Discussion
Am I biker good question ? -
1. Do I commute ? No not anymore now that I have the option of a warm dry car when neccessary, but I've found roads that I didn't even know existed despite living in the same area since I was born, this is hard won knowledge while trying to find the longest way from A to B and extend my ride before going home. Not to mention having a photographic memory for every pockmark, pothole manhole cover, overbanding etc for all of them. This is a lot to fit into my smallish memory so it may or may not have affected my social skills.
2. Do I ride in all weather ? Fug No ! In fact sod Carol on BBC Breakfast and her mates at the Met Office they know nothing. I'm like some Douglas Adams rain god, it can be the bluest of blue skies and if rain is coming I just know.......
3. Have I been assaulted by wildlife ? Being hit in the throat by a bee is akin to being shot at anything over 70mph. Explaining this to anyone non - biker gets looks of mirth and genuine disbelief with extended bottom lip and aww poor you sarcasm. I'm going to shoot them one day with rubber bullets so they can empathise. And I once kneed a fox in the face as I came round a bend with my knee grazing the tarmac as it sat on the white line in the centre of the road. I can never forget the look of fug me disbelief on it's face. I mean you wouldn't think foxes had it in them to convey emotion ?
4. Do I talk to complete strangers about bikes ? Not often but it has been know, however I must have one of those approachable faces that old men with Triumphs must think here looks a man who will be interested in my old, slow, oil pissing mode of transport. I don't mind really but why me ? I have been know to convert others to our cause and get them on the path to biking, like some sort of two wheeled religious faith pusher. Said in the manner of Doctor King - I have a dream........... a 250 superdream......
5. Am I a Nodder ? Yes but mainly depending on my mood and the bike coming the other way. BMW GS's definitely not cause I nodded to a guy with a beard on one once and he ignored me. I know he saw me, I just know, so fug em all my memory is long bastids ......
6. Can I work on my own bike. Yes after many years and much peering in Haynes manuals I can now manage most "5 Spanner Jobs" with minimal help from an "Assistant" Just so we are clear when I say "Assistant" I mean the wife who after ten mins of watching me swear and wrestle with something gently shakes her head and walks out of the garage mumbling something about care in the community under her breath.
7. Do I know about Exotic Materials ? No not that sort of exotic material. I'm not sure when it happened but at some point I became a metallurgist, familiar with terms like silicon carbide, DLC, Scandium, hydro formed titanium, Titanium Nitride etc etc. I'm not sure what a lot of it is but I know I like it and I know it will save me weight. This is despite the fact that my own weight now yearly increases beyond anything I can do to the bike. Along with my loss of hearing, white finger and carpal tunnel etc etc.
8. Can I pull wheelies and get my knee down ? I can but the last time I hoisted one I missed going into second and whacked my plums on the tank hard enough to see stars so until I can find a wheelie school or a carpark without cameras to learn "I'm ooot" I can get my knee down, but I have been know in the early days of this modern phenomenon to use a kids merry go round to get the left slider scuffed because I didn't want to chance a roundabout anti clockwise. I know, I know the shame.....
9. Finally am I superstitious about injury / death ? Me christ no ! I do however have my favourite lucky leathers, and despite the fact that virtually any tyres exceed my ability I only use Bridgestone and Pirelli tyres because they just "feel" right. And I have been known to short shift before 13k because you know just in case ? Oh and on trackdays I do always have on my lucky "No Off" undies.
So am I biker ? No I don't think so I don't think I even know what the term means......
1. Do I commute ? No not anymore now that I have the option of a warm dry car when neccessary, but I've found roads that I didn't even know existed despite living in the same area since I was born, this is hard won knowledge while trying to find the longest way from A to B and extend my ride before going home. Not to mention having a photographic memory for every pockmark, pothole manhole cover, overbanding etc for all of them. This is a lot to fit into my smallish memory so it may or may not have affected my social skills.
2. Do I ride in all weather ? Fug No ! In fact sod Carol on BBC Breakfast and her mates at the Met Office they know nothing. I'm like some Douglas Adams rain god, it can be the bluest of blue skies and if rain is coming I just know.......
3. Have I been assaulted by wildlife ? Being hit in the throat by a bee is akin to being shot at anything over 70mph. Explaining this to anyone non - biker gets looks of mirth and genuine disbelief with extended bottom lip and aww poor you sarcasm. I'm going to shoot them one day with rubber bullets so they can empathise. And I once kneed a fox in the face as I came round a bend with my knee grazing the tarmac as it sat on the white line in the centre of the road. I can never forget the look of fug me disbelief on it's face. I mean you wouldn't think foxes had it in them to convey emotion ?
4. Do I talk to complete strangers about bikes ? Not often but it has been know, however I must have one of those approachable faces that old men with Triumphs must think here looks a man who will be interested in my old, slow, oil pissing mode of transport. I don't mind really but why me ? I have been know to convert others to our cause and get them on the path to biking, like some sort of two wheeled religious faith pusher. Said in the manner of Doctor King - I have a dream........... a 250 superdream......
5. Am I a Nodder ? Yes but mainly depending on my mood and the bike coming the other way. BMW GS's definitely not cause I nodded to a guy with a beard on one once and he ignored me. I know he saw me, I just know, so fug em all my memory is long bastids ......
6. Can I work on my own bike. Yes after many years and much peering in Haynes manuals I can now manage most "5 Spanner Jobs" with minimal help from an "Assistant" Just so we are clear when I say "Assistant" I mean the wife who after ten mins of watching me swear and wrestle with something gently shakes her head and walks out of the garage mumbling something about care in the community under her breath.
7. Do I know about Exotic Materials ? No not that sort of exotic material. I'm not sure when it happened but at some point I became a metallurgist, familiar with terms like silicon carbide, DLC, Scandium, hydro formed titanium, Titanium Nitride etc etc. I'm not sure what a lot of it is but I know I like it and I know it will save me weight. This is despite the fact that my own weight now yearly increases beyond anything I can do to the bike. Along with my loss of hearing, white finger and carpal tunnel etc etc.
8. Can I pull wheelies and get my knee down ? I can but the last time I hoisted one I missed going into second and whacked my plums on the tank hard enough to see stars so until I can find a wheelie school or a carpark without cameras to learn "I'm ooot" I can get my knee down, but I have been know in the early days of this modern phenomenon to use a kids merry go round to get the left slider scuffed because I didn't want to chance a roundabout anti clockwise. I know, I know the shame.....
9. Finally am I superstitious about injury / death ? Me christ no ! I do however have my favourite lucky leathers, and despite the fact that virtually any tyres exceed my ability I only use Bridgestone and Pirelli tyres because they just "feel" right. And I have been known to short shift before 13k because you know just in case ? Oh and on trackdays I do always have on my lucky "No Off" undies.
So am I biker ? No I don't think so I don't think I even know what the term means......
Tommo13 said:
7. Do I know about Exotic Materials ? No not that sort of exotic material. I'm not sure when it happened but at some point I became a metallurgist, familiar with terms like silicon carbide, DLC, Scandium, hydro formed titanium, Titanium Nitride etc etc.....
You missed out the most exotic material of all: 'Billet aluminium'. It is THE most precious metal on the planet, can be formed into brake levers, footpegs, top yokes... It goes up a notch as w
k fuel if it has the magic 'CNC' added to it and approaches jizzing on Rachel Riley's tits if it's anodised a gay colour.
supermotorist said:
I can't see the point of using one for commuting.
At all, or just for you?My commute is 20 miles of M6 into the centre of Birmingham from Cannock. My bike take at least half an hour off it each at the moment given the road works on the M6 and the closures of the Aston Expressway at weekends. I can use bus lanes in the city and pass miles of nose to tail traffic. For me, it makes perfect sense.
Wedg1e said:
Tommo13 said:
7. Do I know about Exotic Materials ? No not that sort of exotic material. I'm not sure when it happened but at some point I became a metallurgist, familiar with terms like silicon carbide, DLC, Scandium, hydro formed titanium, Titanium Nitride etc etc.....
You missed out the most exotic material of all: 'Billet aluminium'. It is THE most precious metal on the planet, can be formed into brake levers, footpegs, top yokes... It goes up a notch as wk fuel if it has the magic 'CNC' added to it and approaches jizzing on Rachel Riley's tits if it's anodised a gay colour.
Yeah I've got billet this, billet that, it winds me up, all billet means is a lump of f
king metal, knobs.....And no I'm not a f
king biker either, I ride bikes for a hobby, I don't wear camouflage trousers or ride a streetifighter or Harley Davidson with a leather jacket covered in patches (like 'Butlins Minehead rally '76'), there's a 'biker' event going on tonight at the rugby club in the field adjacent to my house, I definitely won't be going to that either, I have another bottle of merlot to drink.Edited by Jazoli on Saturday 30th July 19:34
I'm jokingly referred to occasionally as "not a real biker" and in many ways I'd agree I guess.
I can pretty much identify any bike and I do like going to the bike shop, meets or shows. But I don't actually do any road riding, I keep it on the track.
Not sure where I fit into it all.
I can pretty much identify any bike and I do like going to the bike shop, meets or shows. But I don't actually do any road riding, I keep it on the track.
Not sure where I fit into it all.
srob said:
OverSteery said:
As you say, This is the man I relate to more than guy in his white leather suit who comes out on Sunday, or the accountant looking "bad" on his HD at the cafe.
How do you feel about blokes in their 30s who ride 1920s motorbikes?Need to know whether I'm accepted!!!
Being a biker to me is about a group of people who like bikes. That's about where it ends as far as categorising things goes for me.
A biker will stop and see if the bloke pushing his bike needs a hand. There's usually a degree of respect for other people who've made the decision to use two wheels to get from A-B.
And, in my opinion, it seems to attract people who are just a little bit different in their outlook on life.
Them. Those people are bikers.
A biker will stop and see if the bloke pushing his bike needs a hand. There's usually a degree of respect for other people who've made the decision to use two wheels to get from A-B.
And, in my opinion, it seems to attract people who are just a little bit different in their outlook on life.
Them. Those people are bikers.
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