GF does not like bikes - how could I get her to like it?
Discussion
As the title says, I have a small domestic problem that is threatening a lot of discomfort. It is for this reason that I would like to seek your advice.
Earlier this year I proceeded to take my full A license (should have done it years ago); this was done with the full blessing of the GF. She knew and supported the whole learning process, understanding that I had to travel to London to take the tests as I am temporarily posted abroad.
After some discussions she also utters the words of “will you get me a bike I can learn to ride on when as well”. After this, I thought that this was great and proceeded to invest in a tourer for starters. For her I was considering a 125 intruder for town as she is not that tall and easy for her to handle.
The day of the theory arrived, did it and passed. The day of the pre-practical came and I was wished on my way with best of luck, see you in three days honey! Third day comes and go to the test center and walk out with three minor overall.
With this grin on my face I passed to the bike shop who very kindly agreed to deliver my Burgman 650 Exec to the school. Following this I ride home. On arrival, it was the totally opposite story, I hate the things! You are going to kill yourself! Those are my worst fear! Etc…….
Now she is pushing for me to sell the bike but this is not an option because I am enjoying it so much and I see no end of enjoyment. She before I go to work is cold, when I arrive she is cold; basically when anything that relates to bikes and the clothing.
How should I try to convince her that it is alright and that nothing will happen because I am not a reckless person? I have talked to her, offered to take her around town slowly and pay for her CBT to see if she would like to take it further, none work.
I am open to suggestions…..
Thanks,
Andy
Earlier this year I proceeded to take my full A license (should have done it years ago); this was done with the full blessing of the GF. She knew and supported the whole learning process, understanding that I had to travel to London to take the tests as I am temporarily posted abroad.
After some discussions she also utters the words of “will you get me a bike I can learn to ride on when as well”. After this, I thought that this was great and proceeded to invest in a tourer for starters. For her I was considering a 125 intruder for town as she is not that tall and easy for her to handle.
The day of the theory arrived, did it and passed. The day of the pre-practical came and I was wished on my way with best of luck, see you in three days honey! Third day comes and go to the test center and walk out with three minor overall.
With this grin on my face I passed to the bike shop who very kindly agreed to deliver my Burgman 650 Exec to the school. Following this I ride home. On arrival, it was the totally opposite story, I hate the things! You are going to kill yourself! Those are my worst fear! Etc…….
Now she is pushing for me to sell the bike but this is not an option because I am enjoying it so much and I see no end of enjoyment. She before I go to work is cold, when I arrive she is cold; basically when anything that relates to bikes and the clothing.
How should I try to convince her that it is alright and that nothing will happen because I am not a reckless person? I have talked to her, offered to take her around town slowly and pay for her CBT to see if she would like to take it further, none work.
I am open to suggestions…..
Thanks,
Andy
From your post, I suspect the problem is:
1. She doesn't want to learn to ride, and doesn't what you to force her into it by buying her a bike.
2. She thinks you will get hurt, or worse, either through your own fault or someone elses.
3. She thinks you look like a big girl on your super scooter.
Ask her to confirm it's number 2 (it usually is), and then explain you are taking steps to minimise the risk - the very best safety gear, extra training, etc etc.
My other half has zero interest in bikes and I see no point in trying to change that. However she does accept that won't stop me having one. Perhaps you need to look at how much control you want her to have over your life?
1. She doesn't want to learn to ride, and doesn't what you to force her into it by buying her a bike.
2. She thinks you will get hurt, or worse, either through your own fault or someone elses.
3. She thinks you look like a big girl on your super scooter.
Ask her to confirm it's number 2 (it usually is), and then explain you are taking steps to minimise the risk - the very best safety gear, extra training, etc etc.
My other half has zero interest in bikes and I see no point in trying to change that. However she does accept that won't stop me having one. Perhaps you need to look at how much control you want her to have over your life?
Edited by UpTheIron on Friday 25th July 09:52
It's taken me the best part of 4 years to convince the Mrs to let me do my DAS.
The compromise was motocross, so since January 2007 I've been doing that most weekends but it's only made me want a road bike more.
This year I finally convinced her that I should at least get my license before the test etc changes in October and so I'm booked in for 9-11th August.
We've discussed bikes a little bit but, like your Mrs, that's when she starts to put up a bit of resistance. She says she wants me to get something sensible and not something too fast as "she knows what I'm like".
I'd advise that you show your Mrs this thread, particularly the bottom line of my post, which should put your bike choice in a better light.
I'M GETTING A GSXR-750 FOR MY FIRST BIKE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE SAYS!!
Only don't tell my Mrs until after I've bought it!
The compromise was motocross, so since January 2007 I've been doing that most weekends but it's only made me want a road bike more.
This year I finally convinced her that I should at least get my license before the test etc changes in October and so I'm booked in for 9-11th August.
We've discussed bikes a little bit but, like your Mrs, that's when she starts to put up a bit of resistance. She says she wants me to get something sensible and not something too fast as "she knows what I'm like".
I'd advise that you show your Mrs this thread, particularly the bottom line of my post, which should put your bike choice in a better light.
I'M GETTING A GSXR-750 FOR MY FIRST BIKE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE SAYS!!
Only don't tell my Mrs until after I've bought it!
pretzel said:
BIN HER!
that from a girly!
I like it, I agree that from a girly!
One of my mates has a GF like that, she doesn't let him do things he wants to do.
He's a fool as he's still with her, I would of slung the hook. It's your life, its up to you whether you want to take the risk or not, she can't have a say in it, all she can do is be supportive of your decision, and in turn you need to reassure her that you are being sensible and safe when out on the road (Unless she knows you drive like a cock, which would explain her being scared about you being on a bike) :Hehe:
I just bought a fireblade the other weekend and am back on a bike for the first time in over a decade and my missus hates it to say the least. I have three young kids so the dumping is out of the question. I just decided to weather the storm by saying it was what I wanted and that I am a safe rider and do not intend to do anything stupid have the right kit etc. In the last couple of days I think that she has just given in and returned to normal so be patient and reassure and all should be well.
PS I can't believe I haven't had a bike for nearly 11 year! Time wasted.
PS I can't believe I haven't had a bike for nearly 11 year! Time wasted.
From my experience, buying a bike is the ultimate relationship test.
I was with my ex (there's the clue..) for five years. We moved in together and hell, even bought a flat... Then I bought a bike and announced that I was going to take it round Europe. She told me it was either her or the bike.
She moved out while I was touring and I bought the other half of the flat back off her! Ouch..
Current girlfriend doesn't have an interest in bikes but provided I'm wearing all the kit, is pretty cool about it. And she's even asked to go on the back of the 800 GS! Now there's progress for you.
Ditch the bird and post the pics on the thread. It'll be the best thing you've ever done.
Happy days.
I was with my ex (there's the clue..) for five years. We moved in together and hell, even bought a flat... Then I bought a bike and announced that I was going to take it round Europe. She told me it was either her or the bike.
She moved out while I was touring and I bought the other half of the flat back off her! Ouch..
Current girlfriend doesn't have an interest in bikes but provided I'm wearing all the kit, is pretty cool about it. And she's even asked to go on the back of the 800 GS! Now there's progress for you.
Ditch the bird and post the pics on the thread. It'll be the best thing you've ever done.
Happy days.
In my experience, you can't change someones attitute to whether they like bikes or not.
And certainley, don't try and use the "it'll be alright I'm a safe rider" line to justify or persaude otherwise, as there's still risk attached to riding no matter how safe you ride.
The decision is yours.
Either, you want her more and are prepared to give up riding to keep her....
Or, riding is more important than she is, in which case, as others have said, dump her and find someone who is happy with you riding.
And certainley, don't try and use the "it'll be alright I'm a safe rider" line to justify or persaude otherwise, as there's still risk attached to riding no matter how safe you ride.
The decision is yours.
Either, you want her more and are prepared to give up riding to keep her....
Or, riding is more important than she is, in which case, as others have said, dump her and find someone who is happy with you riding.
Can I just clarify my "Bin Her" comment...
It's not that she doesn't like/is scared of bikes... its that she blows hot and cold. If she didn't like bikes why the whole "well get me a 125..." ??
It is possible to change somebody's mind, I wasn't comfortable with bikes, I now ride myself, I know they aren't the safest form of transport but I also understand how exhilerating they are. My husband respected my fears enough to stay away from bikes until I'd accepted them, he then bought himself a 125 for commuting around a city because he knew tha the best way to make me comfortable was through regular exposure but at a level I was comfortable with... he nows has a 600 Ninja and I'm VERY happy with that.
Any relationship should be about mutual trust and respect, something which I'm lucky to have in droves in my marriage, that mutual trust and respect is first and foremost embodied in honesty, by not telling you immediately she had issues with biking I can see no element of trust there... either she thought she would lose you if she told you the truth... not worth keeping if you think you need to be somebody you're not. Next question... had she been honest with you, would you have still gone out and learned to ride? if so then again... definitely time to get out, if not then you're being honest while she's lying both to you and herself... not healthy!
Ooooh, that was a bit deep wasn't it??
It's not that she doesn't like/is scared of bikes... its that she blows hot and cold. If she didn't like bikes why the whole "well get me a 125..." ??
It is possible to change somebody's mind, I wasn't comfortable with bikes, I now ride myself, I know they aren't the safest form of transport but I also understand how exhilerating they are. My husband respected my fears enough to stay away from bikes until I'd accepted them, he then bought himself a 125 for commuting around a city because he knew tha the best way to make me comfortable was through regular exposure but at a level I was comfortable with... he nows has a 600 Ninja and I'm VERY happy with that.
Any relationship should be about mutual trust and respect, something which I'm lucky to have in droves in my marriage, that mutual trust and respect is first and foremost embodied in honesty, by not telling you immediately she had issues with biking I can see no element of trust there... either she thought she would lose you if she told you the truth... not worth keeping if you think you need to be somebody you're not. Next question... had she been honest with you, would you have still gone out and learned to ride? if so then again... definitely time to get out, if not then you're being honest while she's lying both to you and herself... not healthy!
Ooooh, that was a bit deep wasn't it??
your GF got to put up with it. if it was your wife and you had kids it is a different matter but GF. if she does not like bikes all the better. you can get out with your biking mates and have fun.
I wish my wife took more intrest in bikes but then again I'm glad she don't
its good have have different things each person likes in a relationship.
I wish my wife took more intrest in bikes but then again I'm glad she don't
its good have have different things each person likes in a relationship.
pretzel said:
Any relationship should be about mutual trust and respect, something which I'm lucky to have in droves in my marriage, that mutual trust and respect is first and foremost embodied in honesty
Top post Pretzel - any relationship needs to be based around love, support and trust. My wife is the same - really supportive of me and biking as she can see that it makes me happy. Just as I don't enjoy some of the activities my wife enjoys, I support her in them and take an interest in them.
S
Could it be that as it's still new to you, all you talk about is bike this and bike that. Perhaps she feels a little left out of things, and maybe comes second to your bike. Perhaps just spoil her for a bit and let her know that's she's the most important thing in your life, not the bike. (I'm guessing that's the case?!)
Good luck with it though..."they" usually come round to the idea.
Good luck with it though..."they" usually come round to the idea.
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