Alcoholism? Help Needed.....
Discussion
Talk to your partner, but don't accuse her.
If you start accusing her of having a problem (any problem), then she will just hide it all the more, in an attempt to show you that it isn't a problem.
Other than that, I don't have any further advice, and hand over to those who have more experience of this.
If you start accusing her of having a problem (any problem), then she will just hide it all the more, in an attempt to show you that it isn't a problem.
Other than that, I don't have any further advice, and hand over to those who have more experience of this.
Do you nag her about her drinking? She may feel the need to hide it away from you so that you don't moan at her. (assuming you do) If you don't, I feel the problem could be far worse than she is likely to admit. She is clearly drinking more than she is letting on & I would be having a word with her with any concerns (regarding children being raised in this enviroment etc) & confront her as to why she is hiding it.
I enjoy a couple of glasses of red wine most nights to "unwind" but I wouldn't hide it away from my girlfriend.
I enjoy a couple of glasses of red wine most nights to "unwind" but I wouldn't hide it away from my girlfriend.
Talk to her, soon.
Alcoholism is a disease, not something people do "for fun"
even though the start of it may have been in the "having fun / getting loose" region.
Hiding stuff means that your partner already has a bad conciousness about it,
knows that drinking is not doing her any good but can´t stop it.
Look if there are any help centres / groups in you local area
where you can get a date, either for her or for both of you,
since having an addicted partner can very seriously affect your relationship.
(look for "codependency" for more on that subject).
You / she must find the reason why she can´t / does not want to live sober anymore.
Best of luck for both of you.
Alcoholism is a disease, not something people do "for fun"
even though the start of it may have been in the "having fun / getting loose" region.
Hiding stuff means that your partner already has a bad conciousness about it,
knows that drinking is not doing her any good but can´t stop it.
Look if there are any help centres / groups in you local area
where you can get a date, either for her or for both of you,
since having an addicted partner can very seriously affect your relationship.
(look for "codependency" for more on that subject).
You / she must find the reason why she can´t / does not want to live sober anymore.
Best of luck for both of you.
Try speaking to her on a more general level without mentioning the drink - is something else causing her problems/stresses that might be the root of the problem? If this is the case you might be able to resolve it without the need to ask about the alcohol.
If all else fails you could drink all the vodka yourself.
If all else fails you could drink all the vodka yourself.
A lot depends on the kind of relationship that you have with your wife.
If you have a very open relationship, with honest communication then it is probably as simple as talking to her about it.
I would avoid focusing on the alcohol and instead talk to her about the underlying problem that is making her turn to drink. Could she be suffering from PND?
The worst thing to do is go in all guns blazing and making accusations. She'll likely withdraw into a shell and it will make the whole thing more difficult.
If you have a very open relationship, with honest communication then it is probably as simple as talking to her about it.
I would avoid focusing on the alcohol and instead talk to her about the underlying problem that is making her turn to drink. Could she be suffering from PND?
The worst thing to do is go in all guns blazing and making accusations. She'll likely withdraw into a shell and it will make the whole thing more difficult.
I don't really know what you should do but you need to do something, don't ignore this.
Alchoholism is a horror.
And nothing can drive you to drink quite like looking after young children, I can speak from experience on that. It may be as simple as getting her to seek another "out" from the frustration and angst of being at home with a baby.
Alchoholism is a horror.
And nothing can drive you to drink quite like looking after young children, I can speak from experience on that. It may be as simple as getting her to seek another "out" from the frustration and angst of being at home with a baby.
Hoink said:
The Beaver King said:
I would avoid focusing on the alcohol and instead talk to her about the underlying problem that is making her turn to drink. Could she be suffering from PND?
Agreed.As said, talk to her about it, but focus on the underlying problem rather than the booze.
Hoink said:
The Beaver King said:
I would avoid focusing on the alcohol and instead talk to her about the underlying problem that is making her turn to drink. Could she be suffering from PND?
Agreed.The PND link sounds possible - seems like a bit of a coincidence, and personally I'd hope that's 'all' it is as that can be sorted out far easier than full blown alcoholism, which has ruined more lives around my family than I care to think about. Good luck.
Benni said:
Alcoholism is a disease.
No, Ill think you will find it is not.its an addiction, like getting addicted to meths, or pot. they are not diseased so they want to smoke or drink, they are addicted.
i get really pissed off when people say that its a disease, as it bloody well isnt, and thats what AA tells you, when it f
king isnt.sorry to go OT but it needed to be said.
Folks...many thanks for your replies...and I appreciate the humour also.... :-)
Certainly there was no drinking during pregnancy and for the few months after the arrival. It just seems to have slipped into the daily routine over the last 6 months.
I'd also say, getting into a state where words are slurred and she's bumping into things only happens once a week at most - so it's not a constant issue as such.
It's the hiding of drink that's the real worry, this was in a sealable plastic beaker, not a baby cup....and I tasted it just incase it was mouthwash or something...but it was definately vodka - mixed with lemonade I think.
I absolutely appreciate that having a baby is an absolute headf*ck....although she goes to her Granny and Grampa on a Thursday and Friday and I obviously share the load at the weekend, so it's not a constant 7 days a week full on workload...although I'm not saying that Mon, Tue, Wed aren't hard work - but there is respite there and I do feel we're lucky to have it - having said all of that I know she's had a hard time adjusting to new life....and it's not been a smooth ride.
I know I need to raise the issue with her and you're right - the all guns blazing approach will just fail badly....I don't nag her about drinking....although I don't drink with the nipper around as I feel there's always the chance you have to jump into the car if she ever takes ill....and I have mentioned this in the past....so maybe there's a guilt thing there...??
God I feel so bad about this....I even took a photo of the vodka bottle in the house before I left to try and figure out if this is going on during the day too...
Certainly there was no drinking during pregnancy and for the few months after the arrival. It just seems to have slipped into the daily routine over the last 6 months.
I'd also say, getting into a state where words are slurred and she's bumping into things only happens once a week at most - so it's not a constant issue as such.
It's the hiding of drink that's the real worry, this was in a sealable plastic beaker, not a baby cup....and I tasted it just incase it was mouthwash or something...but it was definately vodka - mixed with lemonade I think.
I absolutely appreciate that having a baby is an absolute headf*ck....although she goes to her Granny and Grampa on a Thursday and Friday and I obviously share the load at the weekend, so it's not a constant 7 days a week full on workload...although I'm not saying that Mon, Tue, Wed aren't hard work - but there is respite there and I do feel we're lucky to have it - having said all of that I know she's had a hard time adjusting to new life....and it's not been a smooth ride.
I know I need to raise the issue with her and you're right - the all guns blazing approach will just fail badly....I don't nag her about drinking....although I don't drink with the nipper around as I feel there's always the chance you have to jump into the car if she ever takes ill....and I have mentioned this in the past....so maybe there's a guilt thing there...??
God I feel so bad about this....I even took a photo of the vodka bottle in the house before I left to try and figure out if this is going on during the day too...
4key said:
This sealed plastic cup wasnt the sort of thing you could feed an 8 month old from was it?
That occured to me too, you wouldn't want to mix those up!If she is drinking during the day while you are at work it could be a major problem if she's driving too.
Good luck with dealing with this, hopefully she will open up and share with you what is happening rather than deny things and hide her potential problems any further.
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