 1st gear hairpins to 4th gear sweeping corners. I'm starting to feel invincible, sliding the car around with ease in the damp. I don't consider the consequences of getting it wrong, which on these cliff faces would certainly be fatal. I enter a section cut into the canyon to see Darren parked up taking some video. No way am I stopping, I scream past Darren, punching the air with joy.
We're climbing now, and the windscreen wipers are on permanently, I spend about a minute thinking maybe I should slow a little. Nope, Darren and I are running together now, as close as visibility will allow. We then arrive in Castellane and stop for a break and some photos. I really really don't want to get out my car, and I don't, Darren wanders round taking photos, and I see a GT3 pull up in my mirror.
Nerv doesn't seem to happy, and he disagrees with my assessment of the roads. Seems he's struggling to get out of first, and fighting to keep pointing in a straight line. Strangely neither Darren or I offer to swap cars, and we press on again.
Stupidly I'd left the handbrake on when we stopped, and I've got a dead feeling pedal for about 10 miles, mustn't do that again.
The lead car swaps between a Silver and a Grey one, each feeling the other is holding us up, it's much easier to follow. I've only encountered the ABS once, and having forgotten to turn my traction control off again since the last stop, I haven't seen the light for it despite the full-on wet weather driving. Just goes to show how well balanced these cars are.
Another stop for me to confirm tonight's Hotel and Nerv pulls up. He asks what we did to a White Megane, as it's been cutting across him trying to stop him passing. Not sure why, we jump in our cars and set-off before it catches up. Slow pace now so we don't split up, it's getting dark, and starts to get busy as we approach Grasse.
Down the mountain and on the autoroutes again we start to head towards Monaco, amongst the numerous trucks and locals, this is a seriously busy road. This road seems to have every camber change going, we're climbing at an angle whilst turning. Nerv calls and asks to slow right down, he's struggling to keep his car in it's lane.
We're soon not far from Monaco and into the numerous tunnels. A Blue GT3 zooms past spitting on the rev-limiter, this is more like it. Despite the knowledge these are well-policed it seems rude not to red-line the cars through the numerous tunnels. We exit, and head downhill to Monaco, surely we've got time for a quick lap of the GP circuit. Lap over we head into a nearby underground car park, accompanied by my obligatory spoiler scrape, and are treated to the most beautiful view in the world.
Later that evening Nerv says that this is the GT3's swansong, he hasn't enjoyed the latter part of today. The window shopping opposite the Hotel doesn't help
Day 3 - Monaco to Lyon
Once again I'm somehow the navigator, I lead us out of Monaco, past a Black Enzo, and a Silver 997 GT3. Once again Nerv and I are having some aural fun in the Tunnels, then he phoned me and said be prepared to be stopped. A marked Clio takes position behind me, I don't think it was that fast, certainly was loud though. Much to our relief they soon turn off, and we make our way to Grasse.
We stop for some photos the other side of Grasse, Darren still feeling the worse for wear from last night. We're on the home stretch now, I feel familiar with the car and roads and leave a dry-tyred GT3 and a hung-over piloted Carrera behind. I'm dispatching the other traffic easily, yet still having time to stop on the roads and take some photos. Having stopped to take some video, I here the others heading my way and video them driving past. Few more photos, I jump back in the car, and try to catch up.
Darren's cruising now, and waves me past. Right, lets see if I can catch a GT3. Ten minutes later I see a Blue blur through the trees, got you now I think to myself as I turn the corner. Strangely I'm heading the in the wrong direction, and gradient, he was the other side of the valley! Eventually I do catch up with him, we pull away from the still hung-over Darren. It's climbing hairpin after hairpin now, the GT3 easily dispatching Dutch Campervans. Fortunately visibility is good enough for me to drive around the outside on the wrong side and keep in touch.
The next stretch has everything. I could be in first power sliding out of a hairpin, and then two corners later be taking a corner flat in fourth. Nerv reckons we touched 250 in a couple of places, I don't doubt him. He does a good job of pointing out the bumpy parts to avoid, and we're both lifting off the new tarmac sections that seem to emit oil.
Then comes an image I'll take with me to my grave, I can see the sequence as if filmed from the air now, us screaming full pelt through the canyon. Nerv compares it to a replay on the playstation. I'm smiling just writing this bit.
Not long later and we we saw the signs for Digne, it was over. We pulled over, got out the cars, and simultaneously congratulated each other. Nerv asked if that was as good as the day before. It was, but not with quite the vivid imagery, it didn't seem as dangerous either.
Fueled up we decided to skip the next part of Route Napoleon and autoroute it to Gap. Another autoroute, another Peage! I must have spent a year's road fund licence by now, I don't want to buy the road, and I've only used it the once. Plus, frankly, some of them leave a little to be desired bump wise. As usual the Gendarme were waiting at the end and lecturing people for speeding on these empty roads. Unfortunately for them, we'd been good boys, and they'd have to apply their Brit-only tax another day.
Another high-light for me, as we entered Gap I spotted a cobbled road. Wiping the tears of laughter away I wonder if Nerv was enjoying this as much as me, and how much of his spine was left. Lunch in Gap again, and surprisingly Darren didn't have the steak, I'm sure there was some left in France he hadn't eaten.
Last leg now, with the GT3 as the lead car. It was much busier than yesterday, and I struggled to match the GT3's overtaking pace. Nerv called me, and told me pick up the pace, couldn't he hear my squealing tyres? Much faster roads now, he was getting a chance to really stretch his legs, and it wasn't long before he was out of sight. I soon came upon a Peugeot people carrier I'd seen him overtake, who'd decided one Porsche going past was enough, and I wasn't going to. Luckily a downhill section of three lanes gave me a chance to be past before he could cut out again, but then it was all over, and we off the Route Napoleon.
We then started the slow run to Lyon, going slowly enough for Darren to catch up. The look on people's faces was priceless, here were the same two cars, who'd gone past them in such a hurry a few minutes ago cruising along. Back together now, and another Peage, we stopped for a quick break. Setting off again, I had a terrible vibration, and I asked the others to check my tyres. They couldn't see anything and we stopped.
I'd put the handbrake on again, and this was the most likely culprit. Nerv offered to have a look and we swapped cars, I'm always shocked by just how different a GT3 is. First time I touched the brakes I nearly went through the screen, it was loud and not the ideal autoroute car. We swapped back and I led us into Lyon, where we got hopelessly lost in their one-way system looking for our Hotel. Turns out the road it was on was blocked off, so we spent 90mins driving round the dark wet roads, whilst locals continuously cut us up. Some time later we all had parking spaces, and the GT3 was somehow still running. It certainly didn't enjoy driving round Lyon anymore than I did.
Day 4 - Lyon to Home
We generally took it easy, and as expected saw more and more of the Police the nearer we got to Calais.
We were booked on an 11pm ferry, Darren suggested to me we could make the 6pm one, I wasn't that confident. That confidence built as we got nearer and nearer to Calais, then the inevitable happened.
As we passed a UK registered XK8, we changed the front runner and slowed to do so. Darren, now in front, saw the speed trap and slowed, we all cruised past at the speed limit, and stayed at until the Peage, where we all stopped, Jaguar driver included.
They'd assumed we were all together. I was told "the speed limit in France is 130, you were doing", pulls piece of paper out of his pocket, "150, do you have 45 Euros". For €45 it wasn't worth pushing the argument. We certainly weren't speeding at that time, and they looked a little surprised when they found out the Jaguar wasn't with us. We were continuously passed by local cars, I'm sure this is nothing more than a tax on us.
Luckily we made a 6:30 ferry, my immobiliser was really playing up now, and I didn't dare turn the engine off. Having gone through customs, and the officer mistakenly looking at my engine, some French guards started shouting at me and pointing to their ears. What now!!! I had no money or patience left, but they merely wanted to hear the engine rev.
Back to Blighty, the lack of lane discipline, and a horrific thunderstorm. Few hours later and I was home, the car had performed faultlessly. I don't think I'll ever be that happy in a car again, am gutted now it's got to go.
Day 1 - Home to Grenoble
I set off at 3:45 aiming to be at Dover for 6-6:30. Quite foggy, and surprisingly large amount of traffic, but I was making ok time as I prepared to join to M20. Then a phone call from Darren, the bottom of the M20 was closed and I'd have to cut up to M2. Ok, still doing alright for time, then the radio announces that two junctions of the M2 are closed, but nothing about the M20. I continue on and the others head down towards the M20, we all arrive in gloomy Dover together.
First onto the Ferry, although I don't think the crew were too impressed with Nerv's power slide on the deck.
About 20 miles out of Calais, and so much for out 'take it easy' pact as a Blue GT3 screams off into the horizon. Darren and I soon catch up, and Nerv is on the radio warning about a tatty white 106. He's convinced it's radioing ahead, and sure enough we soon encounter a marked car. We pass it slowly, and continue at a muted pace until boredom once again sets in.
Time for some in-gear acceleration tests. They're all pretty close, until that GT3 hits the higher end of it's rev-range, it's gone.
Our second fuel-stop, and interestingly Darren and I put the same amount of fuel in. We use the opportunity to take a break, then comes the first problem of the trip, I can't lock my car, which means my first party immobiliser will cut in and I won't be able to start it. Turned out the button has worn out, I do have a replacement, but at home...
I wander round deflated, can't believe I won't be going any further. The three Porsches are attracting a fair bit of attention, right now I wish they weren't. Then, my door locks click, Nerv has packed the button out, and I'm ready to roll again.
Back onto the autoroute, and naturally the roadworks. Darren and I are on the radios chatting about fuel economy, Nerv listens with expletives and envy. My range is showing over 400 miles on this tank, and I'm currently getting over 34mpg. Nerv comes on the radio, "For
sake, I can't go any slower, I'm in ing first gear". Then, just after our next fuel stop, Darren takes a hit for the team. Straight after a corner, the gendarme are flagging Darren over. Nerv and I pull over, working out how we're going to get home if Darren's been banned. We then decide it'd be prudent to get out of sight and call Darren, but he's soon on the phone, then the radio. They told him he was doing 160, we weren't, they gave him a €90 fine and sent him on his way.
Holding a very steady pace, we slowly make our way South. With the numbers for Grenoble on the signs depressingly high, we enter some roadworks. A lorry pulls in front of me, and cuts Nerv of from us and radio contact. The lorry pulls out the way and three marked cars cut it front of me, two head straight for Nerv. I call him, but by the time the call connects they're all over him. The Impreza Turbo in front of me turns it's lights on, and indicates for Darren and I to follow him. They take us off the road, stop us, and ask to see our documents, the conversation goes something like this:
Gendarme: "Do you know why I stopped you?"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Because you have a radar detector"
Me: "I don't"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "Mind if I look"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "You're sure you don't have a radar detector"
Me: "Yes"
He looks under the dashboard
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
Gendarme: "Good, drive safely"
I turn to Darren parked behind me, who has obviously been asked if I have a radar detector. I'm sure I hear something like this, "who Jamie, yeah he loves gadgets, sounds like the sort of thing he'd have".
We head off and meet up with Nerv, relaying the story to him over the radio. The next fuel stop is the lowest point of the trip. The others are moaning about the coffee, that we've just been flashed by a camera, and I'm worried as my immobiliser is playing up again. Seems we get stopped when we're just over the speed limit, or just under. Nerv says he'd pay £500 to go home now, and would be happy to leave his car here. We discuss coming off the autoroute, but I convince them we'd just be lost and more tired, stopping for traffic light after traffic light. We still haven't had a Hotel room confirmed, at least I'm not in a GT3 Club Sport.
We're now near Dijon, and a Doughnut, and a Hotel confirmation seems to give Nerv the energy to try a bit more of the autoroute. So the plan is to pick up a local car, and use that for pace. It works, and we make amazing time. It doesn't seem much longer until we're lost in a very congested Grenoble.
Eventually we're in the Hotel's underground car park, just wide enough to take a 996. It's 9pm and we're tired and hungry, the famous French service doesn't help calm matters, but a good night's sleep does.
Day 2 - Grenoble to Monaco
Nerv seems distraught to see his car is still in the Hotel car park. We're going to have to do this after all.
Some how It's been decided I'm leading the assault, and we only get a little lost, before turning onto a road signposted 'Route Napoloeon'. A short straight and we stop at some lights, seems there's some road works, we've come all this way for this? Through the road works and we pick up the pace and the pass the odd bit of traffic. I'm trying to concentrate on a phone call and wave the others through.
Call over, I soon catch up. Nerv is on an overtaking frenzy and Darren waves me past. We're soon stuck behind a van using both lanes, he didn't seem very impressed by being passed by a British Porsche. Nerv calls and gives me the hurry up, it's great fun he says, I'm out on my own here. With van dispatched we soon catch up, and start to really press on.
Following the GT3 is like being behind a fast road bike. He's braking much earlier and harder than I would, but then I can't get anywhere near him as he exits the corner, and I've got a mirror full of Darren's 996. Nerv asks if I want to go faster, I tell him that yes we could pick the pace up, he says he's on the limit in these conditions with his tyres. Darren and I pass him and take it in turns in the lead.
This part is full of fast sweeping corners and long long straights. The odd bit of traffic is quickly picked off, and I'm really building confidence in my car. Darren's PSE sounds great, and the views are stunning, does life get any better than this? Visibility is great, and traffic is light enough for us to use both lanes, we clip apex after apex. What seems like 10 minutes later, we're all heading down a series of hairpins into a town called Gap.
I can't find it on the map, surely it can't be another page down, it is. Erm, that was some serious pace, we park up, time for lunch. Darren is shaking his head in disbelief, and Nerv is jumping up and down. The prospect of food is the only thing that parts the boys from their cars. We all have trouble describing just how good that was, but a few Neanderthal noises seem to do the trick.
Lunch was followed by a crawl through a congested Gap, Nerv goes in the lead, but we're struggling to make any progress. The Route Napoleon now runs parallel to an autoroute, it's awful. Darren receives a plea from me, please tell me it gets interesting soon. What seems like a day later we reach Digne, the traffic lightens, and we're off again, Darren now setting the pace. My earlier question answered, yes life does get better, these roads are perfect.
I've changed my driving style now, and ignored everything I've ever read about 911's. Braking hard right into the apex, using the extra weight over the front wheels, and the drains to pull the car into corner. Then the 911's famous traction is making me concentrate on the next corner which suddenly requires my attention. The only thing unsettling the car is the odd set of rail tracks, ingeniously placed on the apex, my car skips into the outer lane. Darren's running standard suspension seems to soak it up with ease.
It's starting to drizzle now, Nerv is lost in our rooster tails and soon disappears. Darren and I, however, hardly slow at all, I've never had a better time in a car. This section has everything from 1st gear hairpins to 4th gear sweeping corners. I'm starting to feel invincible, sliding the car around with ease in the damp. I don't consider the consequences of getting it wrong, which on these cliff faces would certainly be fatal. I enter a section cut into the canyon to see Darren parked up taking some video. No way am I stopping, I scream past Darren, punching the air with joy.
We're climbing now, and the windscreen wipers are on permanently, I spend about a minute thinking maybe I should slow a little. Nope, Darren and I are running together now, as close as visibility will allow. We then arrive in Castellane and stop for a break and some photos. I really really don't want to get out my car, and I don't, Darren wanders round taking photos, and I see a GT3 pull up in my mirror.
Nerv doesn't seem to happy, and he disagrees with my assessment of the roads. Seems he's struggling to get out of first, and fighting to keep pointing in a straight line. Strangely neither Darren or I offer to swap cars, and we press on again.
Stupidly I'd left the handbrake on when we stopped, and I've got a dead feeling pedal for about 10 miles, mustn't do that again.
The lead car swaps between a Silver and a Grey one, each feeling the other is holding us up, it's much easier to follow. I've only encountered the ABS once, and having forgotten to turn my traction control off again since the last stop, I haven't seen the light for it despite the full-on wet weather driving. Just goes to show how well balanced these cars are.
Another stop for me to confirm tonight's Hotel and Nerv pulls up. He asks what we did to a White Megane, as it's been cutting across him trying to stop him passing. Not sure why, we jump in our cars and set-off before it catches up. Slow pace now so we don't split up, it's getting dark, and starts to get busy as we approach Grasse.
Down the mountain and on the autoroutes again we start to head towards Monaco, amongst the numerous trucks and locals, this is a seriously busy road. This road seems to have every camber change going, we're climbing at an angle whilst turning. Nerv calls and asks to slow right down, he's struggling to keep his car in it's lane.
We're soon not far from Monaco and into the numerous tunnels. A Blue GT3 zooms past spitting on the rev-limiter, this is more like it. Despite the knowledge these are well-policed it seems rude not to red-line the cars through the numerous tunnels. We exit, and head downhill to Monaco, surely we've got time for a quick lap of the GP circuit. Lap over we head into a nearby underground car park, accompanied by my obligatory spoiler scrape, and are treated to the most beautiful view in the world.
Later that evening Nerv says that this is the GT3's swansong, he hasn't enjoyed the latter part of today. The window shopping opposite the Hotel doesn't help
Day 3 - Monaco to Lyon
Once again I'm somehow the navigator, I lead us out of Monaco, past a Black Enzo, and a Silver 997 GT3. Once again Nerv and I are having some aural fun in the Tunnels, then he phoned me and said be prepared to be stopped. A marked Clio takes position behind me, I don't think it was that fast, certainly was loud though. Much to our relief they soon turn off, and we make our way to Grasse.
We stop for some photos the other side of Grasse, Darren still feeling the worse for wear from last night. We're on the home stretch now, I feel familiar with the car and roads and leave a dry-tyred GT3 and a hung-over piloted Carrera behind. I'm dispatching the other traffic easily, yet still having time to stop on the roads and take some photos. Having stopped to take some video, I here the others heading my way and video them driving past. Few more photos, I jump back in the car, and try to catch up.
Darren's cruising now, and waves me past. Right, lets see if I can catch a GT3. Ten minutes later I see a Blue blur through the trees, got you now I think to myself as I turn the corner. Strangely I'm heading the in the wrong direction, and gradient, he was the other side of the valley! Eventually I do catch up with him, we pull away from the still hung-over Darren. It's climbing hairpin after hairpin now, the GT3 easily dispatching Dutch Campervans. Fortunately visibility is good enough for me to drive around the outside on the wrong side and keep in touch.
The next stretch has everything. I could be in first power sliding out of a hairpin, and then two corners later be taking a corner flat in fourth. Nerv reckons we touched 250 in a couple of places, I don't doubt him. He does a good job of pointing out the bumpy parts to avoid, and we're both lifting off the new tarmac sections that seem to emit oil.
Then comes an image I'll take with me to my grave, I can see the sequence as if filmed from the air now, us screaming full pelt through the canyon. Nerv compares it to a replay on the playstation. I'm smiling just writing this bit.
Not long later and we we saw the signs for Digne, it was over. We pulled over, got out the cars, and simultaneously congratulated each other. Nerv asked if that was as good as the day before. It was, but not with quite the vivid imagery, it didn't seem as dangerous either.
Fueled up we decided to skip the next part of Route Napoleon and autoroute it to Gap. Another autoroute, another Peage! I must have spent a year's road fund licence by now, I don't want to buy the road, and I've only used it the once. Plus, frankly, some of them leave a little to be desired bump wise. As usual the Gendarme were waiting at the end and lecturing people for speeding on these empty roads. Unfortunately for them, we'd been good boys, and they'd have to apply their Brit-only tax another day.
Another high-light for me, as we entered Gap I spotted a cobbled road. Wiping the tears of laughter away I wonder if Nerv was enjoying this as much as me, and how much of his spine was left. Lunch in Gap again, and surprisingly Darren didn't have the steak, I'm sure there was some left in France he hadn't eaten.
Last leg now, with the GT3 as the lead car. It was much busier than yesterday, and I struggled to match the GT3's overtaking pace. Nerv called me, and told me pick up the pace, couldn't he hear my squealing tyres? Much faster roads now, he was getting a chance to really stretch his legs, and it wasn't long before he was out of sight. I soon came upon a Peugeot people carrier I'd seen him overtake, who'd decided one Porsche going past was enough, and I wasn't going to. Luckily a downhill section of three lanes gave me a chance to be past before he could cut out again, but then it was all over, and we off the Route Napoleon.
We then started the slow run to Lyon, going slowly enough for Darren to catch up. The look on people's faces was priceless, here were the same two cars, who'd gone past them in such a hurry a few minutes ago cruising along. Back together now, and another Peage, we stopped for a quick break. Setting off again, I had a terrible vibration, and I asked the others to check my tyres. They couldn't see anything and we stopped.
I'd put the handbrake on again, and this was the most likely culprit. Nerv offered to have a look and we swapped cars, I'm always shocked by just how different a GT3 is. First time I touched the brakes I nearly went through the screen, it was loud and not the ideal autoroute car. We swapped back and I led us into Lyon, where we got hopelessly lost in their one-way system looking for our Hotel. Turns out the road it was on was blocked off, so we spent 90mins driving round the dark wet roads, whilst locals continuously cut us up. Some time later we all had parking spaces, and the GT3 was somehow still running. It certainly didn't enjoy driving round Lyon anymore than I did.
Day 4 - Lyon to Home
We generally took it easy, and as expected saw more and more of the Police the nearer we got to Calais.
We were booked on an 11pm ferry, Darren suggested to me we could make the 6pm one, I wasn't that confident. That confidence built as we got nearer and nearer to Calais, then the inevitable happened.
As we passed a UK registered XK8, we changed the front runner and slowed to do so. Darren, now in front, saw the speed trap and slowed, we all cruised past at the speed limit, and stayed at until the Peage, where we all stopped, Jaguar driver included.
They'd assumed we were all together. I was told "the speed limit in France is 130, you were doing", pulls piece of paper out of his pocket, "150, do you have 45 Euros". For €45 it wasn't worth pushing the argument. We certainly weren't speeding at that time, and they looked a little surprised when they found out the Jaguar wasn't with us. We were continuously passed by local cars, I'm sure this is nothing more than a tax on us.
Luckily we made a 6:30 ferry, my immobiliser was really playing up now, and I didn't dare turn the engine off. Having gone through customs, and the officer mistakenly looking at my engine, some French guards started shouting at me and pointing to their ears. What now!!! I had no money or patience left, but they merely wanted to hear the engine rev.
Back to Blighty, the lack of lane discipline, and a horrific thunderstorm. Few hours later and I was home, the car had performed faultlessly. I don't think I'll ever be that happy in a car again, am gutted now it's got to go.
Edited by magic torch on Monday 23 October 16:12
Edited by magic torch on Monday 23 October 16:13
Torch was being very kind to me. I was sick, very very sick in Monaco with the Hangover of the century the following day that still hasnt quite disappeared.......must have been something I ate!
Anyway, some photos so far
Anyway, some photos so far
Edited by wetwipe on Monday 23 October 16:37
Edited by wetwipe on Monday 23 October 16:38
"Gendarme: "Do you know why I stopped you?"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Because you have a radar detector"
Me: "I don't"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "Mind if I look"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "You're sure you don't have a radar detector"
Me: "Yes"
He looks under the dashboard
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
Gendarme: "Good, drive safely"
Cheeky french c
s. 
Vesuvius 996 said:
"Gendarme: "Do you know why I stopped you?"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Because you have a radar detector"
Me: "I don't"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "Mind if I look"
Me: "No"
Gendarme: "Are you sure"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "You're sure you don't have a radar detector"
Me: "Yes"
He looks under the dashboard
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
Gendarme: "Good, drive safely"
Cheeky french c
s. And you know what? They said it all with a straight face. Even when we got stopped in Calais for being british, they just took the cash and bid us a safe journey.....
magic torch said:
He looks under the dashboard
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
sounds like the same flic that stopped Nerv, Gaz and I near Reims in June
Nerv - what?? no new tyres this time??
scotty_917 said:
Great post MT...route Napoleon is petrolhead heaven! 
When coming back 'next' time try the Gorges Du Verdon in Provence...sort of mini Grand Canyon, with surrounding roads that are lightly traffic'd! 
When coming back 'next' time try the Gorges Du Verdon in Provence...sort of mini Grand Canyon, with surrounding roads that are lightly traffic'd! Cheers Scott, how'd you know they'll be a next time?
Just a shame we were so rushed, would have loved to have had an explore. We often holiday there, but I've never thought to rent a car, now I will.
magic torch said:
scotty_917 said:
Great post MT...route Napoleon is petrolhead heaven! When coming back 'next' time try the Gorges Du Verdon in Provence...sort of mini Grand Canyon, with surrounding roads that are lightly traffic'd!
When coming back 'next' time try the Gorges Du Verdon in Provence...sort of mini Grand Canyon, with surrounding roads that are lightly traffic'd! Cheers Scott, how'd you know they'll be a next time?
Just a shame we were so rushed, would have loved to have had an explore. We often holiday there, but I've never thought to rent a car, now I will.
cant wait to see the excess charge you get when the hire company charges you for the child vomit it has to clear from the rear seats cos you have driven over 20mph
sleep envy said:
magic torch said:
He looks under the dashboard
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
Gendarme: "So you're sure you don't have one"
Me: "Yes"
Gendarme: "OK, why were you going so slowly then"
Me: "So we don't get stopped"
sounds like the same flic that stopped Nerv, Gaz and I near Reims in June
Nerv - what?? no new tyres this time??
cant be, they told us to go at least 130kmh, AT LEAST 130kmh
prolly so the next batch of coppers could nab us for speeding.
Excellent writeup - having been there 3 years ago I feel with you folks and would love to go again. I can only second the comment regarding the Gorges du Verdon and would add the Col du Vence and some of the roads between Ventimiglia and Cuneo along the French-Italian border as suggestions for an extended trip.
skidmark997 said:
That looked fantastic! Can you let me have the route? I'm going in May next year but havent researched the best route. Looks like I'll need plenty of Euros for the Gdarms..
From blightly get over to france and take the A26 and head down to Lyon and then Grenoble.
We based ourselves in Grenoble for the first night. It is at the foot of the alps and whilst the scenery is beautiful the city is a tad dead.
The Route Napolean is the N85 running south from the city, through the alps to Cannes.
Buy yourself a decent scale map of france from halfords and plan things before you go. It is the bestest driving route. ever
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