Americans and manners
Discussion
I've visited the US for work and holidays maybe 50 times or more. I've also visited dozens of other countries around the world.
And one thing continues to amaze me, namely how so many Americans fail to say simple things like please and thank you in public.
On a recent holiday to the Caribbean, I repeatedly overheard Americans bark out orders to serving staff without any polite request or niceties.
As an example, whilst I might say: "Please could I have an omelette with bacon, cheese and onion?" "Yes sir." "Thank you."
The Americans would likely say: "Omelette..... bacon, cheese, onion."
No please, no thank you. Not even a sentence constructed.
Is it cultural?
And one thing continues to amaze me, namely how so many Americans fail to say simple things like please and thank you in public.
On a recent holiday to the Caribbean, I repeatedly overheard Americans bark out orders to serving staff without any polite request or niceties.
As an example, whilst I might say: "Please could I have an omelette with bacon, cheese and onion?" "Yes sir." "Thank you."
The Americans would likely say: "Omelette..... bacon, cheese, onion."
No please, no thank you. Not even a sentence constructed.
Is it cultural?
My observations from maybe 15 trips to the US (all west coast) is that they are some of the politest people I've met! Lots of pleases and generally say thank you for everything!
Ok, so its a bit fake - but I like it.
Oh, that doesnt include cab drivers. They get charged a different tax rate for using niceties I think.
Ok, so its a bit fake - but I like it.
Oh, that doesnt include cab drivers. They get charged a different tax rate for using niceties I think.
Worked with over here (Europe) and visiting the US, very polite and accommodating and interested in where we came from.
But I would not want to be at the end of complaint for poor service etc, no prisoners taken there.
Edit. I should add that when I hear a family in the Beefeater over here complaining to themselves about the steak or whatever and the waitress or waiter asks the usual "every thing OK?" that family will usually smile and say "all OK". Makes me wish they were American. Poor service should be pointed out.
But I would not want to be at the end of complaint for poor service etc, no prisoners taken there.
Edit. I should add that when I hear a family in the Beefeater over here complaining to themselves about the steak or whatever and the waitress or waiter asks the usual "every thing OK?" that family will usually smile and say "all OK". Makes me wish they were American. Poor service should be pointed out.
Edited by jmorgan on Monday 17th December 16:20
Only in the USA: Was held up in a supermarket checkout for 10 minutes as the lady in front didn't have enough funds, so kept asking for items to be taken out her basket and the amount recalculated. When we got through, the checkout girl knocked off $10 from our bill. When we asked why - her answer - company policy. Customers should not have to wait for a checkout so get $1 a minute refunded.
Image that in Tesco - I'd have my shopping paid for in refunds!
Image that in Tesco - I'd have my shopping paid for in refunds!
Complete opposite to my experiences, always had good manners, polite folk, and good customer service. By no means perfect, and I'm sure there's plenty of exceptions, but I've long been of the opinion it's leagues ahead of the UK, especially in the mid-west where it's almost canada levels of pleasantness on a daily basis 
On the other hand every time I come back from the US I'm acutely aware of just how ill-mannered the british public can be when it comes to simple things like getting a thank you when holding a door open for someone - I'm usually more surprised when it happens.
Yes, Americans are a bit more brash and vocal when it comes to complaining about bad service / products, but I much prefer that to meek, suffer-in-silence attitudes so it's never put my nose out.
On the other hand every time I come back from the US I'm acutely aware of just how ill-mannered the british public can be when it comes to simple things like getting a thank you when holding a door open for someone - I'm usually more surprised when it happens.
Yes, Americans are a bit more brash and vocal when it comes to complaining about bad service / products, but I much prefer that to meek, suffer-in-silence attitudes so it's never put my nose out.
BoRED S2upid said:
Never been or am likely to go but I thought they used sir quite a lot or is that just on the films?
Nope, constantly. I hate it Edited by Stu R on Monday 17th December 16:42
grumpyscot said:
Only in the USA: Was held up in a supermarket checkout for 10 minutes as the lady in front didn't have enough funds, so kept asking for items to be taken out her basket and the amount recalculated. When we got through, the checkout girl knocked off $10 from our bill. When we asked why - her answer - company policy. Customers should not have to wait for a checkout so get $1 a minute refunded.
Image that in Tesco - I'd have my shopping paid for in refunds!
Hmm, send your Mum in first to create a fuss. I like your thinking Image that in Tesco - I'd have my shopping paid for in refunds!
I've visted the US, I guess, over 100 times over the years (just back from Tampa and Chicago last week) and I'd say that whilst there are many things wrong with the country, manners isn't one of them.
Compared to the s
t-hole of a country we have to live in, they are typically very polite, pleasant, and a great deal more accommodating than what we have here.
They can be a pain in the arse overseas mind, there's a deal of underserved arrogance often on-hand, and you can understand how many folk end up hating America never having been there.
My best friend is American (lived next door to him in Singapore), and he's a lovely bloke. There's good and bad everywhere.
Compared to the s
t-hole of a country we have to live in, they are typically very polite, pleasant, and a great deal more accommodating than what we have here.They can be a pain in the arse overseas mind, there's a deal of underserved arrogance often on-hand, and you can understand how many folk end up hating America never having been there.
My best friend is American (lived next door to him in Singapore), and he's a lovely bloke. There's good and bad everywhere.
oyster said:
I've visited the US for work and holidays maybe 50 times or more. I've also visited dozens of other countries around the world.
And one thing continues to amaze me, namely how so many Americans fail to say simple things like please and thank you in public.
On a recent holiday to the Caribbean, I repeatedly overheard Americans bark out orders to serving staff without any polite request or niceties.
As an example, whilst I might say: "Please could I have an omelette with bacon, cheese and onion?" "Yes sir." "Thank you."
The Americans would likely say: "Omelette..... bacon, cheese, onion."
No please, no thank you. Not even a sentence constructed.
Is it cultural?
It is cultural, but perhaps not in the way you think. And one thing continues to amaze me, namely how so many Americans fail to say simple things like please and thank you in public.
On a recent holiday to the Caribbean, I repeatedly overheard Americans bark out orders to serving staff without any polite request or niceties.
As an example, whilst I might say: "Please could I have an omelette with bacon, cheese and onion?" "Yes sir." "Thank you."
The Americans would likely say: "Omelette..... bacon, cheese, onion."
No please, no thank you. Not even a sentence constructed.
Is it cultural?
A waiter asked us why Brits said "please" all the time - he said they find it demeaning, as if we're pleading with them for something.
An American will usually say "I'll get the..." or "I'll take the...."
I think it's a class thing - Brits regard waiting staff as servants so don't want to be mean to them. In the US people are more equal.
I have travelled all over the USA and have found Americans to be generally very polite. There are, however, notable regional differences.
Northerners, particularly New Yorkers and Bostonians, can be quite brusque and direct. They also talk fast. They are not being rude, but the pace of life is fast, and they don't have time for small talk or time wasting. The benefit of this is that northerners generally 'say what they mean and mean what they say', a bit like stereotypical Yorkshiremen.
Southerners are a very different breed. They speak very slowly, are ostentatiously polite, everything is "yes sir, yes ma'am" and when they invite y'all to 'have a good day now' they sound like they mean it, even if it's insincere. The potential problem with all this niceness is that southerners are so polite that they can struggle to say what they mean, and speak in code, which can be frustrating when you have to read between the lines.
Northerners, particularly New Yorkers and Bostonians, can be quite brusque and direct. They also talk fast. They are not being rude, but the pace of life is fast, and they don't have time for small talk or time wasting. The benefit of this is that northerners generally 'say what they mean and mean what they say', a bit like stereotypical Yorkshiremen.
Southerners are a very different breed. They speak very slowly, are ostentatiously polite, everything is "yes sir, yes ma'am" and when they invite y'all to 'have a good day now' they sound like they mean it, even if it's insincere. The potential problem with all this niceness is that southerners are so polite that they can struggle to say what they mean, and speak in code, which can be frustrating when you have to read between the lines.
Edited by Bradgate on Monday 17th December 19:50
I travel to the USA frequently and am there now. The only American's I find consistently rude are the TSA agents at the airports. I flew into Miami last Thursday, got to the front of the immigration line and stood about 18 inches from the counter. The TSA 'tt' barked 'back off you're too close' and proceeded to give me a hard time for no obvious reason.
Once through the airport everybody has been great.
t' barked 'back off you're too close' and proceeded to give me a hard time for no obvious reason.Once through the airport everybody has been great.
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