RE: Merc develops fatigue detection
Discussion
I've got a fatigue detection system that works brilliantly.
It's called 'Y.A.W.N.'(Your Anti-Waking Notation), and when it happens, a thing called a brain makes me find a way to stop driving for a bit.
Similarly, I beat Merc to self-applying wipers with a system called 'F.I.N.G.E.R.S.' (F
It's Not Great, Effect Rain-wiper Switch'). When it's raining, this system operates a switch that turns them on. Magic.
Displaying an amazing piece of foresight, I also beat Merc to an automated emergency braking system with a little gadget called 'T.O.E.S.' (Trouble? Oh! Emergency Stop). Amazingly, if there's trouble ahead, this gadget applies the brakes in a swift yet smooth and aggressive motion that stops the car safely.
Also, I have made amazing discoveries in the field of traction control with a system called 'C.A.R.C.O.N.T.R.O.L.' (Can Actually Retain Control On Normal Tarmac, Right Or Left'). It's brilliantly simple, but unfortunately Merc went down a complicated and unsatisfying route.
Unfortunately, the reason why Mercedes have to come up with systems like this is because most of their top-end, fully-specced cars are equipped with 'D.E.A.D.' (Driver Evidently A Dunce), a problem that Mercedes, Volvo and Audi have been working around for ages.
It's called 'Y.A.W.N.'(Your Anti-Waking Notation), and when it happens, a thing called a brain makes me find a way to stop driving for a bit.
Similarly, I beat Merc to self-applying wipers with a system called 'F.I.N.G.E.R.S.' (F
It's Not Great, Effect Rain-wiper Switch'). When it's raining, this system operates a switch that turns them on. Magic. Displaying an amazing piece of foresight, I also beat Merc to an automated emergency braking system with a little gadget called 'T.O.E.S.' (Trouble? Oh! Emergency Stop). Amazingly, if there's trouble ahead, this gadget applies the brakes in a swift yet smooth and aggressive motion that stops the car safely.
Also, I have made amazing discoveries in the field of traction control with a system called 'C.A.R.C.O.N.T.R.O.L.' (Can Actually Retain Control On Normal Tarmac, Right Or Left'). It's brilliantly simple, but unfortunately Merc went down a complicated and unsatisfying route.
Unfortunately, the reason why Mercedes have to come up with systems like this is because most of their top-end, fully-specced cars are equipped with 'D.E.A.D.' (Driver Evidently A Dunce), a problem that Mercedes, Volvo and Audi have been working around for ages.
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