Dialysis, school me.
Discussion
King Herald said:
She's had four mild heart attacks already, didn't phase her in the slightest.
Loads of apologies, promises, regrets.......and a week or two later she was back into the self abuse as normal.
Ah right, then you've pre-empted me there, if she's already had the MI's that I kinda speculated about!Loads of apologies, promises, regrets.......and a week or two later she was back into the self abuse as normal.
Well then, I guess, apart from maybe emailing her what I have written - there's not much more you / me can do for someone so wilful.
So I suppose I'll stop now, not much point in trying to help any more, right?!
Ray Luxury-Yacht said:
Ah right, then you've pre-empted me there, if she's already had the MI's that I kinda speculated about!
Well then, I guess, apart from maybe emailing her what I have written - there's not much more you / me can do for someone so wilful.
So I suppose I'll stop now, not much point in trying to help any more, right?!
After all these years I finally arrived at that conclusion myself. If she won't take any responsibility for herself, I can't bring myself to keep pumping effort and money into her. Thanks for your advice, it has actually given me a few ideas/thoughts, about my own lifestyle. Well then, I guess, apart from maybe emailing her what I have written - there's not much more you / me can do for someone so wilful.
So I suppose I'll stop now, not much point in trying to help any more, right?!
King Herald said:
You weren't far from the truth mate. She soon lapsed back into her old hard-headed arrogant attitude to the whole thing, sneaking about eating anything she wants to and acting ignorant about it if she is found out. Major argument last week between her and the wife over eating platefuls of rice for a meal several times a day, when she KNOWS damn well it is killing her.
"But I like rice" was her answer when she was asked why the hell she did not eat fruit, veggies or any of the other things she KNOWS she should be on. I then caught her ladling sugar into her coffee because "It is tasteless without it"!
I've withdrawn my financial support now, as I threatened to the previous time this sort of argument went down. She's had no dialysis for a week now, had the catheter removed........
Update. Been 6 weeks since her last dialysis and she is still going strong. She still complains all the time, but the wife just lets her do what she wants to now. We have salt back in the house, she can use as much as she wants. She eats anything she feels like, nothing changed there then."But I like rice" was her answer when she was asked why the hell she did not eat fruit, veggies or any of the other things she KNOWS she should be on. I then caught her ladling sugar into her coffee because "It is tasteless without it"!
I've withdrawn my financial support now, as I threatened to the previous time this sort of argument went down. She's had no dialysis for a week now, had the catheter removed........
I'm still away working, two more weeks to go, and I had been hoping so much that it would all be over by the time I got back......
King Herald said:
Update. Been 6 weeks since her last dialysis and she is still going strong. She still complains all the time, but the wife just lets her do what she wants to now. We have salt back in the house, she can use as much as she wants. She eats anything she feels like, nothing changed there then.
I'm still away working, two more weeks to go, and I had been hoping so much that it would all be over by the time I got back......
Bizarre, but not entirely unusual. As I said, I go to lots of patients with health problems, who just don't care, and carry on doing the things that have made them ill.I'm still away working, two more weeks to go, and I had been hoping so much that it would all be over by the time I got back......
Lung cancer patients who continue to smoke. Heavy drinkers with dead liver / pancreas (went to one yesterday actually. Diagnosed with pancreatitis at 26 years old!!!
Which has now given him type 1 diabetes, which he needs to inject insulin for. Still drinking, go figure!!!To be honest, these people need a psycho / social support as well as biological medical support. Half of the problem is psychological.
But the healthcare system STILL doesn't really have decent mental health support for these types of patients. Doctors just want to treat biological health problems, in a 'diagnose - prescribe - treat - fix' manner - and the psychological issue, that is often the root cause, just often kinda gets left to it's own devices.
And.......May 31st and she is still alive and kicking!!!! :O
I woke up today, 6:30 AM, and could smell frying. She's already sizzled up a bunch of fish and rice for breakfast. :shakehead:
We just leave her to it now, totally given up, no more medicines, she is getting bloated, water retention apparently, but still eats and drinks whatever she feels like.
I woke up today, 6:30 AM, and could smell frying. She's already sizzled up a bunch of fish and rice for breakfast. :shakehead:
We just leave her to it now, totally given up, no more medicines, she is getting bloated, water retention apparently, but still eats and drinks whatever she feels like.
Hoofy said:
Not answering your question but I'd pay it because I wouldn't want to see her die but I'd rule her life with an iron fist so she can't happily and continually ruin her health as you've described.
I don't give a s
t if the bloke across the road gets fat - but I would if he then demands I have to pay to stop him from getting ill.
^^^^ ThisI don't give a s
t if the bloke across the road gets fat - but I would if he then demands I have to pay to stop him from getting ill.Spot-On...You pay so you the Boss...
Change the Diet,Habits,whatever...
On a lighter note, there can't be much longer for the Old Gal....ouch, Sorry...
Breakfast today: rice, with sugar sprinkled on. 
I've thrown all the sugar in the bin now. A pointless gesture, I know.
18 years since she was diagnosed as diabetic (at my expense) and she has refused to acknowledge even one piece of advice from any of the venerable medical bodies who have experience with this illness.
Sorry, but I can muster not one molecule of sympathy for this woman, and if she died today I'd not shed a tear. Apart from the fact it is I who will shoulder the funeral expenses no doubt.
I've thrown all the sugar in the bin now. A pointless gesture, I know.
18 years since she was diagnosed as diabetic (at my expense) and she has refused to acknowledge even one piece of advice from any of the venerable medical bodies who have experience with this illness.
Sorry, but I can muster not one molecule of sympathy for this woman, and if she died today I'd not shed a tear. Apart from the fact it is I who will shoulder the funeral expenses no doubt.
King Herald said:
Breakfast today: rice, with sugar sprinkled on.
I've thrown all the sugar in the bin now. A pointless gesture, I know.
18 years since she was diagnosed as diabetic (at my expense) and she has refused to acknowledge even one piece of advice from any of the venerable medical bodies who have experience with this illness.
Sorry, but I can muster not one molecule of sympathy for this woman, and if she died today I'd not shed a tear. Apart from the fact it is I who will shoulder the funeral expenses no doubt.
Well, I feel for your Wife, the Daughter, no Brothers and Sisters to help out and stuck between her Mum and Husband. Can't be easy for her.I've thrown all the sugar in the bin now. A pointless gesture, I know.
18 years since she was diagnosed as diabetic (at my expense) and she has refused to acknowledge even one piece of advice from any of the venerable medical bodies who have experience with this illness.
Sorry, but I can muster not one molecule of sympathy for this woman, and if she died today I'd not shed a tear. Apart from the fact it is I who will shoulder the funeral expenses no doubt.
My Dad died in 2006 and my Brother and Sister didn't really know him in his last few years. I was the only one who bothered to visit and help. He was a proper pisshead. Ex-Submariner for almost 20 years and once he retired from civvy work he just drank himself to death. Other ailments helped him on his way but his own ignorance is what did for him. Just like your M-i-L.
I didn't have the expense that you have. I think over his last 4/5 years i put a tenner every now and again in his electric and fed the Cat and Dog cos he wouldn't do it and did some regular grocery shopping now and again cos he never bothered but it was emotionally draining and worrying.
Your Wife probably feels duty bound to help her Mother as she has been abandoned by other Family members.
A 1 Litre bottle of Lucozade a day is a good and cheap replacement for the Dialysis.
Change of tack. Seeing as she has hung in relentlessly for so many months, when all the odds said she'd be brown bread by now, we've now decided we want her alive for a month or so more. We plan to go to the UK for a fortnight, and need to leave her as 'security' in the house while we're gone. Her sister and our maid will also be there, but it would be better if the old girl were alive and kicking too.
Yes, I know, I'm going straight to hell for this one.
ps. She is eating like a horse now, has put on about 40 lbs, and complains she is 'bloated'.........
Yes, I know, I'm going straight to hell for this one.
ps. She is eating like a horse now, has put on about 40 lbs, and complains she is 'bloated'.........
I just got back from another five week stint offshore, and believe it or not she is still battling away, except now she weighs about 200 lbs!!!! She's huge. All she does is eat, or get the wife or maid to get her something to eat. She complains she can't walk properly, hardly surprising when she is carrying around twice her normal bodyweight!
She lays in her room, does nothing, just calls out every half hour for more coffee, or a drink of water, or for food etc. The wife is in tears of frustration over all this drama, but I've told her it is her own fault as she panders to her mothers every need etc.
If the old witch shouted to ME at six o'clock in the morning that she wanted coffee I'd get her one, then pour it over her fkin head!!!!!!
All she does is eat, or get the wife or maid to get her something to eat. She complains she can't walk properly, hardly surprising when she is carrying around twice her normal bodyweight!She lays in her room, does nothing, just calls out every half hour for more coffee, or a drink of water, or for food etc. The wife is in tears of frustration over all this drama, but I've told her it is her own fault as she panders to her mothers every need etc.
If the old witch shouted to ME at six o'clock in the morning that she wanted coffee I'd get her one, then pour it over her f
kin head!!!!!!She's had years of unmanaged diabetes, because she simply refuses to follow anybody's instructions, doctor, nurses, diabetes experts etc etc.
She'll quite happily have a big plate of boiled rice for breakfast, with Ovaltine sprinkled on it, and just curse and complain if anybody tries to tell her she is doing something wrong.
She'll quite happily have a big plate of boiled rice for breakfast, with Ovaltine sprinkled on it, and just curse and complain if anybody tries to tell her she is doing something wrong.
Oh crikey KH, only just read this... what a horrid situation, not sure I have any sensible suggestions other than leaving her to it really; and that's not exactly an easy thing to do either(!) I'm sure the situation will, err, resolve itself fairly quickly, especially with the more recent weight increase etc.
Other than the obvious.... hope you're well, all good here
Other than the obvious.... hope you're well, all good here
SWH said:
Oh crikey KH, only just read this... what a horrid situation, not sure I have any sensible suggestions other than leaving her to it really; and that's not exactly an easy thing to do either(!) I'm sure the situation will, err, resolve itself fairly quickly, especially with the more recent weight increase etc.
Other than the obvious.... hope you're well, all good here
I'd doing good mate, just a bit pished off to come home after a five weeker to the same old drama and arguments.Other than the obvious.... hope you're well, all good here
I just posted this to the Family group on Facebook, petty I know, but it made me feel better, with some of the in-laws who are comfortably detached from the situation passing criticism on us.
"Wanted: Home for vindictive, arrogant, selfish, bitter old lady.
We've looked after her for nearly 20 years, spent a fortune on her health, taken her to a dozen different diabetes doctors and specialists, and she has ignored everyone of them. We've done all this because we thought we were doing the right thing, but now we have just about had a gut full of her.
Earlier this year we spent well over $1000 on yet another session of medical care, followed by two months of dialysis, at $300 a week, but she just ignored all advice and carried on eating like a pig. So I withdrew my financial support....
Everybody tells her she is lucky to have us, and I'm sure of that, because nobody else wants her!
My wife has recently received some good old fashioned 'guilt tripping' from a relative over this whole thing, so enough is enough, it is time for someone else in the Rxxxxxxs family to step up to the plate and take over, to carry on with this grand old Filipino tradition of looking after family! After nearly twenty years of it, I have had enough of Cxxxxxa Rxxxxxxs!"
Well, it is all over, she died yesterday morning. A phone call, a collection a visit to the crematorium and it was all over within 8 hours.
I nearly shed a tear myself, at a life wasted by a bitter and vindictive women.
She was never married, and I can understand why considering her attitude for the 19 years I've known her.
She lived with us in England for five years, she also visited the USA for six months, but everywhere she went she pissed people off and caused ructions by opening her gob and stuffing her nose into other peoples business. We gave her the opportunities to be happy, and healthy, but I get the feeling she just preferred to be miserable.
I nearly shed a tear myself, at a life wasted by a bitter and vindictive women.
She was never married, and I can understand why considering her attitude for the 19 years I've known her.
She lived with us in England for five years, she also visited the USA for six months, but everywhere she went she pissed people off and caused ructions by opening her gob and stuffing her nose into other peoples business. We gave her the opportunities to be happy, and healthy, but I get the feeling she just preferred to be miserable.
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