RE: Limerick Competition

[IanA]

The indolent Vicar of Bray-
his Morris Minor allowed to decay.
His wife: more alert
bought some "Waxoyl" to squirt.
Then said to her spouse "Let us spray".

[Preston1990]

Those guys on the Zymol thread
Don't know what to do with their bread
Its very good wax
but I say relax
At those prices I'll respray instead!

[JSG]

Preston, for months has been trying so hard
to collect each and every TVR card
He's had great success though
after searching high and searching low
But now alas, he thinks he's a bard

[JMGS4]

There was a pink Führer called Blair
who got in everybodys hair
his team of liars
led by Byers
increased all of our fares
(and taxes and petrol)

[JMGS4]

Europe loves Tony they say
but its far from the truth anyway
his supercilious manner
will get him the hammer
come Britains voting day

[JMGS4]

The numpties want Euros for us
but don't jump onto that bus
the Eurocrats want
to get what we can't
so stuff the Euro up yer a***

Unelected Eurocrats all
are heading for a big fall
when the people wake up
to the great carve-up
the Eurocrats'll be put to the wall
(hopefully)

Pounds shillings and pence went through Labour
and metrics arrived in its favour
now Euros should start
with a great fart
oh please leave us our pound, to savour

An egalitarian Brussels did come,
and freedom for us gets undone.
well we'd civilisation
before you'd a nation
so f**k-off Brussels you bum

A PC ponce named Blair
banned hunting and driving and more
come the election
he was last in selection
so disappeared into thin air

A 2-Jag slug called Fatso
did for the people(?) spread gatsos
all over the county
to cash in on bounty
Who the hell elected such a Pratt so?

Some scum called red-ken want five pound
for enty to "his" compound
10 milllion, I claims
invested in roads 'n trains
would seem to me more sound

Some scum called red-ken want five pound
for entry to "his" compound
its really for Prescott
and the rest of that lot
so they can get faster around

[PetrolTed]

quote:
The was a MP called Byers
Famous for employing liars
He ****ed up the roads
Causing trouble in loads
So we cut off his bollocks with pliers

Winner!

[castex]

Driving fast is incredible fun,
just a thrill in a Citroen AX.
At the wheel I know I'm number 1,
if at times I have papped in my kecks.

i like to overtake tvr's,
chortle past to their burbling fury.
Pc Plod says I'll be behind bars,
I say "Check out the seats, they're veloury".