Any wasp experts?
Discussion
Well Nurts might have point actually, those 25 wasps that have gone are off recruiting some nests to come and help, and the 25 that are still hanging about on the fence are lookouts to make sure you don't go anywhere and if you do they will track you because you see.....
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let the Queen go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
PS, don't let them know the Queen is dead, perhaps leave the pyre until later in the week.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let the Queen go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
PS, don't let them know the Queen is dead, perhaps leave the pyre until later in the week.
I've exterminated three wasp nests on my property over the years by pouring in about half a litre of petrol at night and plugging the entrance. All dead by morning. So wanted to light a match and chuck it in each time, but as one of them was inside the wall of my house I resisted the temptation....
Sorry for the delay in response, the wifi was fubar down here in hell.
As most of you expected the remaining wasps did get their act together and killed me. It was quite impressive actually, they found a way into the house through some of those breather bricks. They lay in wait for me and when I stepped out of the shower yesterday morning they sprung their trap. One had knocked some hand soap onto the tiles and I slipped. Once I was on the deck they came in like Japanese kamikaze fighters out of the sun. Sting after sting they placed precisely on my glans, there was no let up, my poor helmet took the brunt of over 300 venomous attacks. To say it was sore was an understatement.
As I stood one of them flew into my nose, up through my breathing tubes and into my brain, perfectly placing a sting right into my Medulla Oblongata. I went down like a pile of bricks and that was where they found me - naked with an angry looking purple cock-end the size of a watermelon and a surprised look on my face.
So that's that really. Hell isn't too bad. Some dude comes into my room each night and rubs my bell with sandpaper but the positives outweigh the negatives: fuel is only 30p a gallon and used car prices are surprisingly affordable.
That's it for me, thanks for all the help.
As most of you expected the remaining wasps did get their act together and killed me. It was quite impressive actually, they found a way into the house through some of those breather bricks. They lay in wait for me and when I stepped out of the shower yesterday morning they sprung their trap. One had knocked some hand soap onto the tiles and I slipped. Once I was on the deck they came in like Japanese kamikaze fighters out of the sun. Sting after sting they placed precisely on my glans, there was no let up, my poor helmet took the brunt of over 300 venomous attacks. To say it was sore was an understatement.
As I stood one of them flew into my nose, up through my breathing tubes and into my brain, perfectly placing a sting right into my Medulla Oblongata. I went down like a pile of bricks and that was where they found me - naked with an angry looking purple cock-end the size of a watermelon and a surprised look on my face.
So that's that really. Hell isn't too bad. Some dude comes into my room each night and rubs my bell with sandpaper but the positives outweigh the negatives: fuel is only 30p a gallon and used car prices are surprisingly affordable.
That's it for me, thanks for all the help.
b
ds.
Sorry to hear of your untimely death OP. However, let this serve to highlight the most fundamental rule of wasps:
Kill the fkers before they kill you.
Because they WILL kill you.
ETA: see if the red chap with the horns will send you back up as a wasp. Gather some intel, suss out their weaknesses, and we can devise a plan to eradicate the stripey little tts from existence, and avenge your jeb end.
ds.Sorry to hear of your untimely death OP. However, let this serve to highlight the most fundamental rule of wasps:
Kill the f
kers before they kill you.Because they WILL kill you.
ETA: see if the red chap with the horns will send you back up as a wasp. Gather some intel, suss out their weaknesses, and we can devise a plan to eradicate the stripey little t
ts from existence, and avenge your jeb end.Edited by Jonny_ on Wednesday 30th July 21:02
I had a mate who claimed to be an expert on wasps, he reckoned their buzzing was song that he could translate into what they were saying.
Any way I found an old LP in old record shop called ‘The songs of the wasps’.
I played it for him, but he couldn’t make head nor tail of it so I called him a phoney and told him to get lost.
It was only after he’d gone home I realised I’d put the B side on.
Any way I found an old LP in old record shop called ‘The songs of the wasps’.
I played it for him, but he couldn’t make head nor tail of it so I called him a phoney and told him to get lost.
It was only after he’d gone home I realised I’d put the B side on.
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