Staying calm on the road
Discussion
I have a 20 mile commute on roads that are generally hellish (M25 and M3 in rush hour). I'd be the one in the procession in lane 3 getting annoyed that I couldn't do more than 45, and yelling that lane 1 was empty and why couldn't people drive. I'd be the one vigorously defending my position in a queue in case someone had the audacity to pull in front. I was stressed and angry and the problem with this, apart from the damage it does to your wellbeing, is that there are a hell of a lot of others on the roads with the same attitude. When two meet, that's when coffee beans, verbal abuse and sometimes worse happen.
The thing that did it for me was witnessing a full blown fight break out on an M25 slip road a few weeks ago. The usual story - right lane queued for 400 yds, left lane (left turn only) empty. One clever dick comes up the left lane, then at the last minute decides to try and cut in ahead of the car in front of me.
To his misfortune, the car he has chosen to cut in front of is driven by someone just like him, and who is having none of it. As the queue stutters forward, neither yield to the point where both cars end up trying to occupy the same space at the same time, and paintwork is exchanged. Car doors are flung open and the effing and jeffing starts. Suddenly the "victim" puts a beautiful right hook on the queue jumper, knocking him backwards over his car bonnet to lie out cold in the road. Gets in his car and drives off. Thinking they both deserved each other, I drive off too.
Something about this episode finally nailed a suspicion in my mind that I was doing myself no favours. So I slowed down.
I now amble along with the HGVs in lane 1 and let the tailgating procession in 2 and 3 get on with it. And you know what, my 20 miles takes maybe 2 minutes longer than it did.
If someone queue jumps as per the M25 scenario above, and cuts their way in, I don't care. I let them. It's gained them 2 metres. I hope they do something worthwhile with the 2 seconds they've saved.
I haven't so much as raised my voice in the car for 2 weeks. I am happier and more relaxed. I no longer dread my journey.
I'm getting 15 mpg more (not that I care)
The trick is to stop seeing road situations as a personal victory/loss. So you get in front of someone - so what. So someone gets in front of you - big deal! That was the key for me. It's hard given how thoroughly unpleasant the roads are today, particularly anywhere in the vicinity of London in rush hour, but you almost have to remove yourself from it, and stop caring. If it means a steady 40 instead of a blood boiling combination of 80, and random emergency stops, so what.
The thing that did it for me was witnessing a full blown fight break out on an M25 slip road a few weeks ago. The usual story - right lane queued for 400 yds, left lane (left turn only) empty. One clever dick comes up the left lane, then at the last minute decides to try and cut in ahead of the car in front of me.
To his misfortune, the car he has chosen to cut in front of is driven by someone just like him, and who is having none of it. As the queue stutters forward, neither yield to the point where both cars end up trying to occupy the same space at the same time, and paintwork is exchanged. Car doors are flung open and the effing and jeffing starts. Suddenly the "victim" puts a beautiful right hook on the queue jumper, knocking him backwards over his car bonnet to lie out cold in the road. Gets in his car and drives off. Thinking they both deserved each other, I drive off too.
Something about this episode finally nailed a suspicion in my mind that I was doing myself no favours. So I slowed down.
I now amble along with the HGVs in lane 1 and let the tailgating procession in 2 and 3 get on with it. And you know what, my 20 miles takes maybe 2 minutes longer than it did.
If someone queue jumps as per the M25 scenario above, and cuts their way in, I don't care. I let them. It's gained them 2 metres. I hope they do something worthwhile with the 2 seconds they've saved.
I haven't so much as raised my voice in the car for 2 weeks. I am happier and more relaxed. I no longer dread my journey.
I'm getting 15 mpg more (not that I care)
The trick is to stop seeing road situations as a personal victory/loss. So you get in front of someone - so what. So someone gets in front of you - big deal! That was the key for me. It's hard given how thoroughly unpleasant the roads are today, particularly anywhere in the vicinity of London in rush hour, but you almost have to remove yourself from it, and stop caring. If it means a steady 40 instead of a blood boiling combination of 80, and random emergency stops, so what.
Nerfbat said:
I find I'm calmer since getting a Jag - wafting about in comfort with radio 4 on makes life less stressful..
This is very true.I used to use the M6 fairly regularly, and I remember the first time driving it in a Jaguar S-Type, and the change to my temperament was remarkable.
Behaviour of others that would have previously wound me up, I was able to simply ignore and rise above it.
interloper said:
Willy Nilly said:
PaulG40 said:
On my 22 mile weekly commute from Lincolnshire to Hampshire, I always know the certain sections that are going to irritate me. The 40mpher in a 60 NSL, always gets me. I don't mind a 50mpher but a 40er just seems to take forever. Trying to time the drive to avoid certain bottle necks helps too. M25 is, well...
Has Hampshire moved?
Wish there was a worm hole.
Route home Friday morning is going to be A33, M4, M404, M40 - A43 - M1 - A46, leaving at 6am, so pretty much hitting all the bottlenecks at peak times. DOH!Edited by PaulG40 on Wednesday 23 July 16:19
otispunkmeyer said:
for me, I used to just set cruise to 60-65 and then sit in the first lane. Let all the idiots get on with it. Invariably I'd be home about the same time anyway and I'd be more relaxed.
Crafty_ said:
Its worth doing this once in a while and just watching what goes on around you, the desperate struggle to get out to lane 3, which n doing so actually slows them all down, cars darting in to small spaces during lane changes, traffic bunching up, tailgating, fists being shaken and so on.
Meanwhile you just roll along, windows down, warm breeze coming through the car, the occasional overtake of a slow lorry.. all that hassle to arrive a few minutes earlier (at best).
I tried this yesterday on the way home from work (M27, Hedge End towards Chichester). I was there mozying along at about 65-70ish in the non-overtaking lane (I forget the lane number order). Meanwhile you just roll along, windows down, warm breeze coming through the car, the occasional overtake of a slow lorry.. all that hassle to arrive a few minutes earlier (at best).
Being the observant chap I am, I'm scanning the mirrors to see what's behind me - I notice a Mercedes tailgating a 3-series in the right hand lane.
Wanting to observe the idiocy, I backed off a smidge down to 60ish (nothing behind me to hold up). As they both got ahead of me, the Mercedes does a tight undertake, almost hitting the front of the BMW on the return - then creates a gap, brake checks the BMW, gives the coffee bean shake out the window and zooms off to tailgate someone else.
I'm not sure if the BMW did anything initially to antagonise the Merc driver, but I don't get how people can get so pissed off that they do stuff like that. Usually I mutter a few words under my breath and carry on as I was if someone is being a dick.
Oh and staying calm in the car? I tend to listen to Jack FM's finest music and put the temperature to about 16 degrees.
Motorrad said:
Many inner city drivers here seem to overcome the problem by smoking weed. Makes my bike commute more interesting as they seem to have impaired spacial awareness.
"Love London, Go Dutch"?I usually find I'm more annoyed by things that I don't predict. The side effect (for me) of successfully predicting bad behaviour is unbearable smugness, but on the whole I'd rather be smug than enraged.
I must admit I do find it hard to get along in heavy motorway traffic however, where leaving any gap in an attempt to be smooth results in someone pulling infront of you - so you have to either accept permanently going backwards, or driving like a t
t to ensure said gap never arises.I actually found that buying a less aggresive car helped a lot. Now I have a cabrio with a slushbox and I don't feel the need to be so competitive about it anymore as I'm just enjoying the open air so much.
It's still decently quick enough for UK roads, but the frustration has gone.
I would also recommend doing lots of track days - that's a good method.
It's still decently quick enough for UK roads, but the frustration has gone.
I would also recommend doing lots of track days - that's a good method.
Just leave plenty of space around your car and use good observation. It's quite easy to read other drivers and identify the ones who are aggressive and impatient and the ones who are dithery and incompetent before they actually do something downright stupid. Look ahead and behind and identify anyone tailgating and getting twitchy looking for overtakes and anyone using poor anticipation and road positioning and constantly dabbing their brakes. When you're ready for someone doing something stupid it doesn't take you by surprise and shock you when they do. You've anticipated it and allowed time and room to react to it so the danger is reduced and you haven't suddenly got that primeval fight or flight instinct that comes from being presented with a threat out of nowhere.
Having a powerful car helps as well because it's not only smooth and relaxing but, driven responsibly rather than being used to accelerate you into trouble, it gives you more options to get away from problems. You don't have to be a shrinking violet afraid to make a bit of progress through the traffic and, if anyone is inclined to try and play games with you, you can be out of their way before they've noticed you're there.
Remember as well that you've probably been the cocky teenager and the person who's faffing around a bit lost and the person making a rather ill timed lane change and none of it was meant with any malicious intent towards other motorists. So, as someone said above, don't take it as a personal slight against you when someone else does something a little questionable on the road.
Having a powerful car helps as well because it's not only smooth and relaxing but, driven responsibly rather than being used to accelerate you into trouble, it gives you more options to get away from problems. You don't have to be a shrinking violet afraid to make a bit of progress through the traffic and, if anyone is inclined to try and play games with you, you can be out of their way before they've noticed you're there.
Remember as well that you've probably been the cocky teenager and the person who's faffing around a bit lost and the person making a rather ill timed lane change and none of it was meant with any malicious intent towards other motorists. So, as someone said above, don't take it as a personal slight against you when someone else does something a little questionable on the road.
in my younger years i was driving through WC2 of an evening and it was pure chaos - those stupid three-wheeled bike cab things everywhere, people running into your path, falling over in the road just general carnage.
i was pretty wound up and then right in front of me a black cab from a layby on the left of me swung directly in my path to do a 180 to go the other way.
I freaked, spanked the horn and waved some hands around - the cabbie in retaliation blew me a kiss. never forget it, instantly diffused the situation (for me anyway) and that was one of my defining moments for being more relaxed on the road.
i was pretty wound up and then right in front of me a black cab from a layby on the left of me swung directly in my path to do a 180 to go the other way.
I freaked, spanked the horn and waved some hands around - the cabbie in retaliation blew me a kiss. never forget it, instantly diffused the situation (for me anyway) and that was one of my defining moments for being more relaxed on the road.
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff