Acceleration is the new Class B drug....

Acceleration is the new Class B drug....

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CarZee

Original Poster:

13,382 posts

268 months

Thursday 14th March 2002
quotequote all
So cannabis is to be downgraded to a class 'C' drug. Well there'll be mixed feelings about that - a few will be outraged & many will be apathetic, being completely stoned already.

What has not been announced quite so loudly is that there is a new drug to be designated Class 'B' in its place.

Dr Haraldo Flambé of the esteemed research institute, The Royal Society states:
quote:
Of the same chemical class as amphetamine sulphate (Speed), we have recently conducted conclusive research compelling us to take strong action to curb this new threat.

Acceleratus Hypofloorite, which has the street name 'Blat' is known to give a high to those who partake. Street language such as "Just been out for a Blat - it was quality" can be frequently observed.

Those who indulge in a Blat are frequently noisy and anti-social when under the influence.

When an addict is in the throws of what he'd call a Blatfest, if he's having a good one he can feel like he's in some kind of nirvana, but to everyone else, he's a dangerous menace. Noisy, brutal and dangerous, the blatter frequently invokes dread, indignation, jealousy and gesticulation from those on whom he chooses to inflict the effects of his Blat.

There can be no doubt that those in the supply chain must be targeted. There something called a TreVoR that we've been alerted to, which is a known supplier of Blats - it seems capable of supplying them on demand. As such, being as Blat will be reclassified as a Class 'B' drug, we shall immediately look to clamp down on these TreVoRs.

There are also unscrupulous suppliers who take the addicts money and fail to provide the goods. The trouble is, you never know what a Blat you get on the street has in it - It might say M3 on it, but you can bet it's a '318i'.

We shall be rolling out a newly developed 'Blatso' camera which can pick out concentrations of Acceleratus Hypofloorite from the background noise. The source will be caught on film and the supplier of this Blat will be perse^H^H^H^Hrosecuted.
Hmm.. the future is not bright...

>>> Edited by CarZee on Thursday 14th March 19:42

andytk

1,553 posts

267 months

Friday 15th March 2002
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hahahahahaha


Nice one CarZee

ap_smith

1,992 posts

267 months

Friday 15th March 2002
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Oh God, I must contact Dr Haraldo immediately, as I'm obviously addicted. I can't help it, if I don't get a good blat at least twice a week I start on the cold turkey... cold sweats, irritability, irrational mood swings etc.

I find myself raiding my bank account for the ability to increase my blat trip. Many devious 'dealers' can be seen peddling their evil temptations out on the forecourt, tempting potential junkies with their 'test blats'. 'Go-on sir, just one, try a quick blat with us, it won't take long'. This is the slippery slope! Just say no. I didn't, and look at me now..... a simple junkie getting his fix with other social outcasts at rehabilitation centres. If you need help, you can contact friends at places like Goodwood, Silverstone etc...

Help yourself before its too late.


JMorgan

36,010 posts

285 months

Friday 15th March 2002
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Explains why a set of SO3 nearly worn out in 5 months (ish). Need to remove the lead weight from me right boot.