7000 miles, 5 weeks, one rider, one bike, one Europe.

7000 miles, 5 weeks, one rider, one bike, one Europe.

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Deranged Granny

Original Poster:

2,313 posts

167 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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I've only recently got back from a trip around Europe, so will be updating this as and when I get the chance! Hope you enjoy.

Day 0

I’ve been riding bikes since May 2013 but even after only a year of riding, living both in the North and the South, I had started to tire of riding the same old routes on the same old rutted roads, weekend after weekend. Not that it wasn’t fun, I just felt like there was so much more to biking than wobbling from café to café on the odd sunny summer weekend like all the others. I also had a niggling feeling that while I had done a small amount of travelling, there was so much of Europe I hadn’t seen.

So, in 2014, I idly started to think about where I would want to go if I ever had the time and means to travel. “It would be nice to see the Colosseum”. “I’d like to do the Stelvio Pass”. “The Pyrenees are meant to be cool”. That was more or less the depth of my thinking and planning right up until May 2016. Then I found myself with a couple of months off before starting my new job. Knowing it was now or never, I committed myself with an outward Dover > Calais ferry ticket for 2nd June, returning on 7th July. Five weeks would be enough to see everything, right?

In terms of focus, the trip was going to be a 50:50 split between riding great roads and exploring great cities, avoiding motorways unless absolutely necessary. So I’d stay in hostels in the cities, and camp out in the countryside. Simples. My choice of steed? My trusty 2007 Suzuki SV650s I’d had since 2014. Only written off once. A great bike in its own right, fun and flickable, but neither fast, comfortable nor particularly suited to touring. Perfect!

This was to be a budget trip. Riding my poor battered bike around Europe spending all available funds on petrol, with the occasional bit left over to fund things like food and shelter. No fancy GPS, Go Pro, costly luggage or 5* hotels, just me, the bike, a map and Europe’s roads. Just like it should be. How quaint.

By now I had a fair idea of the route. Liverpool, Dover, Calais, Paris, Le Mans, Tours, Bordeaux, Bilbao, Picos de Europa, Lisbon, Madrid, Andorra, Millau, Nice, Monaco, Genoa, Pisa, Rome, Florence, Venice, as many Alpine passes as I could get my hands on, Milan, Geneva, Zurich, the Nuburgring, Brussels, Paris, Calais, Dover, Liverpool. In the end, Zurich-Brussels didn’t happen, but more on that later.



How it looked

Not wanting to be underprepared, I started to plan the trip the week before. This consisted of buying everything needed for a full service on the bike (fluids, filters, pads, plugs), a puncture repair kit and a map. That was more or less all that was required. You’d think reading internet fora you would need a support lorry to carry everything required, but as far as I was (and still am) concerned, all you need is a well-prepared bike, clothes and tools. In the event, I only had the latter two and still survived. Luggage consisted of things I already had lying around: a tank bag (Aldi), large rucksack (Lidl) and dry bag (Aldi… there’s a theme here…). Well, I did say it would be on the cheap.

Everything I ordered arrived in time, so I started to do the service on the bike two days before leaving. I managed to do the oil and air filters, as well as a full oil change before getting bored and meeting a friend for cake. Yum. The next day, reality hit. Reality being that my ferry was at 2pm the following day, and I needed to be there an hour before. And the ferry terminal was five hours away. And the bike wasn’t ready. And I hadn’t packed.

All of the above focused the mind.



No idea what I’m doing

Accordingly, I got on with the task of changing the brake pads. At this point I realised that I had never attempted this before and had no idea what I was doing. However, a bit of internet research reassured me that it was straightforward enough. Then I was met with the reassuring sight of brake calipers that had looked as if they hadn’t been touched in five years, with suitably seized pistons. After some choice words, blind panic, and thoughts about whether the ferry ticket was refundable, I managed in an “unlimited numbers of apes will eventually write Shakespeare” type of way to reconstruct the front brakes. Then realised the system was now devoid of fluid and I had no braking power. Fortunately I had some spare, so whacked that in, and hey presto! New pads and even better lever firmness than before! Hurrah! I did a thing! Unfortunately, I had also spotted two alarming lumps of metal sticking out of the middle of the front tyre. Well, no sign of it deflating, and no time to change it, so better just take a gamble on it!

It was now 10pm and the prospect of sleep was rapidly diminishing before my eyes. Dinner and an interesting documentary about Alan Shearer (the extent of my interest in football) later, it was midnight and I still had to put most of the bike back together.

podman

8,850 posts

239 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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beer Lovely stuff, look forward to the updates and pics..

jjones

4,422 posts

192 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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Sounds great so far!

Palms

254 posts

150 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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Oooooh
Looking forwards to more smile

treetops

1,177 posts

157 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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Brilliantly written! Look forward to pics and updates. Front tyre sounds like it's worth checking, don't want the trip delayed. 😄

treetops

1,177 posts

157 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
quotequote all
Brilliantly written! Look forward to pics and updates. Front tyre sounds like it's worth checking, don't want the trip delayed. 😄

redback911

2,702 posts

265 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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Love obsessive compulsive attention to detail and documentation disorder. Thread <Approved> & <Bookmarked>...

HairyMaclary

3,649 posts

194 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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Excellent. I've not long got on 2 wheels and this is one of my aims. Subscribed!

moanthebairns

17,918 posts

197 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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This is going to go tits up I'm in. biggrin

Deranged Granny

Original Poster:

2,313 posts

167 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
quotequote all
Thanks for the kind words.

Day 1

After eventually constructing the bike in the dark, I took it out for a test ride to check that I hadn’t been entirely incompetent with the brakes. Somehow I returned in one piece, after waking up most of the neighbourhood. Sorry. I commenced packing at 2am (by this point I was beyond caring and actually slowing down in a resigned sort of way).



The stuff of nightmares

Miraculously, this was somehow completed just as the birds started singing at 4:30. Then I had an hour of furiously trying to find a way of assembling five weeks’ worth of junk in three unsuitable bags, on a bike entirely unwilling for donkey duty. Another hour later and it was somehow all perched on the rear seat without falling off, whilst I had the luxury of three inches of bum space. Lovely.

After a shower, I decided that breakdown cover and travel insurance were both a good idea, so, wallet notably lighter, I was ready to leave, two hours later than planned, at 8am. Farewells said, I hit the road with the sleepy commuters.



And we’re off!

“Pah!” I thought, “I’ve had no sleep and am more alive than any of you!”. This lasted until Birmingham. To a non-biker, it may be unconceivable to think that you could actually fall asleep on a motorbike on a motorway, travelling at speed. It is in fact very conceivable. Fortunately it only happened a few times and very rarely was it particularly dangerous. What was dangerous, however, was the pressure that my hastily assembled luggage was placing on areas of my anatomy, pinning me to the tank. No time to stop, I was going to miss my ferry! Who needs children anyway! The pain could be accurately described as indescribable by Stafford, and had resulted in total numbness by Oxford. I tried mental distraction techniques. They did not work. It just hurt, a lot. Never mind, all part of the adventure, eh?

Finally, thankfully, I arrived in Dover on time. Unfortunately, my ferry was delayed by one hour. Well, at least I didn’t miss it.

Boarding a ferry is always fun on a bike. It’s always raining (in Dover, at least) and the metal flooring always looks like an ice rink, but at least you get to go on first, and the bike sounds awesome reverberating around the deck. I’m such a child. After strapping the bike down, I made my way to the family lounge, hoping for a nice quiet crossing and a chance to sleep. Instead, what I got was a very chatty Brummie biker and a gaggle of Polish school children, intent on throwing things at each other. All part of the adventure…

The Brummie was actually quite a laugh so we had a nice chat for a while until I was literally comatose. Far too soon, we arrived in Calais to brilliant sunshine. Or driving wind and rain. You pick the most likely option.

Waterproofs being at the bottom of my most inaccessible bag, I decided to MTFU and try to out-ride the rain. (This was unsuccessful). All part of the adventure. Off the ferry and onto French roads. Oh my. This just got real. I am on the continent, on the wrong side of the road, on my own, for the next five weeks, in the driving rain, in an unfamiliar town, with no idea where to go and no route or accommodation planned. Perhaps it would have been a good idea to have done that in advance? Oh well, no point dwelling on the past. Time to crack on!

After a few unintentional circuits of Calais, charming town though it is, I stop to check my map, and hunt out a suitably squiggly road heading South out of Calais vaguely in the direction of Amiens. That’ll do. I ride for as far as I dare, but notice that my riding is starting to worsen due to the increasing tiredness. Time to find somewhere for the night! I follow two signs for “Camping”. One leads to a dead end, whilst the other leads to a very, very shut and very empty looking campsite. All part of the adventure, remember? After eyeing up a very tempting patch of grass off a side road, I finally find a most beautiful sight! Not a campsite, no, but a metal shack off a main D road. Hurrah! That will do. Set the bar low and you can’t be disappointed.

By this point I am utterly exhausted, soaking wet and really couldn’t care less where I sleep. So I get both bike and tent under the shack, pitching the tent to the bike. Good job everything was there as it was the first time the tent had been out of the packaging. After dinner of an apple and two packets of hula hoops, a curious local who I had noticed pass half an hour earlier returns, to politely ask WTF I am doing. I explain and he points out that while not strictly the best place to camp, it is a hunters’ lodge where they convene before and after hunts, so I wouldn’t be bothering anyone overnight. That would explain the abundance of feathers and red stains, then. Suitably cheered, I head to bed at 6pm.



Five star accommodation



Room with a view

At this point, thoughts such as “What on earth am I doing?” and “Why on earth am I doing whatever it is I am doing?” cross my mind. Nevertheless, I finally get to sleep at around about 8pm (my body having chosen bedtime as a good time to finally wake up) and sleep well until 8:15. Back to sleep at 8:30. Back awake at 8.45. And repeat until 7am. Wind and rain, along with a French-constructed shack, conspired to make sleep impossible even with earplugs. All part of the adventure! I did manage to get some sort of sleep after 7am, however, so the next day, I was ready to hit the roads and start the first proper day of the adventure!

Codswallop

5,250 posts

193 months

Tuesday 19th July 2016
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Liking your writing style, and looking forward to the rest of the updates thumbup

dibblecorse

6,872 posts

191 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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Brilliant so far ....

Baryonyx

17,990 posts

158 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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Really enjoying this read. You have a true adventuring spirit.

Guybrush

4,330 posts

205 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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Watching with interest. thumbup

black-k1

11,889 posts

228 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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Great write up so for. You're a brave man. It's not an approach I would take to accomodation.

Fats25

6,260 posts

228 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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Looking forward to reading the rest...........


Fleegle

16,688 posts

175 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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Imagine taking the trip on your trusted ninja


Keep it coming....

silobass

1,176 posts

101 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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What a great thing to do. Enjoying it so far, looking forward to hearing more.

moanthebairns

17,918 posts

197 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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laugh

Brilliant and it's only day one.

irocfan

40,152 posts

189 months

Wednesday 20th July 2016
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My step kids think I'm mad/adventurous for doing a 2 week driving holiday with only the 1st 2 night accommodation booked.... they'd freak at this!!

Well done sir well done indeed, entertaining so far looking forward to reading future installments