RE: Limerick Competition

RE: Limerick Competition

Author
Discussion

JMGS4

8,739 posts

271 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
There once was a young wimp called Blair
who wanted to be called HERR
when the world found out
what that chap's about
He cried to his mummy "it's not fair!"

JMGS4

8,739 posts

271 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
There was a fat bastard called Prescott
who raw egg on his face... got
While punching the jester
and police didn't arrest 'er
Thats governmental priviledge...NOT



Oh dear how bad can I get.....
byeeeee

JMGS4

8,739 posts

271 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
There is an ugly chancellor called Schröder
who gives of an offensive odour
with 4 rings on his car
matches wives so far
it's no wonder we're fed up.....oder?

There was a far slug called Kohl
who stole and he stole and he stole
when questioned about it
he said, I doubt it
and gave himself a medal

mark c

63 posts

285 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
There once was a car called Chimaera
Produced by a well known car maker
But supply was cut short
When Rover said: "Engines - nought!"
So now it's the end of an era

plotloss

67,280 posts

271 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
There once was a man from Blackpool,
Who thought that all sports cars were cool,
So he got some glass fibre,
Stuck a big lump insider her,
And sent Dr Porsche back to school!

Matt.

Neil Menzies

5,167 posts

285 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
A V8 is cylinder heaven,
with the right foot you get it a-revvin'
In most cars a blast
scores a ten for going fast,
with a V8 it goes to eleven!

johnwilk

97 posts

285 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
A hair raising rhyme

A man goin’ buskin
Took a ride in a Tuscan
Painted a bright glowing red
But the journey was short
As he rapidly sought
To replace the hair on his head

The manic machine,
Often unseen,
had rushed up to a ton so fast
that his once flowing locks
were now in a box
a long way back on the grass

The whitefaced composer
was now a bit closer
to making friends with the giver
with his back in the seat
and no weight on his feet
he knew what life’s like in a tivver

From that day thereon
his ultimate song
was the roar of a speed six
he changed his guitar
and looked for a car
that gave him the ultimate kicks

So now on the street
No one can compete
With his choice of flying machine
And having no hair
Makes the headlights all glare
At the back of his head in the screen

So the sting in tail
If it’s the throttle you nail
may not be something you dig
for the flow of the air
across thinning hair
may result in buying a wig!

But, oh what the hell
let’s give it a spell
of tyre smoking fun on the track
If your hair takes a turn
then just watch it burn
as you catch it on the way back.
Anon.

domster

8,431 posts

271 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
The story concerns a Tivver called Ted,
Who was quite clearly a real piston head,
He set up a website for all,
But without a numpty firewall...
So Chassis pestered us about building a Ferrari in his shed.



MattC

266 posts

276 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
quote:

A hair raising rhyme

...



Psssst You do know that's not a limerick, don't you?

Still, very good. Just not strictly eligible, that's all - sorry to be critical.

Stig

Original Poster:

11,818 posts

285 months

Friday 22nd February 2002
quotequote all
One to go home with:

In 'Gassing' we all like to chat,
'bout cars, 'bout this, 'bout that,
Glued to a PC,
Why? - beats me,
Sod this, I'm off for a blat!

JSG

2,238 posts

284 months

Saturday 23rd February 2002
quotequote all
There was a young fella called Campbell,
noted for gibbering preamble.
He couldnae type or think
when he'd had a wee drink,
so reading his posts was a gamble.



>> Edited by JSG (moderator) on Saturday 23 February 18:01

Alex

9,975 posts

285 months

Saturday 23rd February 2002
quotequote all
There was a young ferret named Pike
Who got fed up of riding his bike
So he looked in his pocket
And pulled out a rocket
And we said "what are you like!"

Alex

9,975 posts

285 months

Saturday 23rd February 2002
quotequote all
There was a gay chap named GREG
We were always pulling his leg
When his totty moved on
He said, "she was 'The One'(tm)"
Until the next one came over to beg

JSG

2,238 posts

284 months

Saturday 23rd February 2002
quotequote all
McNab the canny old Scot,
a RAV and a Porker he's got.
At LeMan, a Jag for Ecosse,
so he could thrash cocky young Moss,
and keep all our keyboards hot.

darren

94 posts

285 months

Sunday 24th February 2002
quotequote all
Prescott is really fat
Keeps sending me tickets from his Gat...
So, I'm keeping on earning
paying for the rubber I'm burning
'Til we're rid of the communist brat

GeoffH

31 posts

271 months

Sunday 24th February 2002
quotequote all
There once was a young man named TreVoR
Who must have been exceedingly clever
In a shed by the sea,
With occasional breaks for tea,He produced the best sports cars ever!

gnomesmith

2,458 posts

277 months

Sunday 24th February 2002
quotequote all
There was a young man from York
whoes Humber was less than a Hawk
so to give it more poke
he shortened the stroke
result was all revs and no torque

PS I wrote this for an Autocar competition in the 60s, didn't win that either.

Preston1990

104 posts

271 months

Sunday 24th February 2002
quotequote all
Preston1990 is a little bit "wet",
TVR Postcards he is trying to get.
Those kind Pistonhead folk,
are assisting this bloke.
So one day he may have the full set.

Preston1990 (Complete TVR Postcard collection one day!)


nonegreen

7,803 posts

271 months

Sunday 24th February 2002
quotequote all
The was a MP called Byers
Famous for employing liars
He ****ed up the roads
Causing trouble in loads
So we cut off his bollocks with pliers

Preston1990

104 posts

271 months

Sunday 24th February 2002
quotequote all
Dead Batteries, Torn Hoods or What Oil?
Its Knowledge that's shared between all.
Pistonhead sages help folk of all ages,
Just shout and they'll answer the call!!