Last night a bird flew into to our garage. It is still very much alive and crapping this morning, and has resisted all attempts at catching it. It's far to quick for me tottering around in the rafters waving a fishing net, and every time I pull out the BB gun to try and stun it, it dives for cover in the gap where the rafters meet the walls and soffet boards. Short of filling the garage with gas, I don't see a way of incapacitating it long enough for me to get at it, and I don't particularly want to leave it to die and start stinking out the garage.
Any ideas, PH collective lateral thinkers?

If only you could fabricate some kind of massive hole in one of the walls for it to fly out of...

And a dog to catch the cat?

snake to get the dog who was to get the cat who was o get the bird?

Go and eat a big bowl of scrambled eggs in the driveway, just to show the little sh!ts what you're capable of!!!

Does anyone else think this suggests the OP is wearing high heels?

If this is the case OP, I'd say it's your first mistake in the act of animal trapping.

OP, how do you know it's a bird?

For definite?