Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
When you're dating women 30's & above the chances of them having kids is pretty high & unless you hate the little feckers with a vengeance then you're removing a large proportion of boneable women from your target market. Yeah they can interfere with a love life but if you look at it from the point of view that it provides her with some interests/commitments outside of a relationship it can give you some free time while she does her parent thing. If the kid turns out to be a wee s
te then walk away cos its not worth the aggro & will never work. Been there done that.
I dated a lot of women with kids & it didn't bother me at all, especially if the father is an ok bloke too & not being a mong about things. Women with kids, pretty much a win win most of the time.
te then walk away cos its not worth the aggro & will never work. Been there done that. I dated a lot of women with kids & it didn't bother me at all, especially if the father is an ok bloke too & not being a mong about things. Women with kids, pretty much a win win most of the time.
Looking at it another way if they have no kids beyond a certain age, then this is increasingly a weirdness/mental indicator, especially if they are the "there are no good men out there"/"just can't find a boyfriend" type i.e. they are actively seeking a relationship. At least if they have kids it means that SOMEONE wanted a significant relationship with them, so they might not be quite so oddball.
however this coming from someone who has done the stepdad thing previously and the whole idea makes my blood run cold. It was horrific. Anyway, don't have to worry about it now!
however this coming from someone who has done the stepdad thing previously and the whole idea makes my blood run cold. It was horrific. Anyway, don't have to worry about it now!
Pebbles167 said:
They probably feel like they have to justify that they are not a deadbeat mum? Don't know, but yeah I dislike that line but I look through it. My profile has the "has children" option ticked, but no mention elsewhere.
Personally, what gets me is girls who don't have a job, or don't have a car. It turns out the girl I just asked out on a date has neither. Bloody hell, i've been here before.
And I think it might be you who's got the issue. You absolutely can choose who you want to go out with, but setting yourself a criteria that anyone who's deadbeat, doesnt have a job or a car can be sneery past the point of having basic standards of compatibility and well into classism. Personally, what gets me is girls who don't have a job, or don't have a car. It turns out the girl I just asked out on a date has neither. Bloody hell, i've been here before.
Many people choose not to own a car. Some people choose redundancy. Jobs in some areas are hard to find. You've got to have a bit of openness about other people, otherwise you cut you off from having interesting experiences. The problem you'll end up with is that you'll aim for someone in a higher social class than you and she'll get bored of having to do everything. There's every chance you'll be seen as the deadbeat jobless carless one who needs cutting free.
andy-xr said:
And I think it might be you who's got the issue. You absolutely can choose who you want to go out with, but setting yourself a criteria that anyone who's deadbeat, doesnt have a job or a car can be sneery past the point of having basic standards of compatibility and well into classism.
Many people choose not to own a car. Some people choose redundancy. Jobs in some areas are hard to find. You've got to have a bit of openness about other people, otherwise you cut you off from having interesting experiences. The problem you'll end up with is that you'll aim for someone in a higher social class than you and she'll get bored of having to do everything. There's every chance you'll be seen as the deadbeat jobless carless one who needs cutting free.
I think you've misunderstood what I meant. Granted my use of the word 'justify' was incorrect. I meant 'clarify'.Many people choose not to own a car. Some people choose redundancy. Jobs in some areas are hard to find. You've got to have a bit of openness about other people, otherwise you cut you off from having interesting experiences. The problem you'll end up with is that you'll aim for someone in a higher social class than you and she'll get bored of having to do everything. There's every chance you'll be seen as the deadbeat jobless carless one who needs cutting free.
Im a single dad and regularly date single mums. I prefer women with children.
The issue with not driving or having a job is a personal choice. Ill have to always go see them, and if we meet somewhere they are dependent on public transport. Been there, done that. Also, I see no reason why a healthy 28 year old woman with no kids doesn't have a job. The excuse of 'no jobs about' is bulls
t, especially after a year.Edited by Pebbles167 on Thursday 26th November 10:48
I had a fling with a girl (18) who was a single Mum.
She seemed sweet and lovely at first but she did turn into a bit of a pysco so soon sacked her off.
Her Mum was also mental.
But she was AMAZING in bed and gave me 6 weeks of fun and frolics pretty much every night :-)
I think if I was in my mid-30s I'd have no issues dating a woman with children.
Generally, as said, it indicates they are a bit more "stable" but this is obviously to be taken with a pinch of salt.
I think at my age (24) I'd rather have a bird without any kids, as I often think "bit soon" or "mistake" (rightly or wrongly).
My gf and I are talking about having kids when we're closer to 30 with a bit of cash saved up.
She seemed sweet and lovely at first but she did turn into a bit of a pysco so soon sacked her off.
Her Mum was also mental.
But she was AMAZING in bed and gave me 6 weeks of fun and frolics pretty much every night :-)
I think if I was in my mid-30s I'd have no issues dating a woman with children.
Generally, as said, it indicates they are a bit more "stable" but this is obviously to be taken with a pinch of salt.
I think at my age (24) I'd rather have a bird without any kids, as I often think "bit soon" or "mistake" (rightly or wrongly).
My gf and I are talking about having kids when we're closer to 30 with a bit of cash saved up.
amgmcqueen said:
Whats the verdict on women with a sprog?
Best avoided at all costs?
I tend to swipe left at those with kids but it is really a personal decision. In my case, I spend 5-6 nights a week out and about, doing something on the social scene and usually in a city. I spend weekends doing something active and then a couple of "big" nights. I travel a lot and want to increase this to splitting life between countries and commuting between. The "tie" of a child wouldn't fit at all with seeking out a partner in crime and I am alive to that. However, if you are more a stay at home sort who likes to cook of a night and a movie, and is less transient in lifestyle, I wouldn't dismiss it.Best avoided at all costs?
How much messaging before going on a meet/date do you lot prefer?
Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
SkinnyPete said:
How much messaging before going on a meet/date do you lot prefer?
Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
if they say they're too busy to meet, they are either in a relationship and trying to boost their ego with attention, or they are kind of seeing some from the dating site and aren't sure yet, or they don't find your face or chat attractive and are too polite to let you down, or finally, the least likely option is that they are just a tPersonally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
t who goes on a dating site but genuinely doesn't have the time to meet up with anyone.Blown2CV said:
SkinnyPete said:
How much messaging before going on a meet/date do you lot prefer?
Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
if they say they're too busy to meet, they are either in a relationship and trying to boost their ego with attention, or they are kind of seeing some from the dating site and aren't sure yet, or they don't find your face or chat attractive and are too polite to let you down, or finally, the least likely option is that they are just a tPersonally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
t who goes on a dating site but genuinely doesn't have the time to meet up with anyone.I've never really been in to the 'Hey how's your day?' Bulls
t texting. In the past year I've done a couple of messages, decided if I like them to meet up. Arranged a date and just text a few hours before to confirm. Even three weeks in to one I'm still like that. I suppose it depends what you want in terms of a 'relationship'. I'm still classing myself as single. I like my space and can't be doing/don't have time for a relationship now and texting every half hour to find out what he's eaten or listened to or breathed etc. A couple of times a week is as good as it gets with me now. Text wise.
i think the overriding thing i remember from being on dating sites is that (not trying to blown my own horn here) i had about 3-4 on the go at any one time. I was not really used to this in my previous single periods so i was finding it difficult to not ask about the wrong sister or mix up their jobs and things. Also had to ensure the house did not look like women had been there recently.
I'd imagine as women are, well, better at this sort of thing than me and also much more organised, they probably typically have 5-6 men on the go at once.
If they're struggling to meet up, you're probably in the relegation zone.
I'd imagine as women are, well, better at this sort of thing than me and also much more organised, they probably typically have 5-6 men on the go at once.
If they're struggling to meet up, you're probably in the relegation zone.
Blown2CV said:
i think the overriding thing i remember from being on dating sites is that (not trying to blown my own horn here) i had about 3-4 on the go at any one time. I was not really used to this in my previous single periods so i was finding it difficult to not ask about the wrong sister or mix up their jobs and things. Also had to ensure the house did not look like women had been there recently.
I'd imagine as women are, well, better at this sort of thing than me and also much more organised, they probably typically have 5-6 men on the go at once.
If they're struggling to meet up, you're probably in the relegation zone.
Hmm. I always go to theirs (a few don't know I have kids) I leave no trace. I don't kiss on the lips or use names. I refer to them by profession and/or car they drive. Unfortunately I broke a fitting in the footballer's bathroom the other day :/ hopefully I didn't leave any prints. I'd imagine as women are, well, better at this sort of thing than me and also much more organised, they probably typically have 5-6 men on the go at once.
If they're struggling to meet up, you're probably in the relegation zone.
SkinnyPete said:
How much messaging before going on a meet/date do you lot prefer?
Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
Not to quote myself but I just spent well over 2 hours on the phone to one girl, wow shes amazing. Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
Seeing her on Monday.
Gretchen said:
Hmm. I always go to theirs (a few don't know I have kids) I leave no trace. I don't kiss on the lips or use names. I refer to them by profession and/or car they drive. Unfortunately I broke a fitting in the footballer's bathroom the other day :/ hopefully I didn't leave any prints.
Rooney back to his old ways, then?
SkinnyPete said:
How much messaging before going on a meet/date do you lot prefer?
Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
I am very inexperienced with the whole online dating thing but I have just been messaging a girl, 3 messages on match, swapped numbers, texted a bit for a week. She wanted to meet, I couldn't due to work. We went for dinner on Tuesday night was very pleasant. Went out again last night, dinner and cinema knew each other a little better after the first night and it was great! Had a really great night, lots of laughs, no shortage of conversation. She then came back to mine for coffee, chatted until the wee small hours then she went home. We're now arranging to go out again. We're both slow movers I think.Personally I try and ask for their number on the 3rd message then call them to arrange a date, but even when I get it some girls just want to text frequently for days on end.
Too 'busy' to meet but no shortage of texts. My problem with them is you cant really express yourself or judge someones character through text messages so until later in the relationship I try and avoid them.
Girls seem to be the opposite though.
I too was unsure what she was like, as you say, it's tough when just messaging but she genuinely is a lovely person, just a bit shy at first. Texting is the done thing now so I wouldn't rule anyone out because of that. The only way to know is to meet them. You may be as surprised as I was. If it's a no goer, then on to the next.
If it's just a ride you are after then no response quickly then move on or pay someone, it will be cheaper, if you want something more meaningful then go with it, good things come to those who wait etc.
DISCLAIMER: this is just my experience. You may meet a maniac with a knife in her bag! I also may be talking absolute b
ks!
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