well i woke up Thursday morning feeling like i had been abducted and had the full anal probe job.... skip forward a day or so and i think i could have been raped in my sleep by satan himself and the pain is getting worse starting to hurt when i cough or walk or wipe my arse..... as usual being a normal bloke i go through all the internet forums thinking the worst. not slept due to the arse pain in 3 days, well today Monday i wake up from a very broken sleep due to the pain and have to go to work, even sitting in the car was agony let alone walking to it... for the first half of the day sitting at my desk was torture, finally went to the loo and there was a pop... whatever it was had burst.. blood and puss dripping out but bloody hell the relief, still very sore but not what it was this morning, about half an hour ago i sprayed some germaliod hc on my arse followed by some germalene cream, my god how good is the spray !!! about an hour on i am totally fine , the germaline is just to stop any further infection from the burst haematoma, but hell its good.... just wondering how many other blokes had woke up in the morning in agony with their arses and if its kinda normal.... usual funny remarks expected... seriously though this morning i could have cried it hurt so much... one of the vilest pains ive ever had . The other half wanted me to see the doc... me being a normal bloke with an exit only sign didn't fancy another blokes digit up my arris !!!

Get it checked out, they have a habit of coming back. A close relative had to have surgery to clear everything out. Be brave!

after it popped yesterday, i got some medical advice. a good spray of germaloud hc followd by a dab of germaline antiseptic... no more pain just feel a little bruised. but at least the pain is gone, i can sit down, i had a good nights undisturbed kip too. nice to be on the mend it truley was awful. As for the doctor...yeah stupid i know but thats us men for you. I had decided though if it didnt sort itself by the end of the week i would bite the bullet and go.

What the fk?

I mean, seriously, what the fk?

With all due disrespect, you're not a normal bloke, you're a fking idiot. Still, die young of prostate cancer because you're absolutely determined not to be thought of as a bender, see if I care.

I remember a mate saying years ago "i'd rather have prostate cancer than a doctors finger up my bum" - I remember thinking, WTF? I've had headaches where I'd have a doctors digit if it cured me...let alone something you die from!

Maybe it's having been at 3 c-sections (my kids, I dont stalk hospitals for such things!) - seeing the insides of someone (my wife!) while the doctors discussed the merits of Bon Jovi V George Michale made me realise, its just body bits to these guys - elbow, back side, spleen, toe. It's like not going to a mechanic because the problem is with an exhaust!

OP? What had been going on the night before? Nothing you can think of to link to it?!

Clear what out? It's gone hasn't it?

Top post. Can you acquire common sense by osmosis? If so, if the OP reads this, there might be hope for him yet.

Ms spikeyhead also thought your OP was blatantly homophobic, "outrageously homophobic" were her exact words, and she's cleverer that me, she's a doctor.

I tell you what, if you don't want to be accused of being homophobic, don't write posts in homophobic terms. That should do the trick!

alternavily and i dont give a ste if your mrs backs you up .... are we hiding behind her frock as justification ? DO NOT EVER fkING JUDGE ME ON YOUR OWN VERY MISGUDED, MISJUDGED OPINIONS, PRICK . do i take offense.... hell yeah you tool.