Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[Quickmoose]

MILTON JONES?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

[Jonboy_t]

[mybrainhurts]

Milton Jones...can't you read?

[Vipers]

Two blonds driving to Disneyland, came across a sign saying :-

"Disneyland Left",

They started crying and turned around and drove home.

[monthefish]

Sergeant: "I didn't see you in camouflage practice yesterday, private."
Private: "Thank you Sir."

[mybrainhurts]

Sergeant: "I didn't see you in public relations training yesterday, private."
Private: "fk off, sir."

[marshalla]

monthefish said:

Sergeant: "I didn't see you in camouflage practice yesterday, private."
Private: "Thank you Sir."

Sergeant : "Don't call me Sir. I work for a living".

[monthefish]

mybrainhurts said:

Sergeant: "I didn't see you in public relations training yesterday, private."
Private: "fk off, sir."

[mybrainhurts]

[pincher]

Pincher said:

Milton Jones?

Umm, not sure what happened there - only posted that once. Think the PH iPhone gremlins are in town again!

[mybrainhurts]

No, sorry, don't get it

[Muntu]

On the eve of our anniversary my missus and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex.

Come the morning I awoke first, so I slowly pulled back the covers...

and stuck my cock in her mouth.

[mybrainhurts]

[AyBee]

[Laurel Green]

...and another

[Muntu]

"I love you loads, honeypie." My missus said earlier.
"And I love you tons." I replied.
"What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed.
Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.

[antspants]

Muntu said:

"I love you loads, honeypie." My missus said earlier.
"And I love you tons." I replied.
"What, no nickname for me?" She asked, disappointed.
Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.

[Vipers]

My wife's like a fking animal in all in bed.

Really?

Yes, she is like a fking elephant.







P.S. Don't worry, she doesn't read PH,s thank god. I am safe

[Vaud]

Vipers said:

P.S. Don't worry, she doesn't read PH,s thank god. I am safe

Oh yes I do darling. I've been here for years.

[ChemicalChaos]

Was at the top of the Empire State building when I saw a very attactive girl, so I leaned in and whispered, "Baby I wanna make all your fantasies come true."

She turned to me and whispered back, "Awww that's so sweet. Try not to land on my car...."