Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
A man goes into a rather scuzzy pub and there's a sign above the bar "A PINT, A PIE AND A FRIENDLY WORD". So he orders a pie and a pint. The surly barman grunts, takes a cloudy glass, pours a pint and slams the glass down on the bar, spilling some of it. He takes a dusty plate,pulls a grease-laden pie from a hot cabinet and slams it down with a grunt beside the flat pint. The customer looks at the pie and pint and looks at the barman. "How about the friendly word?". The barman removes a fag-end from his lips and says "don't eat the pie".
ker ! 
" I have outlived my pecker."
A Poem
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my pride and joy,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the friggin thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
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