Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

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Vipers

32,797 posts

227 months

Saturday 31st January 2015
quotequote all
Watching the "Voice" just now and a contender reminded me of this oldie.

Young girl goes to the doctors for a check up.

Doctor picks up his stethoscope and says "Big breaths"

She says "Yeth, and I'me only sith-teen"




smile

kowalski655

14,599 posts

142 months

Saturday 31st January 2015
quotequote all
Vipers said:
Watching the "Voice" just now and a contender reminded me of this oldie.

Young girl goes to the doctors for a check up.

Doctor picks up his stethoscope and says "Big breaths"

She says "Yeth, and I'me only sith-teen"




smile
The other day my wife had to go to the GP to get checked for a chest infection,and as she was standing in front of me,with the GP listening to her back, I thought of EXACTLY that joke,and could barely contain a fit of giggles biggrin
She was not impressed frown
(Probably one for the "juvenile things that make you snigger thread")

Vipers

32,797 posts

227 months

Saturday 31st January 2015
quotequote all
kowalski655 said:
The other day my wife had to go to the GP to get checked for a chest infection,and as she was standing in front of me,with the GP listening to her back, I thought of EXACTLY that joke,and could barely contain a fit of giggles biggrin
She was not impressed frown
(Probably one for the "juvenile things that make you snigger thread")
OMG yikes your wife's 16 biggrin




smile

Dilligaf10

2,431 posts

209 months

Saturday 31st January 2015
quotequote all
Geraldine McEwen has died...but whodunnit?

kowalski655

14,599 posts

142 months

Saturday 31st January 2015
quotequote all
Vipers said:
kowalski655 said:
The other day my wife had to go to the GP to get checked for a chest infection,and as she was standing in front of me,with the GP listening to her back, I thought of EXACTLY that joke,and could barely contain a fit of giggles biggrin
She was not impressed frown
(Probably one for the "juvenile things that make you snigger thread")
OMG yikes your wife's 16 biggrin




smile
No, but she has big breaths smile

Amused2death

2,491 posts

195 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Did you hear about the psychic midget that robbed a bank?

Now there’s a small medium at large.

ugofirst

263 posts

110 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
"...but whatever you do, just make sure you keep them away from water."

"What, Gremlins?"

"No, Whitney Houston's family."

mart 63

2,068 posts

243 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says,"I think i enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think i have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy."What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours and you mount her from behind.Then you reach around, cup her tits and whisper in her ear,'boy these feel like your sisters.'Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

254 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
rofl

Shaw Tarse

31,543 posts

202 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
rofl
Really?
That joke is almost as old as you!

Laurel Green

30,770 posts

231 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
I arrived home very late last night after a full day of golfing and having a couple of drinks with my chums.

My wife left a message in the kitchen.



RodMod

1,169 posts

207 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
ugofirst said:
"...but whatever you do, just make sure you keep them away from water."

"What, Gremlins?"

"No, Whitney Houston's family."
rofl

Monkeylegend

26,226 posts

230 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Laurel Green said:
I arrived home very late last night after a full day of golfing and having a couple of drinks with my chums.

My wife left a message in the kitchen.


She left you a fruit salad in the fridge?

Laurel Green

30,770 posts

231 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Monkeylegend said:
She left you a fruit salad in the fridge?
I thought it most endearing of her to be looking after my well-being. biggrin

omgus

7,305 posts

174 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
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RodMod said:
ugofirst said:
"...but whatever you do, just make sure you keep them away from water."

"What, Gremlins?"

"No, Whitney Houston's family."
rofl
Harsh but rofl

Funkycoldribena

7,379 posts

153 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Shaw Tarse said:
mybrainhurts said:
rofl
Really?
That joke is almost as old as you!
Seiously,it must of been 1986ish I heard that joke.

fatboy18

18,930 posts

210 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Funkycoldribena said:
Shaw Tarse said:
mybrainhurts said:
rofl
Really?
That joke is almost as old as you!
Seiously,it must of been 1986ish I heard that joke.
Wow You must be old hehe

Funkycoldribena

7,379 posts

153 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
fatboy18 said:
Funkycoldribena said:
Shaw Tarse said:
mybrainhurts said:
rofl
Really?
That joke is almost as old as you!
Seiously,it must of been 1986ish I heard that joke.
Wow You must be old hehe
Watch it sonny...

James P

2,950 posts

236 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Dilligaf10 said:
Geraldine McEwen has died...but whodunnit?
Did she see it coming? [\reddwarf]

Monkeylegend

26,226 posts

230 months

Sunday 1st February 2015
quotequote all
Laurel Green said:
Monkeylegend said:
She left you a fruit salad in the fridge?
I thought it most endearing of her to be looking after my well-being. biggrin
She could at least have turned the banana up the other way wink

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