Is my joint being cased?

Is my joint being cased?

Author
Discussion

MikeOxlong

3,112 posts

188 months

Monday 14th April 2014
quotequote all
The best way to settle it is wait for them to come back and then walk over to the car in a friendly non threatening way and once you can see their faces draw a sawn off shotgun and give them both barrels at close range. Don't forget to display their heads on your new security post as a warning to the others.

They might be dominoes leafletters stopping off for a fag break, but they might also be hardened criminals who are waiting for their opportunity to strike. Best make sure you strike first.

matthias73

2,883 posts

149 months

Monday 14th April 2014
quotequote all
MikeOxlong said:
The best way to settle it is wait for them to come back and then walk over to the car in a friendly non threatening way and once you can see their faces draw a sawn off shotgun and give them both barrels at close range. Don't forget to display their heads on your new security post as a warning to the others.

They might be dominoes leafletters stopping off for a fag break, but they might also be hardened criminals who are waiting for their opportunity to strike. Best make sure you strike first.
You're still quite new to this aren't you?
You shoot them in the neck. Not only does that make the head easier to remove (if its not already off) it means you don't spoil their faces. You want their friends to recognise them.

But the general idea is spot on!

ShampooEfficient

4,266 posts

210 months

Monday 14th April 2014
quotequote all
MikeOxlong said:
The best way to settle it is wait for them to come back and then walk over to the car in a friendly non threatening way and once you can see their faces draw a sawn off shotgun and give them both barrels at close range. Don't forget to display their heads on your new security post as a warning to the others.

They might be dominoes leafletters stopping off for a fag break, but they might also be hardened criminals who are waiting for their opportunity to strike. Best make sure you strike first.
Shoot first. If anyone asks any questions, shoot them as well.

mattshiz

461 posts

140 months

Monday 14th April 2014
quotequote all
matthias73 said:
You're still quite new to this aren't you?
You shoot them in the neck. Not only does that make the head easier to remove (if its not already off) it means you don't spoil their faces. You want their friends to recognise them.

But the general idea is spot on!
then once the heads off you can hammer sausages into their neck?

matthias73

2,883 posts

149 months

Monday 14th April 2014
quotequote all
rofl

Can we organise a PH lounge meetup at some sort of pub? It has potential to be the most hilarious get together ever, except none of the other patrons will have a clue as to why we are laughing

Wheat

505 posts

129 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
matthias73 said:
rofl

Can we organise a PH lounge meetup at some sort of pub? It has potential to be the most hilarious get together ever, except none of the other patrons will have a clue as to why we are laughing
It wouldn't work. We would all be sitting there in silence wondering why we have met a load of internet geeks in a pub. And then the realisation that you were one of them would slowly dawn on you and eventually everyone would be crying into their pints. So it would go from being a socially awkward pint into a support session.

Patch1875

4,893 posts

131 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
Remember it's BOGOF at dominos on Tuesdays.

Slobberchops

3,619 posts

200 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
Go to Dominos and see if they can identify the people or car.

jshell

11,006 posts

204 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
272BHP said:
By the way my wife thinks I am getting paranoid in my old age and this possibility has also crossed my mind!
1. You place is being cased.
2. Your wife, like most women seems to have very little in-built sense of safety or security. They (mostly) cruise through life until it all goes completely sideways. Then they'll blame you.*


  • I once took my wife to the side in an Italian railway station and asked her to look around. It was only when pointed out to her that she started to see some of the mega-dodgy bds that were hanging around and taking a lot of 'casual' interest in the other travellers.

Actus Reus

4,229 posts

154 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
Slobberchops said:
Go to Dominos and see if they can identify the people or car.
That's a bit sensible.

Go to Dominos and kill all of the staff.

BTW has the OP posted this morning? I fear he is waiting for SOCO to turn up to dust for prints. Tony Stamp is probably there in the area car as I write.

Wheat

505 posts

129 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
Rather than a PH pub meet, we should really all go around to the OPs house and help him out. A couple of us hide in the boot of the S3. A couple of us hide in Rexs kennel. A couple behind the door. In his bed. Behind the curtains. Disguised as a garden gnome.

And when the scammers do try and rob his car we'll be ready for them. We'll give them a stern talking to and send them on their way.

We could film it and become national heroes/ arrested.

captainzep

13,305 posts

191 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
Actus Reus said:
That's a bit sensible.

Go to Dominos and kill all of the staff.
Careful now: http://www.cambrian-news.co.uk/news/i/38696/

HereBeMonsters

14,180 posts

181 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
jshell said:
* I once took my wife to the side in an Italian railway station...
Dirty boy.

SpeckledJim

31,608 posts

252 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
HereBeMonsters said:
jshell said:
* I once took my wife to the side in an Italian railway station...
Dirty boy.
When in Rome...

cjb1

2,000 posts

150 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
Roverload said:
Put a cougar or some other big cat your wife in the car at night.
Now, let's not get silly....
If I put my wife in the car I'd fear for the poor buggers casing the joint, she's like a bulldog chewing a wasp!

jshell

11,006 posts

204 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
SpeckledJim said:
HereBeMonsters said:
jshell said:
* I once took my wife to the side in an Italian railway station...
Dirty boy.
When in Rome...
Hey, whaaaaat? biglaugh

HereBeMonsters

14,180 posts

181 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
I do agree with your point about women being generally more clueless. I quite regularly have to point out to women (it is ALWAYS women) on the train/tube that their bag is wide open, allowing me to see their iPhone, purse, work badge, address book, whatever. And only around 50% of the time do I actually get thanks for doing this. The others I get variously called “nosy” increasing to “what? You tellin’ me you’re gonna nick my phone are ya?” rolleyes

jshell

11,006 posts

204 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
HereBeMonsters said:
“what? You tellin’ me you’re gonna nick my phone are ya?” rolleyes
I've had exactly this, and it p1sses me right off! Just let them get on with it, there'll be a guy somewhere to pick up the pieces... wink

272BHP

Original Poster:

4,960 posts

235 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
No further dodgy events to report I am afraid, although I have got builders working on the house so its unlikely anything would occur anyway. I did notice that a neighbour in the next street down has just acquired a Aston Martin DB9 so hopefully I have just been knocked down the pecking order of potential targets.

Complete absence of children playing outside as well for last 2 days, unusual as its half term - perhaps they have all heard about the grumpy old bd at No 5.

4G63T

2,947 posts

171 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
quotequote all
HereBeMonsters said:
I do agree with your point about women being generally more clueless. I quite regularly have to point out to women (it is ALWAYS women) on the train/tube that their bag is wide open, allowing me to see their iPhone, purse, work badge, address book, whatever. And only around 50% of the time do I actually get thanks for doing this. The others I get variously called “nosy” increasing to “what? You tellin’ me you’re gonna nick my phone are ya?” rolleyes
you should tell them in a sarcastic manner, something along the lines of "I am only telling you your phone is visible and easily stolen because you have left your bag wide open, much like your legs no doubt,"

don't forget to add a big Belm face to her afterwards for added effect