Will a fat bird fit in my Boxster?
Discussion
Dear All,
I realize that this post is five years too late and we cannot now help poor spikeyhead, but this has been bothering me until I recently completed module 7 of my BTEC in Animal Husbandry. I was inspired by module 7, section cw.13 'How to get your prize Sow into her Pen'.
I offer the final solution just in case anyone else has to deal with the horror of a similar situation....
Here goes:
Step 1) Agree to meet with the FB as arranged and allow her to get all excited about coming in the Boxster
Step 2) Equip yourself with the Boxster and two packets of chocolate hob nobs (one for the way out and one for the return journey)
Step 3) Pay a sympathetic mate £20 to follow you in the Mondeo
Step 4) On arrival at the meeting location, park the Mondeo a little way behind the Boxster and connect the two passenger doors by a trail of obvious hob nobs on the ground (caution - only use one packet or you will be knackered at the end of the evening)
Step 5) Meet with the FB and enthuse about how much she will enjoy the boxster as you walk towards it
Step 6) as you gallantly reach forward to open the passenger door, remark upon the couple of hob nobs that you see on the ground. The FB will take one of two options:
a)Fall to her knees and start putting the hob nobs in her handbag/nosebag (if she is classy)
b)Fall to her knees and start eating (if she is a bit common)
Step 6) Watch for a moment and when you are satisfied that she is following the trail, get into your Boxster and drive to the destination. The FB will get all the way to the Mondeo before she notices that you are gone. Your mate will then 'kindly' bring her to meet you at the destination.
Step 7) Enjoy a friendly and relaxed evening somewhere nobody knows you and make no mention of the Boxster or the hob nobs
Step 8) Repeat steps 4 to 6 on departure. This time there is no need to meet up with your mate, he has four choices:
a) drop the FB back where he found it
b) fight the FB for the hob nobs
c) fight the FB for his life (if he fancies his chances)
d) run away
Final note. This approach should see you home with your honor and your Boxster intact, the FB will be none the wiser (Module 7 cw.14 goes on to explain that the 'subject will have no memory of the incident and will fall for the same tactic time and time again'). Your mate will be £20 up on the deal and according to his taste may have gorged himself on hob nobs and FB into the bargain.
Gentlemen, I think you will agree this is a win:win all round.
I realize that this post is five years too late and we cannot now help poor spikeyhead, but this has been bothering me until I recently completed module 7 of my BTEC in Animal Husbandry. I was inspired by module 7, section cw.13 'How to get your prize Sow into her Pen'.
I offer the final solution just in case anyone else has to deal with the horror of a similar situation....
Here goes:
Step 1) Agree to meet with the FB as arranged and allow her to get all excited about coming in the Boxster
Step 2) Equip yourself with the Boxster and two packets of chocolate hob nobs (one for the way out and one for the return journey)
Step 3) Pay a sympathetic mate £20 to follow you in the Mondeo
Step 4) On arrival at the meeting location, park the Mondeo a little way behind the Boxster and connect the two passenger doors by a trail of obvious hob nobs on the ground (caution - only use one packet or you will be knackered at the end of the evening)
Step 5) Meet with the FB and enthuse about how much she will enjoy the boxster as you walk towards it
Step 6) as you gallantly reach forward to open the passenger door, remark upon the couple of hob nobs that you see on the ground. The FB will take one of two options:
a)Fall to her knees and start putting the hob nobs in her handbag/nosebag (if she is classy)
b)Fall to her knees and start eating (if she is a bit common)
Step 6) Watch for a moment and when you are satisfied that she is following the trail, get into your Boxster and drive to the destination. The FB will get all the way to the Mondeo before she notices that you are gone. Your mate will then 'kindly' bring her to meet you at the destination.
Step 7) Enjoy a friendly and relaxed evening somewhere nobody knows you and make no mention of the Boxster or the hob nobs
Step 8) Repeat steps 4 to 6 on departure. This time there is no need to meet up with your mate, he has four choices:
a) drop the FB back where he found it
b) fight the FB for the hob nobs
c) fight the FB for his life (if he fancies his chances)
d) run away
Final note. This approach should see you home with your honor and your Boxster intact, the FB will be none the wiser (Module 7 cw.14 goes on to explain that the 'subject will have no memory of the incident and will fall for the same tactic time and time again'). Your mate will be £20 up on the deal and according to his taste may have gorged himself on hob nobs and FB into the bargain.
Gentlemen, I think you will agree this is a win:win all round.
98C4S said:
Reminds me of an old max power sticker:
No Dogs, or Fat Chicks
Mark Sumpter used to race his 964 with a sticker saying this on the side of it. I must admit that I also had one for a few months on my old Clio until a mate told me I'd have to dump the girl I was seeing at the time or ditch the sticker as he took it off the bNo Dogs, or Fat Chicks
do 
graeme4130 said:
Did we ever get to the bottom of whether she got in or not ?
Or 5 years on, is she now slim and hot ?
Or did the op realise that being a boxter driver, he actually preferred dudes ?
I took the Mondeo, mostly because we would be parking outside a dodgy nightclub. She also batted for the other side, best wingman I ever had on a night out.Or 5 years on, is she now slim and hot ?
Or did the op realise that being a boxter driver, he actually preferred dudes ?
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