When do you know it's 'that' time?
Discussion
Hi Gary, I always click on these type of threads with a lot of trepidation - for me, it's like reading about someone else's (bad) situation when you know you will have it yourself sometime. I've mentioned on other threads, we have an ageing GSD who, whilst being mentally fit & happy, has really bad arthritis in one leg which significantly compromises her mobility.
On two very specific occasions this year we have thought that we had to let her go, once regarding her leg, once for something else, but they both turned out to be false alarms, so I think I understand how you're feeling because I've been in bits both times we thought "that's it". MrsC and I discussed at length that we will never let her suffer and we'll do our best to achieve the "better one day early than one day late" thing when we need to.
For me the worst thing about your, and eventually our, situations is the time-bomb effect; you know it's not far off but you can't be quite sure when it will happen. It's going to be hideous for any of us, but I guess all we can do is hold on to the great times, the funny things they did, the happiness they brought us, and whilst that won't be much help in the early days, it's something to hold on to. I've had a few dogs PTS over the years and I can still remember exactly what happened with the first one, and that was 20 years ago. He was a good lad
Good luck. "All part of life's rich tapestry", as my old man would often quote.
On two very specific occasions this year we have thought that we had to let her go, once regarding her leg, once for something else, but they both turned out to be false alarms, so I think I understand how you're feeling because I've been in bits both times we thought "that's it". MrsC and I discussed at length that we will never let her suffer and we'll do our best to achieve the "better one day early than one day late" thing when we need to.
For me the worst thing about your, and eventually our, situations is the time-bomb effect; you know it's not far off but you can't be quite sure when it will happen. It's going to be hideous for any of us, but I guess all we can do is hold on to the great times, the funny things they did, the happiness they brought us, and whilst that won't be much help in the early days, it's something to hold on to. I've had a few dogs PTS over the years and I can still remember exactly what happened with the first one, and that was 20 years ago. He was a good lad
Good luck. "All part of life's rich tapestry", as my old man would often quote.
bexVN said:
It may be worth having a chat to your vets so you know, there is nothing worse than trying to decide at the time, I had great peace in knowing what we wanted for Jimmy.
Home or vets personal choice, people worry about stress for the pet, often pool elderly pets don't actually care, we rarely do home visits these days but then again we know most of our patients so well they are at ease with us, we take time and minimise any stress.
Cremation is what most people choose, your vets will be able to tell you who they use and usually have leaflets etc if you want to learn about them. You have choices with what you want to do after and if you want to usually a choice of urns (though I bought one from an online site which went with Jimmy as I had a particular wish about what I wanted)
I hope this helps a bit for you. Planning ahead if you have chance really helps for when it happens.
I guess I've been focussed so much on keeping Jaz happy that I have not even thought beyond that so thanks for the advice. Home or vets personal choice, people worry about stress for the pet, often pool elderly pets don't actually care, we rarely do home visits these days but then again we know most of our patients so well they are at ease with us, we take time and minimise any stress.
Cremation is what most people choose, your vets will be able to tell you who they use and usually have leaflets etc if you want to learn about them. You have choices with what you want to do after and if you want to usually a choice of urns (though I bought one from an online site which went with Jimmy as I had a particular wish about what I wanted)
I hope this helps a bit for you. Planning ahead if you have chance really helps for when it happens.
After having a very near death experience myself many years ago, I have a fairly healthy attitude towards death so I know what I want. I will have her cremated and will then scatter her ashes back up in Berkshire in the Thames where she was born and lived her first 6 years swimming when I used to throw her in because she'd rolled in Fox poo
(typing this brings back so many happy memories and has brought tears to my eyes!!)Hah... as I'm writing she's decided to come into my office and demand breakfast.... she's not silly!!!
CAPP0 said:
Hi Gary, I always click on these type of threads with a lot of trepidation - for me, it's like reading about someone else's (bad) situation when you know you will have it yourself sometime. I've mentioned on other threads, we have an ageing GSD who, whilst being mentally fit & happy, has really bad arthritis in one leg which significantly compromises her mobility.
On two very specific occasions this year we have thought that we had to let her go, once regarding her leg, once for something else, but they both turned out to be false alarms, so I think I understand how you're feeling because I've been in bits both times we thought "that's it". MrsC and I discussed at length that we will never let her suffer and we'll do our best to achieve the "better one day early than one day late" thing when we need to.
For me the worst thing about your, and eventually our, situations is the time-bomb effect; you know it's not far off but you can't be quite sure when it will happen. It's going to be hideous for any of us, but I guess all we can do is hold on to the great times, the funny things they did, the happiness they brought us, and whilst that won't be much help in the early days, it's something to hold on to. I've had a few dogs PTS over the years and I can still remember exactly what happened with the first one, and that was 20 years ago. He was a good lad
Good luck. "All part of life's rich tapestry", as my old man would often quote.
Thanks for that. I agree totally with what you say re time bomb. The strange thing right now is that she is totally fine in terms of the cancer - no pain, eating like a horse - so it's impossible to get my head around the fact that she'll probably go down hill suddenly and then she'll be gone.On two very specific occasions this year we have thought that we had to let her go, once regarding her leg, once for something else, but they both turned out to be false alarms, so I think I understand how you're feeling because I've been in bits both times we thought "that's it". MrsC and I discussed at length that we will never let her suffer and we'll do our best to achieve the "better one day early than one day late" thing when we need to.
For me the worst thing about your, and eventually our, situations is the time-bomb effect; you know it's not far off but you can't be quite sure when it will happen. It's going to be hideous for any of us, but I guess all we can do is hold on to the great times, the funny things they did, the happiness they brought us, and whilst that won't be much help in the early days, it's something to hold on to. I've had a few dogs PTS over the years and I can still remember exactly what happened with the first one, and that was 20 years ago. He was a good lad
Good luck. "All part of life's rich tapestry", as my old man would often quote.
She's been the most constant thing in my life for almost 17 years, and got me though my lowest points during my divorce 10 years ago. She's going to leave such a huge empty space behind so, like you say, remembering all the fun we had together is what matters.
Z4monster said:
So sorry that this is happening. Don't like to think of this happening to my two pals, Bert and Ernie, but I know time will eventually come for them too.
Lost Hamish after 17 happy years when his heart and kidneys started failing and he was too unwell to continue. Hardest thing I have ever done and I still feel tears even writing this now almost 6 years later.
There are pet crematoria around and I would think you can search on google for them near you.
I left Hamish with the vets and they dealt with everything but I didn't get his ashes or anything. If done individually you can have their ashes back.
If you leave them with the vet, their bodies usually get put into a freezer until there are enough to collect and cremate. Sounds horrible writing that down.
Just be assured that you are really doing the best for your pal and they really won't feel anything at all.
Thanks for your words.Lost Hamish after 17 happy years when his heart and kidneys started failing and he was too unwell to continue. Hardest thing I have ever done and I still feel tears even writing this now almost 6 years later.
There are pet crematoria around and I would think you can search on google for them near you.
I left Hamish with the vets and they dealt with everything but I didn't get his ashes or anything. If done individually you can have their ashes back.
If you leave them with the vet, their bodies usually get put into a freezer until there are enough to collect and cremate. Sounds horrible writing that down.
Just be assured that you are really doing the best for your pal and they really won't feel anything at all.
It is strange about the cremation. Half of me wants to take her ashes to the Thames but I'm also a believer that once you are gone the body is just an empty vessel and so I might as well just leave the vert to deal with it all because 'Jaz' will be elsewhere.
It's really good to have this thread as it's making me think about all this stuff.
garyhun said:
I've not had that conversation but it is one that I will have. I actually have not even thought of 'the process' to be honest - what happens afterwards? Where do cremations take place for example?
I am not sure what is worse - having the vet come to me and then I let him take her away for cremation or what?
I've never had to I am not sure what is worse - having the vet come to me and then I let him take her away for cremation or what?
However, this was prompted in my thoughts for you as we witnessed a couple leave without their dog the other week & it was heartbreaking for us to see them so visibly broken - I asked if I could help by driving them home!
Chilli died in the Vets overnight, and his body was returned to me to bury. I didn't know about cremation then
I took Bast's body into the Vet the next morning, they arranged the cremation, paid for it, got the ashes back and I fetched her from them (and handed them the blank, signed claim form).ali_kat said:
garyhun said:
I've not had that conversation but it is one that I will have. I actually have not even thought of 'the process' to be honest - what happens afterwards? Where do cremations take place for example?
I am not sure what is worse - having the vet come to me and then I let him take her away for cremation or what?
I've never had to I am not sure what is worse - having the vet come to me and then I let him take her away for cremation or what?
However, this was prompted in my thoughts for you as we witnessed a couple leave without their dog the other week & it was heartbreaking for us to see them so visibly broken - I asked if I could help by driving them home!
Chilli died in the Vets overnight, and his body was returned to me to bury. I didn't know about cremation then
I took Bast's body into the Vet the next morning, they arranged the cremation, paid for it, got the ashes back and I fetched her from them (and handed them the blank, signed claim form).Scoffers having her 4th meal of the day right now
But I am sorry that I did IYKWIM Sorry to hear this mate but glad you've got some extra time without any undue suffering for the dog.
They do get under our skin.
As Ali has broached the subject, after the terrible event, we went for cremation. We lost both our yorkies in the space of a few months earlier this year. Max, my girlfriends loyal companion went first, on the day she was inconsolable and I did the paper work at the vets and we were told they'd ring when they had the ashes back. I went to collect them and they were In a pretty but cheap cardboard presentation box. I didn't open the box and hid them when got home as we had a few things on over the weekend and I knew she'd be upset to see him in a cardboard box.
After a few days, I mentioned that I'd got Max and was she ready to see him, yes she was so I handed over the box. The tears started, I'd already shed a few over the cremation charge and the cheap cardboard box let alone the loss of Max! The the tears stopped as the box was opened. What are you doing, I asked? Oh this is lovely she replied and lifted out a beautiful oak urn with a simple brass plaque with Max's name and his time with us. I confessed immediately that I was convinced he was in a plastic bag! He now has a great spot alongside his sister on the dresser in the breakfast room.
Hope the little anecdote helps with the decision making process and enjoy the time left to full.
They do get under our skin.
As Ali has broached the subject, after the terrible event, we went for cremation. We lost both our yorkies in the space of a few months earlier this year. Max, my girlfriends loyal companion went first, on the day she was inconsolable and I did the paper work at the vets and we were told they'd ring when they had the ashes back. I went to collect them and they were In a pretty but cheap cardboard presentation box. I didn't open the box and hid them when got home as we had a few things on over the weekend and I knew she'd be upset to see him in a cardboard box.
After a few days, I mentioned that I'd got Max and was she ready to see him, yes she was so I handed over the box. The tears started, I'd already shed a few over the cremation charge and the cheap cardboard box let alone the loss of Max! The the tears stopped as the box was opened. What are you doing, I asked? Oh this is lovely she replied and lifted out a beautiful oak urn with a simple brass plaque with Max's name and his time with us. I confessed immediately that I was convinced he was in a plastic bag! He now has a great spot alongside his sister on the dresser in the breakfast room.
Hope the little anecdote helps with the decision making process and enjoy the time left to full.
In reply to your question:
Few years ago our Border Collie, Gwen, let us know.
She was 15/16 years old and her health had steadily got worse.
One day whilst cleaning her back end she looked at my wife and she could tell Gwen was now in pain and not liking it.
My wife couldn't describe it exactly but when you have lived with a dog as part of the family for that long she just knew.
It was just like Gwen was telling us 'let me go'.
Few years ago our Border Collie, Gwen, let us know.
She was 15/16 years old and her health had steadily got worse.
One day whilst cleaning her back end she looked at my wife and she could tell Gwen was now in pain and not liking it.
My wife couldn't describe it exactly but when you have lived with a dog as part of the family for that long she just knew.
It was just like Gwen was telling us 'let me go'.
Jasandjules said:
You just do. One day my dog looked at me and I heard her ask in my head to go.
^^This. You just know. Meggie, my Boxer/Border Terrier cross bless her lost her Hattie, our other dog this year, and was never quite the same (although getting Daphne did perk her up). She even started this year healthy, but just a bit older. She was getting on for about 13.5 years and was slowing down now and already on some medication. Sadly she developed what turned out to be a very aggressive cancer that made her very uncomfortable and have breathing difficulties - and as a family we were in pain seeing her like it.
I knew had I accepted the inevitable when I woke up one morning hoping she slipped away in the night. (this sounds awful I know) Sadly she didn't and we took her to the vet and he agreed. We didn't want her to pass away without her family around and in an unfamiliar place. So we brought her back, I took the day off work and laid on the floor with her all day fussing and spoiling her with treats.
It was a really peaceful end for her, she just feel asleep and I heard her taking nice long deep breaths before she went - for the first time in those long days I could see her resting.
had to let my best friend go 3 weeks ago, you just know when its time to let them go
I had been sleeping with him on the put me up bed downstairs for 8 months ever since his stroke which he recovered from but he wouldnt settle at night unless he knew I was there next to him he would sleep right through the night knowing I was there but previous he was getting up at 2 / 4 / 7 am to be let out for a P.
Just wished he would have outlasted me because I miss him so much
He was our 1st borne, lost his eye at 10 weeks due to my hawk footing him when he stuck his nose in on a kill but never stopped him from running around at 100mph and trying to cover a 1000 acre field in 3 seconds flat, after that I never flew the hawk again and he was always so special
still raw now writing this but you just know when they have had enough, 14 1/2 years
God Bless you Murphy !!
I had been sleeping with him on the put me up bed downstairs for 8 months ever since his stroke which he recovered from but he wouldnt settle at night unless he knew I was there next to him he would sleep right through the night knowing I was there but previous he was getting up at 2 / 4 / 7 am to be let out for a P.
Just wished he would have outlasted me because I miss him so much
He was our 1st borne, lost his eye at 10 weeks due to my hawk footing him when he stuck his nose in on a kill but never stopped him from running around at 100mph and trying to cover a 1000 acre field in 3 seconds flat, after that I never flew the hawk again and he was always so special
still raw now writing this but you just know when they have had enough, 14 1/2 years
God Bless you Murphy !!
Edited by highflyer on Saturday 27th September 06:00
highflyer said:
had to let my best friend go 3 weeks ago, you just know when its time to let them go
I had been sleeping with him on the put me up bed downstairs for 8 months ever since his stroke which he recovered from but he wouldnt settle at night unless he knew I was there next to him he would sleep right through the night knowing I was there but previous he was getting up at 2 / 4 / 7 am to be let out for a P.
Just wished he would have outlasted me because I miss him so much
He was our 1st borne, lost his eye at 10 weeks due to my hawk footing him when he stuck his nose in on a kill but never stopped him from running around at 100mph and trying to cover a 1000 acre field in 3 seconds flat, after that I never flew the hawk again and he was always so special
still raw now writing this but you just know when they have had enough, 14 1/2 years
God Bless you Murphy !!
So very sorry to hear you have lost Murphy. A special bond we have when we have bred them, my Holly is now the same age as Murphy was and was my 2nd born out of 6.I had been sleeping with him on the put me up bed downstairs for 8 months ever since his stroke which he recovered from but he wouldnt settle at night unless he knew I was there next to him he would sleep right through the night knowing I was there but previous he was getting up at 2 / 4 / 7 am to be let out for a P.
Just wished he would have outlasted me because I miss him so much
He was our 1st borne, lost his eye at 10 weeks due to my hawk footing him when he stuck his nose in on a kill but never stopped him from running around at 100mph and trying to cover a 1000 acre field in 3 seconds flat, after that I never flew the hawk again and he was always so special
still raw now writing this but you just know when they have had enough, 14 1/2 years
God Bless you Murphy !!
Edited by highflyer on Saturday 27th September 06:00
Craphouserat said:
Gary
Lost mine just over a week ago and sill have a few tears everyday - so my heart goes out to and everyone else who has lost theirs recently.
It's such a hard time - i feel for you.
Take care
Barry
Hi Barry,Lost mine just over a week ago and sill have a few tears everyday - so my heart goes out to and everyone else who has lost theirs recently.
It's such a hard time - i feel for you.
Take care
Barry
I've posted a few times on your thread so I know that you've recently gone through and that I will
Thanks for the kind thoughts.
Gary
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