First phone for 11yo
Discussion
CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
Yeah, that didn't work when I tried it. It turns on, but makes no difference to the songs available to play.
I checked on my daughter’s iPad, and any songs flagged as ‘Explicit’ are grayed out and she can’t select them. Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
LimaDelta said:
Strange one that. I'll have to check again next time I'm home, but it was fairly obvious where to turn it on, it just didn't make any difference within Apple Music.
Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
Family sub. Each kid has their own AppleID which is used to sign in to their devices. Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
Strange one that. I'll have to check again next time I'm home, but it was fairly obvious where to turn it on, it just didn't make any difference within Apple Music.
Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
Family sub. Each kid has their own AppleID which is used to sign in to their devices. Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
AndrewCrown said:
Nicecupoftea
I know you outlined you were an ‘apple’ family… but
Have a look on Human Mobile Devices hmd.com
They bought back the Nokia business from Microsoft.
You will see delightfully retro old phones, but some quite nice ideas of modern phones with smart features e.g. limited apps WhatsApp, you tube, maps etc
Very reasonable priced. Could be a good starter option….graduating to the social complexities of iPhone when she’s a little older?
Thanks for the heads up. Just deciding whether I've got the balls to get rid of the 'smart phone' for the 8000!I know you outlined you were an ‘apple’ family… but
Have a look on Human Mobile Devices hmd.com
They bought back the Nokia business from Microsoft.
You will see delightfully retro old phones, but some quite nice ideas of modern phones with smart features e.g. limited apps WhatsApp, you tube, maps etc
Very reasonable priced. Could be a good starter option….graduating to the social complexities of iPhone when she’s a little older?
LimaDelta said:
CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
Strange one that. I'll have to check again next time I'm home, but it was fairly obvious where to turn it on, it just didn't make any difference within Apple Music.
Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
Family sub. Each kid has their own AppleID which is used to sign in to their devices. Out of interest, is yours a family shared Apple Music subscription, or does she have her own personal one?
Make sure you have parental controls and think about whether she should have it 24/7. I deeply regret giving my eldest a phone at a relatively young age. That generation are blighted by an inability to concentrate or focus due to over phone use and exposure and I wish I could take it back.
CheesecakeRunner said:
LimaDelta said:
Yeah, that didn't work when I tried it. It turns on, but makes no difference to the songs available to play.
I checked on my daughter’s iPad, and any songs flagged as ‘Explicit’ are grayed out and she can’t select them. 
The problem with the effect of social media and messaging apps on teen mental health is that it's not just an individual thing - you can't entirely protect them from the effects of it by not letting them have the apps because "everyone else" (as they describe it) has them and the kids not being able to see what's being said on their own device doesn't mean they aren't aware of it. And there is also the problem that these apps become integral to the way that the kids socialise with each other, if you stop your kid having access it doesn't relocate the social interaction to preferred channels, it just excludes them from it. It's nice to think that you can give them a brick phone and wind the clock back to the 90's, but the environment they are living in has changed. We still won't let the younger child (14) have all of the apps she wants, and her screen time is still restricted, but it's a difficult compromise to manage. They are all going to have to learn to deal with this stuff at some point, it's not going away.
otolith said:
Bonus! No James Blunt here 
(Although there is a clean version)
Get a decent case for whatever you get. Xmas 2022 and Vikingette2 hinted at a new phone as a joint Birthday (8th Dec) and Christmas present. I said yes but conditional that she used whatever case I got for it, not one of those w
ky fashion cases that are 0.1mm thick and do bugger all. So she go an iPhone 14 Pro Max with an Otterbox case. The phone she gave me back, an iPhone XS Max, was trashed with broken screen, sides etc because she used an anime fashion case.
ky fashion cases that are 0.1mm thick and do bugger all. So she go an iPhone 14 Pro Max with an Otterbox case. The phone she gave me back, an iPhone XS Max, was trashed with broken screen, sides etc because she used an anime fashion case.x5tuu said:
GlenMH said:
Agreed - which is why we have gone down the Nokia 8210 route. Calls and texts only, no ability to install social media/messaging apps.
I absolutely understand and get this but you’re also making your kids social pariahs by doing this, giving the unpleasant kids great ammunition to levy at them. You’d be better off having them have zero phones rather than really shonky ones like feature phones based on the interactions I see at my daughters school (primary)
It has been a really useful filter for my child: if someone isn't willing to engage with them on SMS rather than Whatsapp, then they probably won't make much effort with the friendship. And if they are nasty about that, then the decision is even easier.
My child (yr 7) has just had a very successful birthday weekend with the group of friends they wanted - all arranged without social media. Absolutely, there ARE some costs but the benefits outweigh them for us.
We are also an iPhone family, got our daughter an iPhone 11 about 3 years ago when she was 10. We got it as she moved schools just before covid so was a way to establish friendships.We had it locked down with screen time settings initially.
Apple phones felt like the best when it came to locking things down in a way that worked for us, as well as Find My iPhone being reassuring. I know Android does similar stuff but Apple works for us.
I’ve got an SE phone personally and it’s great, but I like small phones and you are right about memory as daughter likes to create videos and download eleventy million games so runs out of room but knows to delete stuff if it happens. The 11 has been great for daughter, she’s been very satisfied with it.
As for social media, I hated the idea, and still hate the idea, of her having it, but succumbed with restrictions. Sharing below of what did and didn’t work for us as an idea if it helps..
She has TikTok as she’s quite creative and finds all sorts of ideas from there to make stuff. The initial setup sent me into anxious overdrive and I kept an extremely close eye on it until I was happy that the algorithms weren’t going to allow nasty stuff through. All the socials have content restrictions and we’ve got them all enabled. If she posts any videos on her account, our rule is she cannot show her face (TikTok has lots of creative blurring or masking options) or her phone will be banned. We limit scrolly time if it gets too excessive but generally she self regulates pretty well with this. Instagram is strictly viewing only. Facebook and Snapchat are an absolute no no and will be for as long as I can influence it! Whatsapp we have a strict rule on not being involved in any group chats. Bullying and falling out happens so easily on group chats as things get misinterpreted. We experienced it first hand and stopping the group chats sorted that out. She’s not interested in twitter.
Random on the spot checks are also in place!
Hope that helps! Good luck!!
Apple phones felt like the best when it came to locking things down in a way that worked for us, as well as Find My iPhone being reassuring. I know Android does similar stuff but Apple works for us.
I’ve got an SE phone personally and it’s great, but I like small phones and you are right about memory as daughter likes to create videos and download eleventy million games so runs out of room but knows to delete stuff if it happens. The 11 has been great for daughter, she’s been very satisfied with it.
As for social media, I hated the idea, and still hate the idea, of her having it, but succumbed with restrictions. Sharing below of what did and didn’t work for us as an idea if it helps..
She has TikTok as she’s quite creative and finds all sorts of ideas from there to make stuff. The initial setup sent me into anxious overdrive and I kept an extremely close eye on it until I was happy that the algorithms weren’t going to allow nasty stuff through. All the socials have content restrictions and we’ve got them all enabled. If she posts any videos on her account, our rule is she cannot show her face (TikTok has lots of creative blurring or masking options) or her phone will be banned. We limit scrolly time if it gets too excessive but generally she self regulates pretty well with this. Instagram is strictly viewing only. Facebook and Snapchat are an absolute no no and will be for as long as I can influence it! Whatsapp we have a strict rule on not being involved in any group chats. Bullying and falling out happens so easily on group chats as things get misinterpreted. We experienced it first hand and stopping the group chats sorted that out. She’s not interested in twitter.
Random on the spot checks are also in place!
Hope that helps! Good luck!!
Cloudy147 said:
She has TikTok
Go careful. People think TT is all frivolous crap, but there's a lot of dark stuff on there and young people are sponges. We found out the hard way.I cannot emphasise how careful you need to be and you NEED to dedicate time and attention if you are going to give any child a phone. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of people that don't actually monitor anything their kids are doing and what they are watching.
Kids using Snapchat? Whats that about? An app that was designed to post stuff that disappears and leave no trace. And you think that giving that to kids isn't going to be a s
tstorm? 
Some of the software manufacturers also need a bit help from kids who somehow manage to bypass the parental controls......little buggers.
Edited by TimmyMallett on Wednesday 27th March 09:40
GlenMH said:
Agreed - which is why we have gone down the Nokia 8210 route. Calls and texts only, no ability to install social media/messaging apps.
+1. First phones normally don't last long. Get the cheapest possible
and expect it to die or get lost.
Claims of "Everyone else in class has a great smartphone and I want one too"
should be ignored.
In a year or two, upgrade to something that does very very limited internet.
The youngster should appreciate the power they have been trusted with.
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