Why the F**K is HMRC so BL**DY incompetent?

[zcacogp]

I'm on hold on the telephone right now. To HMRC VAT department.

Why?

Because, having submitted my VAT return online, I was told "this service is unavailable right now." After I had put in all the figures.

So I called the 'help'line. Took a few details off me, I pointed out that the details were irrelevant to my enquiry (which was "when will this service be back up?"), to be told that the service was unavailable but the submission may have happened successfully and I was just unable to get a confirmation number.

Me: How do I tell whether this has worked?

HMRC tt: Well sir, you need to try re-submitting the return and seeing whether it will accept it. If it won't, then it has been submitted successfully already. But it may take 24 hours to be submitted.

Me: OK, so how do I tell NOW whether it has been successful?

HMRC tt: I can tell you sir.

Me: Oh, OK, well ... care to tell me then?

HMRC tt: Well sir, I will need the entry from Box 5 of your last return to confirm your identity. (NOTE: I had already given them company name, address, VAT number, my name. What one figure from one box on a previous return will confirm is nothing more than that someone else can see my VAT returns.)

Me: Well I don't have my previous returns with me. (They are in another office.) And I may add that I don't take kindly to being pissed around looking for details when all I need is for you to confirm to me that your system is working as it should.

HMRC tt: Sir, I will have to ask you to stop using that language with me, otherwise I will have to terminate the call. Can you confirm the number in box 5 ... yada yada yada.

Me: No, I can't, as I said. I don't have the details, and I would check them on-line but it appears that the system is down.

HMRC tt: Well in that case we can't confirm your identity so we can't confirm whether the submission has been received, sir.

Me: I'd better speak to a supervisor then, hadn't I?


Two points to note:

1. I can well believe everything I read and hear about the fking abysmal incompetence of HMRC.
2. The proposals to let these clowns get hold of everyone's pay, tax it and then pay it to the people in question would be quite funny, if they weren't so utterly, utterly tragic.

3 months ago I was hopeful that Cameron et al would sort out disgraces like HMRC. Of late, this hope has diminished significantly.


OK,

P.S. Still on hold. The call is now 17 minutes long, and counting ...

[TotalControl]

I am not looking forward to ever dealing with them now.

Edit - You still on hold?

Edited by TotalControl on Thursday 23 September 15:20

[zcacogp]

I sincerely hope that you have better experiences with them than I do. However, I suspect I hope in vain ...

Nope. An eMail arrived telling me that I had successfully submitted my VAT return while I was waiting for the supervisor to get his fingers out of his arse and talk to me, so I hung up.

I wonder how much of the UK tax bill is represented by the cost of running HMRC? I'm sure that figure isn't that hard to find out, if you can look up the right sources ...


Oli.

[LivinLaVidaLotus]

Sounds about right for them. We've a bit of dialogue going with them at the moment, written to them and they completely ignored what was actually in the letter and sent some pompous reply back instead. Arghhh...

[Devilstreak]

How apt that I am browsing PH whilst on the phone to them right now and this topic pops up. Although it is the CIS department for a client. Still bloody awful.

[Original Poster]

I'm sure each dept works 1 hour a day, I have tried ringing one dept for 3 days before a couple of months ago, they are painfully incompetent.

[Wings]

All the years that I submitted my VAT returns online, I never once had a problem, in fact I would say that the VAT section of HMR&C gave me a first class service, including an efficient service on my deregistration for VAT, upon my retirement.

[jon-]

Wings said:

All the years that I submitted my VAT returns online, I never once had a problem, in fact I would say that the VAT section of HMR&C gave me a first class service, including an efficient service on my deregistration for VAT, upon my retirement.

I think the general rule is the current systems are great if everything goes to plan, but if even the smallest thing goes wrong you're in for a whole world of pain.

Obg:

Edited by jon- on Thursday 23 September 17:47

[Simpo Two]

Arging with computers is pointless.

Reasoning with unaccountable civil servants is pointless.

Add the unnacountable civil servants to the computers and there's your problem.

[Glassman]

Total nightmare dealing with them.

After paying my PAYE, they started to send me letters demanding payment. When they started to add interest to the amount, I got the payment reference from my bank and sat down to call HMRC.

35 minutes on hold before I could bring the matter to their attention.

[14-7]

zcacogp said:

3 months ago I was hopeful that Cameron et al would sort out disgraces like HMRC. Of late, this hope has diminished significantly.

So you think in 3 months Cameron should be able to sort out the HMRC, Police, Fire, Amblance, tax system, vehicle excise licences, unemployment and pretty much everything else that labour left knackered?

[amirzed]

I have to ring them on average once a week. Sometimes they're pretty good but some of the staff are just plain incompetent. The most difficult thing is the 64-8 authority to speak to about your client, the conv normally goes like this.

them 'i dont seem to have a 64-8 on file so i cant discuss my xyz with you'

me 'I have a letter in my hand from your department confirming details of my client, it is clearly marked 'accountants copy', therefore you clearly have had the 64-8 in the past and you must have lost it'

them 'i can't see it on file sir, i suggest you fill a new one in'

me 'how long will that take'

them 'about 2 weeks'

me 'ok if i fax this paperwork to you right now you can see he's my client, or I can fax the 64-8'

them 'sorry sir we do not take incoming faxes here'

I have come to the point where i just accept their absolute unwillingness to be helpful, on the positive side all the tax/vat inspectors i've spoken to about this understand the issues and i've never had one of their fines stick over them being incompetent.

[Devilstreak]

amirzed said:

I have come to the point where i just accept their absolute unwillingness to be helpful, on the positive side all the tax/vat inspectors i've spoken to about this understand the issues and i've never had one of their fines stick over them being incompetent.

This is the only saving grace. Managed to get two years worth of fines abolished yesterday. All over the fact of the 64-8 issue with a client.

[zcacogp]

14-7 said:

zcacogp said:

3 months ago I was hopeful that Cameron et al would sort out disgraces like HMRC. Of late, this hope has diminished significantly.

So you think in 3 months Cameron should be able to sort out the HMRC, Police, Fire, Amblance, tax system, vehicle excise licences, unemployment and pretty much everything else that labour left knackered?

That's a nice idea, isn't it!

No. Not realistically. Perhaps I am just becoming disillusioned about the coalition, but my hopes of stupidity like this being ended swiftly are ebbing away.


Oli.

[markh1973]

amirzed said:

I have to ring them on average once a week. Sometimes they're pretty good but some of the staff are just plain incompetent. The most difficult thing is the 64-8 authority to speak to about your client, the conv normally goes like this.

them 'i dont seem to have a 64-8 on file so i cant discuss my xyz with you'

me 'I have a letter in my hand from your department confirming details of my client, it is clearly marked 'accountants copy', therefore you clearly have had the 64-8 in the past and you must have lost it'

them 'i can't see it on file sir, i suggest you fill a new one in'

me 'how long will that take'

them 'about 2 weeks'

me 'ok if i fax this paperwork to you right now you can see he's my client, or I can fax the 64-8'

them 'sorry sir we do not take incoming faxes here'

I have come to the point where i just accept their absolute unwillingness to be helpful, on the positive side all the tax/vat inspectors i've spoken to about this understand the issues and i've never had one of their fines stick over them being incompetent.

At least you get through to them - when the team here try and speak to them they usually get an engaged tone.

Also can't remember the last time HMRC sent us a copy of any of the documents.

We sent them a 64-8 on a client which on being followed up they told us they hadn't received. When we told them that we had a signed courier receipt they said it had been forwarded elsewhere but they couldn't phone that office to follow up as they don't have an incoming phone line).

[Mr Overheads]

Just tried to talk to them and I couldn't get past security because the address I gave didn't match the address they had (was calling PAYE section).

It transpired eventually after hanging up and calling back to get someone else, that changing your address using the Government Gateway HMRC login isn't enough (Corporation Tax and VAT both picked up on it) but PAYE have to be told separately that you want the REGISTERED ADDRESS changing, they were sending me CORRESPONDENCE at the new address as that address had been changed.

I also changed it at the Companies House - must be a huge admin saving by feeding through all Companies House Registered Office address changes to all other Government Departments (or the other way around all Government Departments use Co Hse records instead of creating their own).

I wonder how many other Government bodies still use my old address (2 years ago it changed)

[DonkeyApple]

At least you reached them on the phone.

I've been caaling them for days to give them some money and no one answers or the line is engaged.

In fairness, the non business side has always been excellent, just call them up, act retarded (This come naturally in the world of tax) and they do everything for you. The business side appears to be different.
.

[Syd knee]

You basterd, I had just about calmed down having had to deal with them 3 times this week. I have spent hours on hold, talked to halfwit, morons who think because they work for the tax office they are the lord high priests of the economy saviours.
I so wanted to say to the last self rightous git that if he could e-mail me when he got his redundencie notice because of the spending cuts I would have one thing to smile about.

I think my meds may be overdue.

[dom9]

I've been waiting 7 months for a VAT number and still don't know why we don't have one and nor do my accounts know/ understand! Can you get an answer out of them, no, of course you can't

[DonkeyApple]

Simpo Two said:

Arging with computers is pointless.

Reasoning with unaccountable civil servants is pointless.

Add the unnacountable civil servants to the computers and there's your problem.

Maybe it would help is civil servants were switched off and back on again when they stop operating properly?