What has your "friend" been up to?

What has your "friend" been up to?

Author
Discussion

Tara llems

73 posts

126 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
Tara llems said:
Fell in love with an escort. Left everything for her.

Not the Ford variety.
Well you can't just leave that there
What else do you want to know?

The Nur

9,168 posts

184 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Tara llems said:
Blown2CV said:
Tara llems said:
Fell in love with an escort. Left everything for her.

Not the Ford variety.
Well you can't just leave that there
What else do you want to know?
More details hehe

Tara llems

73 posts

126 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
The Nur said:
Tara llems said:
Blown2CV said:
Tara llems said:
Fell in love with an escort. Left everything for her.

Not the Ford variety.
Well you can't just leave that there
What else do you want to know?
More details hehe
PM me and i'll give you his full story smile

The Nur

9,168 posts

184 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Fair play, an excellent post with only one "myself" and one "I" wink

And thanks for sharing, sounds like a hell of a situation.

eta: bugger, it was there a minute ago, I can see why it was shifted though.

Tara llems

73 posts

126 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
The Nur said:
Fair play, an excellent post with only one "myself" and one "I" wink

And thanks for sharing, sounds like a hell of a situation.

eta: bugger, it was there a minute ago, I can see why it was shifted though.
wink was a bit too dangerous for the forum. Not his proudest moment and a very tough decision.

The Nur

9,168 posts

184 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Tara llems said:
wink was a bit too dangerous for the forum. Not his proudest moment and a very tough decision.
I commend you for sharing it, really. Hell of a story and your friend is a very brave man wink

WreckedGecko

1,191 posts

200 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Damn I missed it...

The Nur

9,168 posts

184 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
WreckedGecko said:
Damn I missed it...
If the poster is willing to send it I would definitely recommend a PM, good story smile

selym

9,539 posts

170 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Tara llems said:
wink was a bit too dangerous for the forum. Not his proudest moment and a very tough decision.
Sounds intriguing Mr Ilems, I don't suppose you'd fire it my way?

Ki3r

7,806 posts

158 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
And mine smile.

Nero601

1,566 posts

195 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Pan Pan said:
Whilst on a long road trip my `friend' had cause to use one those new automatic toilet booths in Market Downham. On entering my `friend' discovered a 1 metre wide stainless steel bowl, which had two L shaped arms the he had to pull down to sit on. After completing the business. he noticed an instruction plate on the inside of the door, so leaned forward to read it. At this point one of the arms slipped upward catching my `friends' underpants, dragging him back towards the stainless steel bowl as it rose to its starting position against the back wall of the booth. This triggered a shower of cold water used to flush the bowl, which then turned to (very) hot water (for hand washing) over my `friends' a*se, followed by a gale of hot air (meant for drying hands) going up my `friends' jacksie. needless to say, I, oops! sorry, my `friend' made a mental note, never to go in one of those things ever again
rofl

Patrick1964

696 posts

230 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
My friend went to the BBC 6 Music festival in Manchester and had a pee in the hand wash sinks thinking they were the urinal - despite thinking "these are very high". Despite the hand soap being balanced on the top. Despite the sink being in full view of the door. Despite being sober.

Nero601

1,566 posts

195 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
Soon after 'my Friend' passed his driving test he took the company 205 Van home , returning from his then Girlfriends house around 1.30 am , he decided to try to emulate 'Insert Rally Driver of your choice" with some lift off oversteer in said (diesel) van , failed really badly to do this and entered a ditch and almost got away with it , until the front left wheel connected with the Concrete Culvert which blew the Tyre and put a massive dent in the steelie .

My 'friend' then walked three miles home , got his Dad out of bed to drive his Dad on the back of a 50cc Yamaha back to the stricken van , changed the wheel for the spare using the crappy headlight beam from the Yam , getting his Dad home in time to 'get up' to go to work .

His boss on being told of this the next day laughed and said lesson learned don't do it again , so I hear whistle

'He' and his Dad still laugh about this many years on



Condi

17,089 posts

170 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
surveyor said:
My friend had to visit a site yesterday that was down a farm track. After the third bottoming out he decided to leave his hire car and walk....
Your friend obviously doesnt try hard enough. My friend goes down farm tracks for a living and can just about count on one hand the number of car parts he has left by the side of the road.

He also thinks that Audi A4's are far too low, but given enough right boot can get most places. In fact, hes never actually been stuck.

blearyeyedboy

6,252 posts

178 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
quotequote all
zarjaz1991 said:
My friend's first car was an old Focus, which he apparently parked in a railway station car park that was divided into two by short concrete bollards, one of which was in front of his car.

He duly got in his car to drive off, forgot the bollard was there, and it ripped the offside wing off.

Stupid dhead he was. Shouldnt be trusted with more valuable cars.
My friend did a similar trick with a rock in a car park a few years ago and beached his (FWD) car trying to drive forwards through the rock. My friend's then-girlfriend was deeply unimpressed, but my friend was incredibly grateful to the strangers who helped him push the car back off again.

My friend has always carefully looked in front of a car before pulling off ever since.

ManOpener

12,467 posts

168 months

Thursday 17th April 2014
quotequote all
blearyeyedboy said:
zarjaz1991 said:
My friend's first car was an old Focus, which he apparently parked in a railway station car park that was divided into two by short concrete bollards, one of which was in front of his car.

He duly got in his car to drive off, forgot the bollard was there, and it ripped the offside wing off.

Stupid dhead he was. Shouldnt be trusted with more valuable cars.
My friend did a similar trick with a rock in a car park a few years ago and beached his (FWD) car trying to drive forwards through the rock. My friend's then-girlfriend was deeply unimpressed, but my friend was incredibly grateful to the strangers who helped him push the car back off again.

My friend has always carefully looked in front of a car before pulling off ever since.
A friend of mine (actually a friend in this case) did exactly the same in his work LWB Sprinter in the car park of a cinema. Pulled up about two feet from a concrete bollard, watched a film, hopped in afterwards and drove straight into it.

zarjaz1991

3,471 posts

122 months

Thursday 17th April 2014
quotequote all
ManOpener said:
A friend of mine (actually a friend in this case) did exactly the same in his work LWB Sprinter in the car park of a cinema. Pulled up about two feet from a concrete bollard, watched a film, hopped in afterwards and drove straight into it.
They are lessons well learned.

I, er I mean my friend, always checks the front of the car before pulling off now.
Although latterly, I, er I mean he, always reverses into parking spaces now, making this less likely.

masermartin

1,629 posts

176 months

Thursday 17th April 2014
quotequote all
My "friend" decided as a 16 year old, watching an elderly relative struggle trying to reverse park at our house at a family gathering, that Ihe should help him by doing it for him. Except he couldn't actually drive at that point. The relative made him get out after stalling it for the second time and nearly reversing into a wall.

omgus

7,305 posts

174 months

Thursday 17th April 2014
quotequote all
My "friend" has:

  • Steered a vehicle whilst the driver used his hands to do the pedals and had his feet out of the sunroof, wethey got into 4th at about 50mph and then had a roundabout issue. (Uno 903cc)
  • Decided that rather than wait for the car to return he would just hold onto the roof on the 3 mile b-road journey from one pub to another, later discovered he might have been the soberest person involved.
  • On the M40 he has done the passenger circuit (out the sunroof back in through the window. Much mind altering substances had been involved in this.
  • A little later on the M40 he watchedencouraged the driver of the car to do the drivers circuit and after he mostly out of the sunroof and was attempting the highly dangerous "get a foot through the dirvers window" section my friend may have closed the window and then started shutting the sunroof. Much punching in the top of the head resulted from this.
  • Jumped his CRX over a humpback bridge at increasing speeds until mechanical failure ended that game.
  • Had an argument in a gravel car park with a bunch of very pretentious picnicers who took exception to my friends Scooby being so loud, when he returned to his car the picnicers in question had escalated the situation by placing some rubbish on the spoiler of his car, as he left he may have dropped the clutch and ruined their picnic with gravel grapeshot.
  • Went to visit his little sister in her new house the day she moved in and got in a fight with a neighbour, although the neighbour was exceptionally pleasant to his sister in future.
  • Got followed into a car park by a chavvy who claimed my friend had cut him up. After a slight argument, mild scuffle and threats of serious violence my friend bought said chavvy a pint to apologise and then as he started to drink it my friend returned to his car and rammed chavvy s car multiple times before driving off.
  • Used to play bumper cars with two of his mates, the bumper cars in question were a Polo CL Breadvan, a Golf Driver and a Citroen ZX, during one game my friend ambushed the polo coming out of a car park and managed to get a decent hit into his drivers door before escaping. 2 hours later the Polo driver turned up having been in a fair bit of trouble for driving into a very similar ZX in traffic only to then notice it was being driven by an old woman.

My friend was an arse, unfortunately he still has regular relapses so i will probably be able to update this.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Thursday 17th April 2014
quotequote all
ManOpener said:
A friend of mine (actually a friend in this case) did exactly the same in his work LWB Sprinter in the car park of a cinema. Pulled up about two feet from a concrete bollard, watched a film, hopped in afterwards and drove straight into it.
YELLOW CARD! Stories about your friend are not allowed in this thread. The only stories that are allowed are stories about your friend.