Being male and hetereosexual, when I urgently needed a large amount of drink for a party last night I set off for the local real cider shop. On the way, I stopped off at Tesco for a few bits, and noticed a big promotional stand advertising 1.5 litre bottles of Lambrini 7.5% for £1.50 each. "Pah!" I thought, "cheap it may be but you still wouldn't catch me drinking that rats piss. Do I look like a 16 year old council estate chav girl?"

About 10 milliseconds later it dawned on me that the 10 litre box of 7.5% Black Dragon I had set out to buy was £30, and that there was the potential liberation of £20 in dirty takeaway money.

I bought 6 bottles of Lambrini.

Where do I hand in my man card, ph membership and imaginary mx5/330d keys on the way out?

I think the answer to that is yes, yes you do.

Rumour has it that Jimmy Savile used to buy Lambrini by the crate. Even though he was teetotal. Can't think why...

actually, why did you not buy that black dragon? i tryed some at a cider festival [well, a few cider makers in a barn] and it was great.

made and sold by the double vision company iirc, and thats a kentish cider maker, you not from kent are you?

Then yes - hand in your keys and badge.
You calculated the the most amount of alcohol you could get for the least money was Lambrini - and then you bought it.
This isn't the PH way - that isn't even the partially self respecting tramps way.

You are going to actually attend parties with other people (possibly even women) and you're going to rock up with a bottle or two of lambrini?



Utterly brilliant.

Yes. Yes, you are. In fact you're even more stupid.

No mate, nothing stupid about anyone who looks toward UKIP, Lambrini or not