Are all children annoying?
Discussion
PugwasHDJ80 said:
wow- so you stop being a mate because one of your friends has done something entirely normal. That's pretty self absorbed.
Never said I stopped being a mate. I find the whole pregnancy thing unpleasant, always have done and so don't wish to put myself and them in that situation. My mates are my mates, they understand my feelings about it and are happy with it, or they wouldn't be my mates. We meet up without the children in tow, and are far happier to do so as they get away from the children for a few hours. Win Win.
Jeez, GCC aka Middle East - I thought PHers were meant to know everything
or are you just playing stupid..?
Joey Ramone said:
..
I spend time in the company of a near neighbour's 9 year old boy (she's a friend of my wife and recently separated so we go round to say hello and see that she's ok) and me and the kid always have a laugh as I'm conscious that his dad doesn't appear to give two s
ts about him. But fk me, the amount of attention he craves/requires is absolutely staggering. And he simply cannot sit or stand still. So within about an hour I've simply had enough and want to leave. The thought of having two of him in my house for 18 years would give me an embolism.
This is part of the problem. The attention requirements (always when I am trying to do something else). The inability to sit still. The worryingly small attention span. The being 'bored' despite having sI spend time in the company of a near neighbour's 9 year old boy (she's a friend of my wife and recently separated so we go round to say hello and see that she's ok) and me and the kid always have a laugh as I'm conscious that his dad doesn't appear to give two s
ts about him. But fk me, the amount of attention he craves/requires is absolutely staggering. And he simply cannot sit or stand still. So within about an hour I've simply had enough and want to leave. The thought of having two of him in my house for 18 years would give me an embolism.t loads of stuff to do. Then the fact that they are never tired when they're meant to be (bedtime), especially now it's school holidays - kids seem to be allowed to stay up later but they still wake up around 7-8am, ready to start annoying the adults again. Not sure how I'm going to cope with this without blowing my lid but I am trying my hardest.
Shaolin said:
So the OP is in a parental role and comes on here to complain about the lack of parenting and its results on a child he is in a position to parent, hmmmm.....
Well, I see what you're getting at. Truth is, I really have no idea what I'm doing and it's really fking difficult. I guess it's no different to being a new parent though, except the fact that the kid in question isn't mine and I wasn't there for the first 6-7 years of his life. Acehood said:
Joey Ramone said:
..
I spend time in the company of a near neighbour's 9 year old boy (she's a friend of my wife and recently separated so we go round to say hello and see that she's ok) and me and the kid always have a laugh as I'm conscious that his dad doesn't appear to give two sts about him. But fk me, the amount of attention he craves/requires is absolutely staggering. And he simply cannot sit or stand still. So within about an hour I've simply had enough and want to leave. The thought of having two of him in my house for 18 years would give me an embolism.
This is part of the problem. The attention requirements (always when I am trying to do something else). The inability to sit still. The worryingly small attention span. The being 'bored' despite having sI spend time in the company of a near neighbour's 9 year old boy (she's a friend of my wife and recently separated so we go round to say hello and see that she's ok) and me and the kid always have a laugh as I'm conscious that his dad doesn't appear to give two s
ts about him. But fk me, the amount of attention he craves/requires is absolutely staggering. And he simply cannot sit or stand still. So within about an hour I've simply had enough and want to leave. The thought of having two of him in my house for 18 years would give me an embolism.t loads of stuff to do. Then the fact that they are never tired when they're meant to be (bedtime), especially now it's school holidays - kids seem to be allowed to stay up later but they still wake up around 7-8am, ready to start annoying the adults again. Not sure how I'm going to cope with this without blowing my lid but I am trying my hardest.
As for kids not getting tired, they do get tired however many don't have a routine; routine is what is needed. They need to come home from school, have a bit of down time, maybe watch a small amount of TV or play by themselves, have dinner, have a bath, have a cuddle with mum and dad and a chat about their day and off to bed at a reasonable time with a story.
Now they get home from their club late, they have got through their tiredness as they have had a quick nap in the car, a quick bath, plonked infront of the TV whilst mum is cobbling some cheap and easy crap together for dinner, they eat dinner whilst watching the TV and they end up plonked in bed at about 8:30-9:00 and buzzing from watching telly and eating late.
All that I have written is my sister and many others that I know of.
Acehood said:
they still wake up around 7-8am
ooh, a lie in. Mine normally turn up about 6am in summer (winter is better) this is regardless of what time they went to bed but it's typically 7-7.30. They will get to watch cbeebies or play a game on the ipad for up to an hour when the breakfast routine starts.
Routine is definitely king alongside a consistent and fair approach (no means no) and balance. We decided that it was one regular activity per child per week (outside of nursery time) the boy does swimming and the girl does rugby. From September football is added to the lads activities but he really wants to do it and we want him to swim (important life skill).
My wife would over stimulate them, I tell them to just go play and they do. Having two helps as they will play with each other.
Acehood said:
Shaolin said:
So the OP is in a parental role and comes on here to complain about the lack of parenting and its results on a child he is in a position to parent, hmmmm.....
Well, I see what you're getting at. Truth is, I really have no idea what I'm doing and it's really fking difficult. I guess it's no different to being a new parent though, except the fact that the kid in question isn't mine and I wasn't there for the first 6-7 years of his life. It also sounds like you may have different standards or expectations to your partner regarding behaviour, you'll have to come to some kind of agreement on this or it will be clear you are not united. Kids actually like boundaries and limits as long as they aren't too limiting, they make them feel safe and secure, this doesn't mean they won't try to push at the boundaries though.
Agree with the post above about kids wanting entertaining all the time, though this is largely down to expectations set by the parents.
Shaolin said:
How supportive is your partner of your role as parent? This is the most important thing. if she undermines you or doesn't back you up, you have no chance. The child will try to play you off against each other, all kids try this to some degree, without clear support from your partner the child will get his/her own way. The child didn't choose you to be in his/her life unlike your partner did, so you'll have to win them over. Do you spend time together away from Mum? I'd suggest this to start with, a short trip out, to the shops, pick-up/drop-off at school for e.g.
It also sounds like you may have different standards or expectations to your partner regarding behaviour, you'll have to come to some kind of agreement on this or it will be clear you are not united. Kids actually like boundaries and limits as long as they aren't too limiting, they make them feel safe and secure, this doesn't mean they won't try to push at the boundaries though.
Agree with the post above about kids wanting entertaining all the time, though this is largely down to expectations set by the parents.
Many a wise word in this post.It also sounds like you may have different standards or expectations to your partner regarding behaviour, you'll have to come to some kind of agreement on this or it will be clear you are not united. Kids actually like boundaries and limits as long as they aren't too limiting, they make them feel safe and secure, this doesn't mean they won't try to push at the boundaries though.
Agree with the post above about kids wanting entertaining all the time, though this is largely down to expectations set by the parents.
Shaolin said:
How supportive is your partner of your role as parent? This is the most important thing. if she undermines you or doesn't back you up, you have no chance. The child will try to play you off against each other, all kids try this to some degree, without clear support from your partner the child will get his/her own way. The child didn't choose you to be in his/her life unlike your partner did, so you'll have to win them over. Do you spend time together away from Mum? I'd suggest this to start with, a short trip out, to the shops, pick-up/drop-off at school for e.g.
It also sounds like you may have different standards or expectations to your partner regarding behaviour, you'll have to come to some kind of agreement on this or it will be clear you are not united. Kids actually like boundaries and limits as long as they aren't too limiting, they make them feel safe and secure, this doesn't mean they won't try to push at the boundaries though.
Agree with the post above about kids wanting entertaining all the time, though this is largely down to expectations set by the parents.
Very supportive although there are some areas that we disagree on. We've discussed it a lot but perhaps it needs to be looked at again. It also sounds like you may have different standards or expectations to your partner regarding behaviour, you'll have to come to some kind of agreement on this or it will be clear you are not united. Kids actually like boundaries and limits as long as they aren't too limiting, they make them feel safe and secure, this doesn't mean they won't try to push at the boundaries though.
Agree with the post above about kids wanting entertaining all the time, though this is largely down to expectations set by the parents.
As far as I know, 'the child' does like me and I have made an effort to do things with just us. For the record, his behaviour is almost perfect when it's just us two. Introduce another adult and it's a different story...
Acehood said:
For the record, his behaviour is almost perfect when it's just us two. Introduce another adult and it's a different story...
I recognise that to some degree. Our two boys (grown up now) would sometimes say/do things when another adult was around that they wouldn't do if they weren't. We would not make a fuss at the time, though not ignore it, and then raise the issue afterwards when third party had gone.The main thing about being a parent is it's relentless, you can't have a day off while the child is around.
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