Ex Wife Emigrating to Oz and Taking my 14 year old with her!
Discussion
A mate of mine married an Australian lady, they had 2 kids and got divorced and he now live in Australia in order to maintain weekly contact with his kids.
My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
Lordbenny said:
So, my daughter has just texted me from Heathrow's departure lounge....her mother didn't even tell me that they had tickets and were on their way to Austrailia! I couldn't even say good bye properly! To be honest, I think its worked out well in that we didn't have a long goodbye but still want a b
h her mother is. I just have to look forward to Christmas now when, supposedly, I will have her for 4 weeks but I'm not holding my breath.
What an utter bh her mother is. I just have to look forward to Christmas now when, supposedly, I will have her for 4 weeks but I'm not holding my breath.Edited by Lordbenny on Wednesday 27th August 22:37
h! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmas
Pit Pony said:
A mate of mine married an Australian lady, they had 2 kids and got divorced and he now live in Australia in order to maintain weekly contact with his kids.
My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
My life is a bit more complicated than that! I have things in the UK that will stop me going over there to be with her. Your comment sounds like I am being a bad dad for not going to live in Australia. Jesus, just read what you have just written man! If only life was as simple as that! My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
Adam B said:
What an utter bh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmas
Yes, I have a court order stating that I must be able to contact her via FaceTime, skype, email etc, to have contact with her school and to see her for four weeks at Christmas and three weeks in our summer as well as being able to meet up with her at other times but believe it or not the court order only applies in the UK! What a fh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmasking joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there! Lordbenny said:
Pit Pony said:
A mate of mine married an Australian lady, they had 2 kids and got divorced and he now live in Australia in order to maintain weekly contact with his kids.
My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
My life is a bit more complicated than that! I have things in the UK that will stop me going over there to be with her. Your comment sounds like I am being a bad dad for not going to live in Australia. Jesus, just read what you have just written man! If only life was as simple as that! My point. In 4 years she will be an adult. Go and live in Australia for 4 years. Show her, that she is more important to you than whatever is keeping you in the UK.
Lordbenny said:
Adam B said:
What an utter bh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmas
Yes, I have a court order stating that I must be able to contact her via FaceTime, skype, email etc, to have contact with her school and to see her for four weeks at Christmas and three weeks in our summer as well as being able to meet up with her at other times but believe it or not the court order only applies in the UK! What a fh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmasking joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there! TinyCappo said:
And I take it she has no reason to actually sign it out in Oz. Shes not forced to sign it?
You guessed it!....the only saving grace is that my daughter is 15 in a couple of weeks so is getting wiser to her mothers controlling ways and will be able, hopefully, to control her own life more and more as the years go by.I can't possibly imagine what you feel like as even through my divorce, my boys were close by, but you seem like a level headed sort.
Time will go so quickly that you'll soon be looking back on these times and sharing memories of what happened.
In the meantime, keep on telling her that you love her and are there for her at the other end of a phone line / pc if she ever needs you.
However, please don't ever let he know how you really feel about her mother, after all, it's only your viewpoint and she is still her mum.
I always told my boys to never stop loving their mum despite all the difficulties of the divorce and now, 6 years on, feel much better for it. (selfish of me in one way, but she will never stop being their mum just because I think she's an evil witch!)
Best of luck to you OP
Time will go so quickly that you'll soon be looking back on these times and sharing memories of what happened.
In the meantime, keep on telling her that you love her and are there for her at the other end of a phone line / pc if she ever needs you.
However, please don't ever let he know how you really feel about her mother, after all, it's only your viewpoint and she is still her mum.
I always told my boys to never stop loving their mum despite all the difficulties of the divorce and now, 6 years on, feel much better for it. (selfish of me in one way, but she will never stop being their mum just because I think she's an evil witch!)
Best of luck to you OP
Lordbenny said:
Adam B said:
What an utter bh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmas
Yes, I have a court order stating that I must be able to contact her via FaceTime, skype, email etc, to have contact with her school and to see her for four weeks at Christmas and three weeks in our summer as well as being able to meet up with her at other times but believe it or not the court order only applies in the UK! What a fh! Do you have legal rights as part of the move in terms of holiday time together? Why supposedly 4 weeks at Christmasking joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there! Gutted for you but your ex does seem to be a proper snake with tits so you seem right to ignore her, embrace the life experience your daughter is gaining and make the most of it.
A key part of that could be for you to take your relationship truly international (making sure that you're not portrayed as 'dragging her back to the uk' as her mother will no doubt paint it) and if you plan this properly you could wedge in some amazing holidays with her which would provide memories for life and build on what already sounds like a great relationship - a 14/15/16 year old girl will love Daddy all the more for taking her to Fiji/ Indonesia/ travelling in Thailand/ skiing in Japan...anywhere else east of India. Choosing, planning and booking them together will give you reason for regular contact also, which may help get over any initial awkwardness of distance.
If you're planning on visiting her in Aus I'd suggest a week in Byron Bay. Not far from Brisbane by road but a cool place with a wonderful beach, lots to do and a great number of bars and restaurants. Learning to surf could be a pretty cool Dad and Daughter activity. Cairns/Barrier Reef, Whitsundays, Sydney are all worth a trip too.
Sounds as if you would do well to get some dates for a first trip booked in now given how sneaky your ex seems to be.
A key part of that could be for you to take your relationship truly international (making sure that you're not portrayed as 'dragging her back to the uk' as her mother will no doubt paint it) and if you plan this properly you could wedge in some amazing holidays with her which would provide memories for life and build on what already sounds like a great relationship - a 14/15/16 year old girl will love Daddy all the more for taking her to Fiji/ Indonesia/ travelling in Thailand/ skiing in Japan...anywhere else east of India. Choosing, planning and booking them together will give you reason for regular contact also, which may help get over any initial awkwardness of distance.
If you're planning on visiting her in Aus I'd suggest a week in Byron Bay. Not far from Brisbane by road but a cool place with a wonderful beach, lots to do and a great number of bars and restaurants. Learning to surf could be a pretty cool Dad and Daughter activity. Cairns/Barrier Reef, Whitsundays, Sydney are all worth a trip too.
Sounds as if you would do well to get some dates for a first trip booked in now given how sneaky your ex seems to be.
Lordbenny said:
Yes, I have a court order stating that I must be able to contact her via FaceTime, skype, email etc, to have contact with her school and to see her for four weeks at Christmas and three weeks in our summer as well as being able to meet up with her at other times but believe it or not the court order only applies in the UK! What a fking joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there!
Well, it would, law in one country isn't binding in another.king joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there! You also have the problem that in the UK summer there is no three week break from school in Australia. It's generally a couple of weeks in April, a couple in July and a couple in late September.
There is a long break from mid December through to end of January but getting a teenager to spend the joys of January in the UK during the peak Aussie summer holiday season sounds like a big ask.
Lordbenny said:
TinyCappo said:
And I take it she has no reason to actually sign it out in Oz. Shes not forced to sign it?
You guessed it!....the only saving grace is that my daughter is 15 in a couple of weeks so is getting wiser to her mothers controlling ways and will be able, hopefully, to control her own life more and more as the years go by.h about her. She'll be the bad parent and you'll be the good one that she misses.HenryJM said:
Lordbenny said:
Yes, I have a court order stating that I must be able to contact her via FaceTime, skype, email etc, to have contact with her school and to see her for four weeks at Christmas and three weeks in our summer as well as being able to meet up with her at other times but believe it or not the court order only applies in the UK! What a fking joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there!
Well, it would, law in one country isn't binding in another.king joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there! You also have the problem that in the UK summer there is no three week break from school in Australia. It's generally a couple of weeks in April, a couple in July and a couple in late September.
There is a long break from mid December through to end of January but getting a teenager to spend the joys of January in the UK during the peak Aussie summer holiday season sounds like a big ask.
lord trumpton said:
HenryJM said:
Lordbenny said:
Yes, I have a court order stating that I must be able to contact her via FaceTime, skype, email etc, to have contact with her school and to see her for four weeks at Christmas and three weeks in our summer as well as being able to meet up with her at other times but believe it or not the court order only applies in the UK! What a fking joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there!
Well, it would, law in one country isn't binding in another.king joke....a court order that is specifically written to deal with cross border contact only works one side of the boarder. I have to get it 'mirrored' in Australia to get it to be legally binding and that involves my Ex signing it over there! You also have the problem that in the UK summer there is no three week break from school in Australia. It's generally a couple of weeks in April, a couple in July and a couple in late September.
There is a long break from mid December through to end of January but getting a teenager to spend the joys of January in the UK during the peak Aussie summer holiday season sounds like a big ask.
I am fully aware of the Australian schools holiday system. She is in a private college and I have a court order that expressly states the dates which she can come over here.
They are 4 weeks over Christmas, 2 weeks in our summer and a further two weeks either in the UK or at another destination specified by me (Singapore, Thailand etc)
They are 4 weeks over Christmas, 2 weeks in our summer and a further two weeks either in the UK or at another destination specified by me (Singapore, Thailand etc)
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff