Diary of a Pom in Queensland!
Discussion
I posted this last year but seeing as we have some newbies & there is an increasing exodus to the sunnier climes of Oz, it's worth another laff!
Diary of a Pom in Queensland
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this
is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used
to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up
to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery.
I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Whiskettes and
cat s*#t. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot
as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman
charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000
house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500
and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator
was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the
black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse.Now
my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next,
so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody
pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the
air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said,
"Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house
payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody
Brisbane. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are fu*king kidding!!!!!!!!!
Diary of a Pom in Queensland
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this
is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used
to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up
to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery.
I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Whiskettes and
cat s*#t. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot
as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman
charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000
house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500
and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator
was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the
black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse.Now
my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next,
so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody
pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the
air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said,
"Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house
payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody
Brisbane. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are fu*king kidding!!!!!!!!!
Australia is the best, i hated it at first when i moved over here in 99, but now, i couldn;t imagine living in England again. I live in Melbourne and the weathers a british mild in winter but the summers ace, hot and sunny, Air Con is a godsend but its the quality of light here, when i got here i couldn't get over how blue the sky is, you really notice it.
All in all, its a great place, the driving standards are atrocious but you get used to it, its a bit like the one eyed king in the kingdom of the blind!
So ditch miserable UK Plc, and move here, you only live once, so where the bl00dy hell are ya?
All in all, its a great place, the driving standards are atrocious but you get used to it, its a bit like the one eyed king in the kingdom of the blind!
So ditch miserable UK Plc, and move here, you only live once, so where the bl00dy hell are ya?
jagsy said:
eeeerrrr "good" hhehheee.
By the way Chris - I will email you tomorrow with an interesting story about our trip.
Uh oh... www.virgin-atlantic.com/en/gb/customerrelations/index.jsp
'kin oath maaaaaaate!
But seriously, its a culture shock for the first year or two then like a favourite pair of undercrackers, you get used to the way stuff works here and you can start to enjoy the relaxed pace of life here. I know i sound like a bloody ad for the colonial raggamuffins but its really a no brainer, if you get the opportunity to do it, then go for it. I used to think that the UK was the centre of the world, but then i realised, that its kinda grim and im so glad i got out in '99. plus we have big old v8's in spades here, its bloody un-australian not to have one, surely thats worth the ticket price alone!
But seriously, its a culture shock for the first year or two then like a favourite pair of undercrackers, you get used to the way stuff works here and you can start to enjoy the relaxed pace of life here. I know i sound like a bloody ad for the colonial raggamuffins but its really a no brainer, if you get the opportunity to do it, then go for it. I used to think that the UK was the centre of the world, but then i realised, that its kinda grim and im so glad i got out in '99. plus we have big old v8's in spades here, its bloody un-australian not to have one, surely thats worth the ticket price alone!
skinnyboy said:
So ditch miserable UK Plc, and move here, you only live once, so where the bl00dy hell are ya?
Here is the revised "where the hell are ya" ad...
http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h21
I'm from Melb too.. love it there; not as clicky as Sydney, weather is never boring, nice mix of cosy Euro culture & spicy Asian culture & the best food scene on the planet. Bit more upbeat than Queensland. Not to mention the fact that it's mecca for sport of all kinds.
Got a point about Aussie drivers though, too distracted & too much attitude.. driving in the UK & Europe is a pleasure in comparision. Not to mention Aussie speed enforcement is barbaric!
>> Edited by HSVGTSCoupe on Tuesday 18th April 16:37
HSVGTSCoupe said:
So ditch miserable UK Plc, and move here, you only live once, so where the bl00dy hell are ya?
Here is the revised "where the hell are ya" ad...
http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h21
I'm from Melb too.. love it there; not as clicky as Sydney, weather is never boring, nice mix of cosy Euro culture & spicy Asian culture & the best food scene on the planet. Bit more upbeat than Queensland. Not to mention the fact that it's mecca for sport of all kinds.
Got a point about Aussie drivers though, too distracted & too much attitude.. driving in the UK & Europe is a pleasure in comparision. Not to mention Aussie speed enforcement is barbaric!
>> Edited by HSVGTSCoupe on Tuesday 18th April 16:37
All I have to say, is "Bloody Mexicans"...... coming north of our border!!
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