Top Gear - A Rant (apologies)
Discussion
When I were a wee lad I used to love watching Top Gear with my brothers and father. William Woolard, and that young guy, Jeremy something-or-other with the flares and afro hair.
It came on earlier tonight, whilst I was otherwise occupied and within a few minutes I started feeling violently sick. Am I alone in finding it rather pathetic and sad? With their 'outrageous' real life features where 'The Hamster', 'Jezza' or the other one reverse a Caravan/Tractor/Classic Car/Tank etc into a member of the public's car/motorcycle/bicycle/caravan etc. It is absolutely pathetic. It shows so little imagination and I can almost see the mindless staff having a 'creative' session thinking up these hilarious japes and wheezes, rubbing their hands and laughing loudly at every suggestion Clarkson makes (when he bothers attending them that is).
I really try not to let 'The Hamster' wind me up, but I keep seeing his face on the TV recently. Invariably it's an interview and goes something like this:
"So, Richard, tell us about your new TV show"
"Well, ever since my accident... (LOOKS INTO CAMERA WITH LARGE, DISTANT EYES AND FLASHES OFF 'MANLY YET SENSITIVE' EROTIC TRIBAL NECK BEADS AND OPEN, UNBUTTONED SHIRT) ...I have realised how precious life is and hosting a TV show about firing off fire extinguishers on office chairs/playing football on space hoppers/watching the public clambering over a super-challenging assault course/selling advertising space in a gay porn magazine/wolfbagging/etc was something that I really wanted to do. My wife... (BIG, VULNERABLE HANGDOG CLOSEUP WITH TOUCH-OF-THE-GYPSY-LOVER GOLD EAR STUD GLINTING) really stood behind me on this one....not that I deserve her or my two beautiful kids where I live in our massive house..."
I haven't met him and I can't really blame him for taking every opportunity handed to him but for the love of God, the man has no real talent does he? And now its rubbing off on the other one, who is now doing a Topgearesque show with Oz Clarke. In fact, its probably the same 'creative' team...
"...OH AH AH AH HOOOH, LISTEN JAMES, TARQUERS HAS JUST COME UP WITH AN ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS IDEA FOR THE SHOW... PUT A PAIR OF PANTS ON THE ARIEL OF YOUR CAR! BRILLIANT EH?"
"Er, How about we drive a different classic car each episode?"
"...EH? NO NO NO, YOU MUST SEE PANTS ON THE ARIEL IS BETTER. AND WE CAN PRETEND YOU SLEEP IN A CARAVAN! BRILLIANT! Right, who's got the sniff?"
Poor James - he actually also seems like a nice fellow but once again seems to be having his 'media' gland milked until it is sore, dry and giving up no fluids whatsoever.
PLEASE BBC:
1) CANCEL ALL Hamster/May/Clarkson TV SHOWS except Top Gear
2) Stop it with the ridiculous 'real, live action' filmed features which aren't. No, it's not "what TV is all about". It's s
t.
3) Find some decent creative who actually come up with some ideas that the HUGE viewing audience may relate to. Yes, it IS OK to feature exotica, but why not have features where the boys really, honestly buy £1000 cars from Ebay or Autotrader and really drive them round spain with just a cameraman. I mean, just spending a wee while reading PH forums could give them plenty of ideas, shirley? Lets see them doing stuff the common man would be able to do.
4) Please God someone stop Clarkson releasing any more DVD's. Please. I live in fear of The Hamster imitating him. Its going to happen.... if it hasn't already.
5) How about some bike features, tossers? TG used to do it, why not now?
If I have offended anyone, I am so sorry, but I can't be the only person who sees this? TG is bladdy awful these days and I don't know whether Jeremy is wearing the Kings new clothes and surrounded by hand-grasping, sweaty yes men or is simply now utterly out of touch and past it. It's pretty much all we have (apart from Fifth Gear... also badly flawed and don't get me started on those two bearded personality-bypassed ex-IT sales executives...) and I would love to see it back on track.
Anyway, rant over! I posted it here because I feel us bikers tend to be a little bit more down to earth and 'in touch with the kids'(aren't we?!). With nothing between the soles of our boots and the tarmac except thin air we have to be...
Robsa
It came on earlier tonight, whilst I was otherwise occupied and within a few minutes I started feeling violently sick. Am I alone in finding it rather pathetic and sad? With their 'outrageous' real life features where 'The Hamster', 'Jezza' or the other one reverse a Caravan/Tractor/Classic Car/Tank etc into a member of the public's car/motorcycle/bicycle/caravan etc. It is absolutely pathetic. It shows so little imagination and I can almost see the mindless staff having a 'creative' session thinking up these hilarious japes and wheezes, rubbing their hands and laughing loudly at every suggestion Clarkson makes (when he bothers attending them that is).
I really try not to let 'The Hamster' wind me up, but I keep seeing his face on the TV recently. Invariably it's an interview and goes something like this:
"So, Richard, tell us about your new TV show"
"Well, ever since my accident... (LOOKS INTO CAMERA WITH LARGE, DISTANT EYES AND FLASHES OFF 'MANLY YET SENSITIVE' EROTIC TRIBAL NECK BEADS AND OPEN, UNBUTTONED SHIRT) ...I have realised how precious life is and hosting a TV show about firing off fire extinguishers on office chairs/playing football on space hoppers/watching the public clambering over a super-challenging assault course/selling advertising space in a gay porn magazine/wolfbagging/etc was something that I really wanted to do. My wife... (BIG, VULNERABLE HANGDOG CLOSEUP WITH TOUCH-OF-THE-GYPSY-LOVER GOLD EAR STUD GLINTING) really stood behind me on this one....not that I deserve her or my two beautiful kids where I live in our massive house..."
I haven't met him and I can't really blame him for taking every opportunity handed to him but for the love of God, the man has no real talent does he? And now its rubbing off on the other one, who is now doing a Topgearesque show with Oz Clarke. In fact, its probably the same 'creative' team...
"...OH AH AH AH HOOOH, LISTEN JAMES, TARQUERS HAS JUST COME UP WITH AN ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS IDEA FOR THE SHOW... PUT A PAIR OF PANTS ON THE ARIEL OF YOUR CAR! BRILLIANT EH?"
"Er, How about we drive a different classic car each episode?"
"...EH? NO NO NO, YOU MUST SEE PANTS ON THE ARIEL IS BETTER. AND WE CAN PRETEND YOU SLEEP IN A CARAVAN! BRILLIANT! Right, who's got the sniff?"
Poor James - he actually also seems like a nice fellow but once again seems to be having his 'media' gland milked until it is sore, dry and giving up no fluids whatsoever.
PLEASE BBC:
1) CANCEL ALL Hamster/May/Clarkson TV SHOWS except Top Gear
2) Stop it with the ridiculous 'real, live action' filmed features which aren't. No, it's not "what TV is all about". It's s
t.3) Find some decent creative who actually come up with some ideas that the HUGE viewing audience may relate to. Yes, it IS OK to feature exotica, but why not have features where the boys really, honestly buy £1000 cars from Ebay or Autotrader and really drive them round spain with just a cameraman. I mean, just spending a wee while reading PH forums could give them plenty of ideas, shirley? Lets see them doing stuff the common man would be able to do.
4) Please God someone stop Clarkson releasing any more DVD's. Please. I live in fear of The Hamster imitating him. Its going to happen.... if it hasn't already.
5) How about some bike features, tossers? TG used to do it, why not now?
If I have offended anyone, I am so sorry, but I can't be the only person who sees this? TG is bladdy awful these days and I don't know whether Jeremy is wearing the Kings new clothes and surrounded by hand-grasping, sweaty yes men or is simply now utterly out of touch and past it. It's pretty much all we have (apart from Fifth Gear... also badly flawed and don't get me started on those two bearded personality-bypassed ex-IT sales executives...) and I would love to see it back on track.
Anyway, rant over! I posted it here because I feel us bikers tend to be a little bit more down to earth and 'in touch with the kids'(aren't we?!). With nothing between the soles of our boots and the tarmac except thin air we have to be...
- salutes*
Robsa
mitzy said:
robsa said:
Dugiet said:
st thread
Yes, well, I could have started a thread telling everyone that I am not seeing a girl tonight because I have a cold... except I'm not that desperate.t threadThere are loads of things I like about it, so I still watch it.
But it is crap. Jeremy's complete lack of diy knowhow always ruins the features involving mods.
They've got a really talented bunch of engineers who can obviously come up with something special when it suits them -- I loved the britcar episode, but most weeks we have to settle for antics and mediocrity instead of something really cool.
But it is crap. Jeremy's complete lack of diy knowhow always ruins the features involving mods.
They've got a really talented bunch of engineers who can obviously come up with something special when it suits them -- I loved the britcar episode, but most weeks we have to settle for antics and mediocrity instead of something really cool.
@ the OP. im so glad its not just me who hates the fecking hamster.Gassing Station | Biker Banter | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff