Match.com (Volume 5)
Discussion
GloverMart said:
Mobile Chicane said:
To not offer an explanation is beyond cowardly, and changes my view entirely of the integrity / emotional maturity of the individual concerned.
I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bulls
t-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.
+1I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bulls
t-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.Found myself nodding in agreement at all of this, bit by bit. The paragraph about "80% of people in the situation of living with someone but not sleeping with them" is absolutely spot on; I've been in that position (as the cheated, not the cheater) and I can't believe I was so bloody gullible.
I've had the odd 'bump in the road' over the years, but would rather believe that people are inherently good, than allow myself to become bitter and cynical.
Somewhere, there is someone out there for me.
The Buddhist answer to knowing whether or not you can trust someone, is to just trust them.
Mobile Chicane said:
Hey. Gullible is as gullible does.
I've had the odd 'bump in the road' over the years, but would rather believe that people are inherently good, than allow myself to become bitter and cynical.
Somewhere, there is someone out there for me.
The Buddhist answer to knowing whether or not you can trust someone, is to just trust them.
Here's the thing - if you go in cynical and judging someone based on others then you're fI've had the odd 'bump in the road' over the years, but would rather believe that people are inherently good, than allow myself to become bitter and cynical.
Somewhere, there is someone out there for me.
The Buddhist answer to knowing whether or not you can trust someone, is to just trust them.
ked before you've really started. The only way to do it is to decide to trust until they prove they don't deserve it. You can go with the 'trust has to be earned' route but even then you still have to ditch the doubts or you're just another person carrying baggage, which isn't a good place to start.
I'm a cynical as the next person but you have to roll the dice, take a gamble and believe that people are inherently good or you will end up alone, smelling of piss and surrounded by cats.
Impasse said:
Mobile Chicane said:
Somewhere, there is someone out there for me.
Most definitely there is somewhere MC.Makes one feel hideous and unloveable.
Hey, I've a thick skin, but this internet dating lark is surely testing it.
Mobile Chicane said:
GloverMart said:
Mobile Chicane said:
To not offer an explanation is beyond cowardly, and changes my view entirely of the integrity / emotional maturity of the individual concerned.
I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bullst-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.
+1I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bulls
t-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.Found myself nodding in agreement at all of this, bit by bit. The paragraph about "80% of people in the situation of living with someone but not sleeping with them" is absolutely spot on; I've been in that position (as the cheated, not the cheater) and I can't believe I was so bloody gullible.
Tonberry said:
Firmly in the right now camp.
Far too many women wait for the 'one' and by the time they know it they're over the hill and their best days are behind them.
Life is for enjoying, fear of getting hurt will prevent you from achieving that.
Very inclined to agree.Far too many women wait for the 'one' and by the time they know it they're over the hill and their best days are behind them.
Life is for enjoying, fear of getting hurt will prevent you from achieving that.
If you let yourself become embittered by life's incidents then it's a short and unpleasant journey to a place lonely and alone. Being now a member of the 40++ club and seeing a lot of lonely divorcees and the odd widower or two, I'm reminded of how proactive and commitment you have to be to not become that lonely embittered person. It's a slippery slope and one easy to start sliding down.
I went for lunch this week with a single female friend, she was complaining (again) that she can't meet the right guy. It appears she's looking for a guy who has brad pitts looks, ron jeremeys cock, donald trumps wallet, and works as a surgeon or some other 'fancy' job.
When I gently suggested she might need to compromise a bit or be left with fk all, she then pointed out that I wasn't settling down either. But its a complete misunderstanding of the situation... we're both 32. I'm an ugly bloke with money. She's a hot female and pretty much always broke. Business is reasonably good... in reality I've got years to settle down unless something disastrous happens work wise. I'll have just as much chance of finding a nice chick when I've got even more money and in my late 30's, than as I have now. She's only going to lose any advantage she has as she goes onwards.... meaning this fantasy guy in her head is far less and less likely to be interested.
Women... they're all mental.
When I gently suggested she might need to compromise a bit or be left with f
k all, she then pointed out that I wasn't settling down either. But its a complete misunderstanding of the situation... we're both 32. I'm an ugly bloke with money. She's a hot female and pretty much always broke. Business is reasonably good... in reality I've got years to settle down unless something disastrous happens work wise. I'll have just as much chance of finding a nice chick when I've got even more money and in my late 30's, than as I have now. She's only going to lose any advantage she has as she goes onwards.... meaning this fantasy guy in her head is far less and less likely to be interested. Women... they're all mental.
Tonberry said:
Firmly in the right now camp.
Far too many women wait for the 'one' and by the time they know it they're over the hill and their best days are behind them.
Life is for enjoying, fear of getting hurt will prevent you from achieving that.
I agree to some extent, but 'over the hill'?Far too many women wait for the 'one' and by the time they know it they're over the hill and their best days are behind them.
Life is for enjoying, fear of getting hurt will prevent you from achieving that.
Never.
It depends how you define yourself: I know 30 year-olds who are 'old'; yet 70 year-olds who aren't old at all.
A tired old cliché, but true nevertheless. It's just a number.
Mobile Chicane said:
To not offer an explanation is beyond cowardly, and changes my view entirely of the integrity / emotional maturity of the individual concerned.
I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bullst-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.
I really couldn't agree more, cheers MC.I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bulls
t-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.With a much more sensible head on today, tainted by too much red wine at a party yesterday, I have just read all the texts on my phone. I'm still really puzzled by the handbrake turn (Motoring ref seeing as this is PH) after 2 or so weeks and it does make me wonder how one is suppose to believe anything at all any more.
After all I had nothing to offer her, apart from me, living in a tiny flat, no money, no hair on me head (although too much elsewhere) so why 'act' so into me.
Never mind! at least I can go back to not shaving and wearing crap clothes. It was a lot of hard work trying to look good, fit and trim, especially when she took me swimming at her sports club. Now I can relax those tummy muscles
croyde said:
Mobile Chicane said:
To not offer an explanation is beyond cowardly, and changes my view entirely of the integrity / emotional maturity of the individual concerned.
I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bullst-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.
I really couldn't agree more, cheers MC.I tend to think you should put as much thought into ending a relationship as you do into starting one, but hey, maybe that's just me.
My take on those circumstances where people live together but claim not to share a bed, is that a good 80% are lying. Very few people would be prepared to put up with such a situation, unless it were mutually agreed they were both free to seek sexual relationships with other people.
In this circumstance, she slithered off at 2 AM, rather than enjoy a morning in bed with you. My guess is the husband believes 'she was having a good night out with the girls and lost track of time', rather than 'got banged into the middle of next week by some other bloke'.
Now that the M-i-L's been taken ill, reality has hit home, and she's deciding which side her bread is really buttered on. You haven't been offered an explanation because she's too cowardly to confront even her own feelings on the issue - never mind yours - and feels guilty as Hell.
Perhaps your own experience of platonic marriage has skewed your bulls
t-ometer in this case. It bears repeating: the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.With a much more sensible head on today, tainted by too much red wine at a party yesterday, I have just read all the texts on my phone. I'm still really puzzled by the handbrake turn (Motoring ref seeing as this is PH) after 2 or so weeks and it does make me wonder how one is suppose to believe anything at all any more.
After all I had nothing to offer her, apart from me, living in a tiny flat, no money, no hair on me head (although too much elsewhere) so why 'act' so into me.
Never mind! at least I can go back to not shaving and wearing crap clothes. It was a lot of hard work trying to look good, fit and trim, especially when she took me swimming at her sports club. Now I can relax those tummy muscles
But hey, you can relax now. You couldn't keep up the shaving and not wearing crap clothes forever, could you?
Something had to give at some point. Rather find out now than three months down the track.
Mobile Chicane said:
You say that, but I'm surprised by the number of blokes who want to take me out, then decide they've dated someone else who they prefer!
Makes one feel hideous and unloveable.
Hey, I've a thick skin, but this internet dating lark is surely testing it.
I gave up on internet dating for that very reason... I generally do okay in real life, but when it comes to internet dating, people seem to have the "grass could be greener" mentalityMakes one feel hideous and unloveable.
Hey, I've a thick skin, but this internet dating lark is surely testing it.
Fidgits said:
Mobile Chicane said:
You say that, but I'm surprised by the number of blokes who want to take me out, then decide they've dated someone else who they prefer!
Makes one feel hideous and unloveable.
Hey, I've a thick skin, but this internet dating lark is surely testing it.
I gave up on internet dating for that very reason... I generally do okay in real life, but when it comes to internet dating, people seem to have the "grass could be greener" mentalityMakes one feel hideous and unloveable.
Hey, I've a thick skin, but this internet dating lark is surely testing it.
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