Alzheimer’s - Am I wrong?

Alzheimer’s - Am I wrong?

Author
Discussion

DWS

Original Poster:

657 posts

217 months

Wednesday 30th July 2014
quotequote all
Faterh has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and dementia. We have thought that for a few years but just got confirmation today.

He is 84 and has other numerous heart conditions.

Am I wrong in hoping he passes away quite quickly? My Mother is 80 and won't really be able to cope with him in the state he is in. He is not the Father I know and remember. I love him to bits but don't want to see him suffer and degenerate to the point that he doesn't know any of us or his past. I doubt it will be pleasant for him our family.

your thoughts please.

Dick


WinstonWolf

72,857 posts

238 months

Wednesday 30th July 2014
quotequote all
It may sound harsh, but in my opinion you're not wrong frown 'Hopefully' the other stuff will finish him off before he becomes hard for your mum to handle.

If you want my advice, never trust anyone with Alzheimer's with your washing up, my dad often does it with a snotty hanky if you don't keep an eye on him!!

anonymous-user

53 months

Wednesday 30th July 2014
quotequote all
So sorry to hear about your dad.

I saw my maternal nan go through this for many years and saw the effect on my mum. It's a horrible condition and it robs us of the person we used to know.

Your feelings are totally natural and are born from love.

Really wish you well.

Hoofy

76,253 posts

281 months

Wednesday 30th July 2014
quotequote all
frown

For him and for you, it's the only real way forward.

TheCarFather

293 posts

137 months

Wednesday 30th July 2014
quotequote all
First off thoughts are with you and your family 'cause it is such an awful disease. Depending what stage of dementia your father is at at the moment and how early it got diagnosed some people go several years from being diagnosed to having dementia at it's worst ( forgetting family etc)

Gaspode

4,167 posts

195 months

Wednesday 30th July 2014
quotequote all
You have my sympathies, I certainly wouldn't want to linger around long in an advanced state of dementia. On the other hand, it isn't all bleak. Depending on the state of deterioration, there are drugs that can help a great deal. My MiL is 85, and is taking a drug called Aricept, which she finds very beneficial, to the point where she can still live independently (although she does live next door, so it's easy to keep an eye on her).

DWS

Original Poster:

657 posts

217 months

Wednesday 30th July 2014
quotequote all
Thanks for all your replies.
Had a few drinks now and am feeling it more TBH. Which I'm sure doesn't help in the long run.

Just hope my mum can cope. We live a mile away which is a bonus, if you can call it that.

going off for a bit of a cry now (not the Pistonheads way I know, Powerful, Goatee and Director sort of way etc etc).

thanks.

Dick

Ken Sington

3,958 posts

237 months

Thursday 31st July 2014
quotequote all
No OP, you are not wrong. Went through all of this about 12 years ago. My dad had to be sectioned to protect my mother after he attacked her a couple of times claiming she was a nazi spy. He also had a go several times at other people in the nursing home. Being of the generation that lived and fought through WW2, obviously a lot of trauma caHe to the surface. He knew he had been married and had a family, but had no idea who any of us were at the end. he passed away from a heart attack about 5 months after being sectioned. I had my suspicions that something was not right about this, but it was a blessed relief.

Two very painful things from this are still the memory of driving him away from home one wet January night to get him into a home from which he never returned, and not having a chance to say farewell.

Please feel free to pm if it helps.

BlackVanDyke

9,932 posts

210 months

Monday 11th August 2014
quotequote all
My grandad had alzheimers along with parkinsonism and a very dodgy ticker.

Alzheimers is never nice, or good, or welcome, but neither is it automatically an absolute catastrophe. Between good medical care (aricept is a godsend) and good social care he lived at home right to the end and while his memory and communication skills were pretty thoroughly buggered we all agree that being surrounded by familiar people and things helped way past the point where he knew anyone's name. When he did die it was very sudden, but a conscious decision had been made to keep him out of hospital etc by that point anyway, which I'd 100% support for anything other than REALLY clearly defined acute symptoms which can be resolved quickly with hospital treatment.