Sex Excuse Spreadsheet

[Fishtigua]

A husband has made an Excel spreadsheet of all his wife's excuses for not having sex. She, apparently, is not too chuffed by this.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10979...

[GAjon]

You wouldn't want to shag her, when she wasn't spewing up she stunk!

[Atmospheric]

To be fair, I can see why he did it, but not sure he should have done it.

But to be honest excuses like that would mean I'm out as well. Slippery slope IMO

[G0ldfysh]

Still he saved himself the effort of asking anymore.
him: Shall we have sex?
her: After that excel spreadsheet? No chance!!!

Following day
him: Shall we have sex?
her: See yesterday

And repeat until
a) they can both laugh about it,
b) never.

I'm betting on option (b)

[Torquey]

I hope he sent that as he knew there was no resolution to the situation and was leaving her for good.

[ajcj]

G0ldfysh said:

Still he saved himself the effort of asking anymore.
him: Shall we have sex?
her: After that excel spreadsheet? No chance!!!

Following day
him: Shall we have sex?
her: See yesterday

And repeat until
a) they can both laugh about it,
b) never.

I'm betting on option (b)

Well, if you're wanting to raise an issue about lack of intimacy in a relationship, there might be better ways to do it. But he certainly got her attention.

[Cotty]

Torquey said:

I hope he sent that as he knew there was no resolution to the situation and was leaving her for good.

Im assuming that as well. I see a divorse in the future.

[Cliftonite]

Three successes in one month? Lucky sod!

[GreenDog]

Cliftonite said:

Three successes in one month? Lucky sod!

Exactly, he wasn't complaining, he was showing off !

[Jim the Sunderer]

She eats too much.

[lufbramatt]

So she went to the gym, then got in bed without showering?

either she wasn't at the gym or she's an utter skank.

[Jezzerh]

Don't know what the big deal is tbh, just wait until she's asleep and jump on, no excuses, no spreadsheet.

I guess you could say he couldn't get her to 'spread' under the 'sheets'.

Sorry.

[bigandclever]

"I'm still a bit tender from yesterday"

I bet. INSERT COLUMN. INSERT COLUMN. INSERTINSERTINSERT IIIINSEEEERRT COLLLLUUUUMMMN!!

[mjb1]

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. I gave up asking years ago.

Perhaps he should have tried responding to her rebuttals with "well you won't mind if I just lie here and have a wk then"!

[Pique]

bigandclever said:

"I'm still a bit tender from yesterday"

I bet. INSERT COLUMN. INSERT COLUMN. INSERTINSERTINSERT IIIINSEEEERRT COLLLLUUUUMMMN!!

Worst 'my knob is so big she still hurts the next day' spreadsheet ever

[Ki3r]

mjb1 said:

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. I gave up asking years ago.

Perhaps he should have tried responding to her rebuttals with "well you won't mind if I just lie here and have a wk then"!

Pretty much what I did with my ex! (Although fairly recently, oops!). She didn't want it, so decided to have a wk to a video she had sent me laying next to her xD.

[crazy about cars]

Poor effort. Where's the data validation? Conditional formatting? Didnt even auto resize columns FFS!

[Moonhawk]

G0ldfysh said:

Still he saved himself the effort of asking anymore.
him: Shall we have sex?
her: After that excel spreadsheet? No chance!!!

Following day
him: Shall we have sex?
her: See yesterday

And repeat until............

At least he could write a formula to handle that.

=$C$33

copy paste down the rest of the column.

[The_Burg]

Suspect he still got more than the true average.

[Carthage]

It's as if she's been trying to tell him something...