rant - Mayonnaise WTF!!!

[Swervin_Mervin]

AA999 said:

Its been a few days since my 'mayo' encounter and I'm still getting hot under the collar about it.

Completely with you. Bought a beef and horseradish baguette from Waitrose last week. Checked it for signs of mayo - none visible and nothing to suggest it's there in the ingredient (which were scant to be fair).

It wasn't horseradish It was horseradish mayo - with not much horseradish

[viggyp]

I was just chatting to someone about this a few days back. I work in Victoria and there's a bakery which has stacks of baguettes in the window.............and everything has mayo. Mayo on this, mayo on that. I don't want a Chicken Tikka baguette with bloody mayo.

Regarding Mayo and chips! No thanks, ketchup or HP brown is my preference.

I needed to share

[PurpleTurtle]

I'm with the OP, I absolutely despise mayonnaise, it's the Devil's jizz!

Added to pre-prepped sandwiches as a way of making them appear moist and therefore fresh. The smell of the stuff turns my stomach. M&S and Boots have a small selection of non-mayo sandwiches, I salute them for it.

[zygalski]

Chips 'n mayo.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

[Shaolin]

yellowjack said:

And what the hell is going on when you walk into a cafe or restaurant and ask for mayo and they say "we don't got none of that"?

I agree it would be intolerable. You need to dine at establishments with a better command of the English language.

[soad]

zygalski said:

Chips 'n mayo.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

And Champagne to wash it down.

[vx220]

PurpleTurtle said:

I'm with the OP, I absolutely despise mayonnaise, it's the Devil's jizz!

.
Actaully, I think if you check either "How To Be A Complete bd" or "bds Book of the Worst" you'll find that "butter is the devils spunk"

IIRC it was an advert from the Margarine Marketing Board

[mybrainhurts]

vx220 said:

mybrainhurts said:

Well, at least we got in several posts before Americanese reared its ugly head.

It's mayonnaise, you 'tard...

Surely no difference in abbreviating "mayo" or "'tard"

Although you are less likely to upset someone with "mayo"

Rubbish...'tard is a word in its own right. And it has an apostrophe. So there...

[jogon]

Can't stand the stuff either along with tomato ketchup and most other sauces.

Pret seems to be the only place out of all the chains that does a smoke salmon sandwich with no mayo.

[Arun_D]

No no, mayo is great. More please.

[zygalski]

Especially homemade, so long as you don't use olive oil!

[Simes110]

Mayonnaise, like all condiments, has its place.

And, mostly, shop sourced mayonnaise is nothing like homemade. Hellmans... no thank-you.

Now, until recently, I despised this stuff. But after living in Australia for a while where mayonnaise is served with fries, I got to appreciate its finer points and rather like it with a well-cooked portion.

Burgers, too. Good burgers, mind. But I also like good tomato ketchup with it. A sort of mayonnaise / tomato combination where one compliments the other without dominating the beef patty.

Sandwiches? No. Hateful. Salads? Mildly tolerable but preferably not. In moderation, yes. Not dolloped.

[RobGT81]

The Swedes have it right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2s0aOhkjmY

[TONKA2]

I would substitute salad cream for mayonnaise every time, tuna or chicken sandwiches are infinitely better with salad cream, however I am very partial to chips with plenty salt and lashings of mayonnaise.

[Zod]

zygalski said:

Especially homemade, so long as you don't use olive oil!

What do you use then? Vegetable oil?

My kids love mayonnaise with chips. I don't Aioli for me. (yes, I do know it's just mayonnaise with garlic)

[zygalski]

I use sunflower oil.
Olive oil gives the mayo a very bitter, overpowering flavour. Even if you don't use extra virgin.

[AA999]

Hey !!...this is not a thread to discuss how to make the devil's spuff better for yourselves!!
I'd like to be reading how to remove this total bio-hazard white cream anal waste from the shops so that normal people can have a choice to not make our taste buds come within half a mile of it.

[TheAngryDog]

I fking hate mayonnaise. Tesco do a few sandwiches that does not have it on called just chicken or just ham, but the smaller stores dint always stock it.

It's discrimination when sandwich shops only sell sandwiches with mayonnaise. Why do they think that everyone likes the st stuff? It is absolutely fking disgusting. Like eating rat st.

It pissed it me off recently when I ordered a takaway delivery for a piri-piri burger sans mayonnaise. When it and the rest of the order turned up some 1 hour later it was swimming in the st. I called the take away establishment up and vented my spleen. Their excuse? Sorry mate, it's been a busy night. Too fking busy to write down No fking mayonnaise. Bunch of fking s!!!

And then my replacement bird st mayonnaise free burger arrived another hour later, when I'd eaten the rest of my food. It turned up just in time for me to go to bed! Fast food it was not.

s. Mayonnaise, fk off you st!!

[soad]

Frankly, I'm fking disgusted by how many variations of this fking dodgy-looking stuff exists - Real, Light, Reduced Fat, Thick & Creamy, Extra Light, French Style, Chilli, Mustard, Garlic, Lemon, Black Pepper. There's more...

[AA999]

^^^ .... now we're back 'on song' ... more of the above please


(feeling better that I'm not alone in my hate against this stuff)