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marshall100
475 posts
70 months
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mattyn1 said: Nothing serious I trust? Hope you are better soon.
My local hospital, Treliske, is a No Smoking site, allegedly. Would not thionk it though as you walk around. Treliske is apparently a hospital, but most people seem to come out with more than they go in with....
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terenceb
303 posts
40 months
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Dont quite understand what is wrong by positioning one's car as to give a clear view of two or three cars in front? If car one apply s it's brakes,you can be on your's before car two or three has looked up from the mobile .
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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Johnnytheboy said: People that drive like this: I was actually taught to drive along the "crown" of the road. It's where the phrase "tear along the dotted line" comes from...
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e21Mark
1,751 posts
42 months
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marshall100 said: mattyn1 said: Nothing serious I trust? Hope you are better soon.
My local hospital, Treliske, is a No Smoking site, allegedly. Would not thionk it though as you walk around. Treliske is apparently a hospital, but most people seem to come out with more than they go in with.... Spent a month in a coma in ITU and a further 7 months on Geevor Ward. They rebuilt my pelvis and left femur and helped me learn to walk again. They saved my life (along with Cornwall's air ambulance) and the care I received was incredible.
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TankRS
1,425 posts
23 months
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the utter knob of a chav in his Civic Type R complete with bean can exhaust, who decided at 6.15am yesterday to sit in the street and bounce it off the limiter, not once but 3 times in the space of 2mins. i had assumed, given the recent spate of chavtastic driving standards that have suddenly popped up round my way, that it was just another stolen motor or chav impressing his mates/chavette in the passenger seat. after the 2nd time i got out of bed, after being awoken by his antics and went out to confront him. Me - what the fu## are you playing at!? Knob - sorry mate, my horns f  ked, and i'm picking (whatever his name was) up! Me - So why don't you get out and knock the door? Knob - I don't want to wake his missus and their new baby up Me - are you f king serious!? you do realise you've probably done that now and woken half the street too! Knob - errrr, sorry mate?? i didnt fink (typed as said by knobjockey) with that his mate bursts out his front door and questions me "gorra a problem, mate?". Me- no, but your mate here seems too. Knob 2 - f k off like, init. (this delightful representative of the human species has only been moved in for just over 2 weeks, already the police have come knocking his door 3 times wanting to speak to him about something, and i hear his music taste is something to be desired from neighbours each side of him, one of which is the mrs cousin) by now a few other residents had popped out on their door steps and giving driver knob the evils/head shakes/knuckle shuffle. as knob2 got in the car i went back to my house and driverknob at least pulled out of the street like a normal person. i was probably a little bit aggressive to him tbh as i had only got to bed 2hrs earlier after a long night at work so was more than a little peeved to have been woken at that time on a Sunday!!
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Liquid Knight
10,523 posts
52 months
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Now would be a good time to apply for a firearms certificate and get a couple of shotguns.
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TankRS
1,425 posts
23 months
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Liquid Knight said: Now would be a good time to apply for a firearms certificate and get a couple of shotguns. you think they'd do one to cover a bunch of us residents  we can take it in shifts then as to who gets the chance to blow his nuts off!
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Liquid Knight
10,523 posts
52 months
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TankRS said: Liquid Knight said: Now would be a good time to apply for a firearms certificate and get a couple of shotguns. you think they'd do one to cover a bunch of us residents we can take it in shifts then as to who gets the chance to blow his nuts off! The sooner they pass a law for euthanasing anyone who can not finish a sentence with saying "br-br-br-br-br-brap!" or "innit bruv" the world will become a better place overnight.
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TankRS
1,425 posts
23 months
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Liquid Knight said: The sooner they pass a law for euthanasing anyone who can not finish a sentence with saying "br-br-br-br-br-brap!" or "innit bruv" the world will become a better place overnight. totally agree!! i noticed my nephew stared talking 'street' lately as his group of friends has changed. he's started talking all 'like init and ffings'.  if my brother doesnt sort him out quicksharp, i'll be giving both of them a slap!!
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trevt
34 posts
15 months
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Killboy said: I have a bit of a problem with some of the approaches the police have. Think I've mentioned it somewhere on here before. I went to a concert and the HMV Forum a little while ago, and during the concert, some talented pickpocket nicked 4 of the 6 of us in the group's phones out our pockets, along with about 8 others in the crowd we knew about. Its fine, I have insurance, not the biggest issue besides I just lost some cool photos. I pitch up the next morning to report it to the police so I can get a case number for theft, as I reported it already to my provider. I walk in and say: "Hi, I'd like to report my phone stolen". Policeman: "Did you see the person who stole your phone". Me: "No, we'd be having a very different conversation if I did". Policeman: "Well then, you mean you lost your phone?". Me: "Nope, it was stolen, along with 3 other phones in our group, and a few other peoples'" Policeman: "If you didn't see someone take your phone, we cant be certain it was stolen, and it was likely lost". - Light bulb goes on here, and I see where he is going. I went on to explain what happened in more detail, still to be told its an issue of loss, rather than theft. I did managed to get in "so, if I park my car on the street, and come back and its gone, was it stolen, or did I loose it, as I never saw the person that took it?". To which he seemed beat, but still handed me the loss form.
There is one of two issues, or a combination at play here: It is too un-PC to claim something is stolen when you cannot identify the perp. Or, it looks way better on crime stats that a whole lot of the population are loosing phones rather than having them stolen. If this were a crime, they would have over 8 cases of theft reported. Perhaps their stats can tell them a rather decent syndicate is operating at the HMV forum. But, this is over 8 cases of the silly public misplacing their phones. I feel for the coppers, as I think they have their hands tied, but somewhere up the foodchain something is rotten. Next time tell them you reported it to your provider and they told you it had been used. Had the same spiel when reporting wifes phone as nicked on the phone. Had to repeat myself 3 or 4 times and only on the last time did the operator let me finish. Either someone using it made it a crime or just realised I wasn't giving up.
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Liquid Knight
10,523 posts
52 months
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TankRS said: Liquid Knight said: The sooner they pass a law for euthanasing anyone who can not finish a sentence with saying "br-br-br-br-br-brap!" or "innit bruv" the world will become a better place overnight. totally agree!! Vote for me in the next election and I'll make it top of my agenda. Due to decomposition creating greenhouse gasses I would propose as a secondary act that anyone caught using the terms "br-br-br-br-br-brap!" or "like innit bruv" be treated to a can of redbull spiked with a drug that chemically castrates the consumer, solving the problem of the ensuing Idiocracy in a generation.
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MGJohn
6,665 posts
52 months
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trevt said: Next time tell them you reported it to your provider and they told you it had been used.
Had the same spiel when reporting wifes phone as nicked on the phone. Had to repeat myself 3 or 4 times and only on the last time did the operator let me finish. Either someone using it made it a crime or just realised I wasn't giving up. Lost is NOT a crime, stolen is. It's yet another way of 'adjusting' reported crime in the wonderful world of official statistics. How many folks when reporting a stolen item being told it's actually lost will resolutely argue the toss ?
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fatboy69
4,811 posts
56 months
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mattnunn
4,114 posts
30 months
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Followed a women (Pug 206 obviously) through town this morning whose interior rear view mirror was pointing down and at her so she could look at herself, she wasn't doing make up or using it, which makes me wonder if it like that permanently - knobette.
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forzaminardi
867 posts
56 months
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mattnunn said: Followed a women (Pug 206 obviously) through town this morning whose interior rear view mirror was pointing down and at her so she could look at herself, she wasn't doing make up or using it, which makes me wonder if it like that permanently - knobette. Maybe she was looking down her own top? I'd do that if I had boobs, too.
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Dr Jekyll
5,531 posts
130 months
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forzaminardi said: Maybe she was looking down her own top? I'd do that if I had boobs, too. One of my colleagues saw this and said ‘So would I.’ She’s a bit self conscious about being rather flat chested. 
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hidetheelephants
5,598 posts
62 months
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forzaminardi said: Maybe she was looking down her own top? I'd do that if I had boobs, too. You are Steve Martin. 
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mustard tab
275 posts
46 months
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early morning fog, reduced visibility, no lights, knobs the lot of them.
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AlexRS2782
891 posts
82 months
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Black Volvo XC90 with the reg R 80 TER, deliberately positioned & spaced to read RB8 TER. Had the misfortune of following the f king stupid woman driving it between Andover & Newbury earlier this afternoon. God knows how she has a licence but she gains the term of knob-ette for the following reasons: - In every NSL stretch of road she only did 45mph max (if myself and the cars behind were lucky enough). - When driving through villages with a 30mph speed limit, she still drove at 40mph approx and in one instance nearly ran over an elderly woman crossing the road. At which point she leaves the 30mph zone i then catch up in the NSL where again she doesn't do more than 45mph. - When approaching every corner, especially the nice flowing corners which even my old 205 GTI can easily take at the NSL, she elects to slam her foot on the brakes and slow to 35mph or less to negotiate said corners. - When i attempt to overtake on a straight section of road where it's legal, totally clear & visble to do so, she elects to drift over the white lines to stop me and the car behind from getting by. - And finally when a Paramedic Volvo can be seen & clearly heard bearing down behind us at speed, she elects to again drift over the white lines apparently in an attempt to prevent the Paramedic from also overtaking and very nearly forcing him up onto the grass verge as he tried to get by her. 
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340600
173 posts
12 months
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The charming fellow in a white 116d who felt it necessary to give me a 10 second (no exaggerating) round of applause after I moved from lane 1 to lane 3 to overtake him, and then back to lane 1 again. He remained in lane 2 throughout. Then deliberately sped up to tailgate me when I moved back out to lane 3 to overtake more middle lane enthusiasts.
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