Fair Divs

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Discussion

snood

Original Poster:

107 posts

140 months

Tuesday 26th August 2014
quotequote all
Rude-boy said:
Many people change when they get married. Some because of the new state of mind that they are in, some because they wish to adapt to be a bit more like their partner, some because people do change over time and some because now they can drop the pretence at normality they have been keeping up for the last few years and feel safe to be the batst mental man/woman they are.
Yep, best-ish behaviour until the band of gold went on. Ratbag since.

snood

Original Poster:

107 posts

140 months

Tuesday 26th August 2014
quotequote all
Bit of what goes around comes around today. She now wants to cancel Sky TV, "because I have it at my daughters." Well she's going to the 'States, with SD, to see her other offspring - flying on 9/11! I'll simply get a Sky card then.

Also I got, "I've got you flagged up with the police." For what? I've no idea, never touched her, allegations notwithstanding. But it was sweet to say to her, "I did that 3 weeks ago, when I thought you were going to smash up my stuff in a drunken rage."

She also got the news that she can no longer access the business account, which is, as I said, in my name. Apart from a couple of frosty e-mails, nothing. She's sulking.

The irony is that she's just turned 60 - she isn't eleven, FFS.

snood

Original Poster:

107 posts

140 months

Tuesday 2nd September 2014
quotequote all
Oh dear, another mathematical blind spot.

She has a bank account and so do I. We have a joint account and a business account. here's wot I did...

1: Stopped her accessing the business account, which is in my name. The funds in it are joint, once it's in the black.

2: Changed password so she can't see my personal account.

3: Today, I had the joint account frozen - she'd used it to take her daughter out to lunch and had two deliveries of shopping, to daughter's flat. We normally pay food/house bills half and half. I ain't contributing to another household.

4: Moved the household direct debits to my personal account.

OK, I have 1/3 of the house so I'll pay 1/3 of the household bills and buy my own food. I'll draw from the business account but how do I make it fair, given the funds are joint?

EG: draw 2/3 of the household direct debits?

I don't want to cheat her but it looks like I'd be taking 2/3 of my own half.

or...do I simply deduct before sending off her share & keep a running total if it goes overdrawn again?

Help?




SpeedMattersNot

4,506 posts

195 months

Wednesday 3rd September 2014
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This attitude does seem very immature. Cut your losses, try to be squeaky clean because I've read my fair share of horror stories on her and the media and it doesn't go well for the blokes I'm afraid.

Edit to ask - are you drunk?

Ari

19,328 posts

214 months

Wednesday 3rd September 2014
quotequote all
snood said:
I've also lots of info on the house funding - it was Mum who did that, Dad died in '81. I've every bill, for the purchase of the house, solicitors' fees, moving costs and about £26K's worth of 'improvements', all funded by my family.
And you think the courts will be remotely interested!?

You really need some proper advice. And you need to listen.

snood

Original Poster:

107 posts

140 months

Wednesday 3rd September 2014
quotequote all
SpeedMattersNot said:
This attitude does seem very immature. Cut your losses, try to be squeaky clean because I've read my fair share of horror stories on her and the media and it doesn't go well for the blokes I'm afraid.

Edit to ask - are you drunk?
No, I'm teetotal - have been for 30 years.

snood

Original Poster:

107 posts

140 months

Wednesday 3rd September 2014
quotequote all
olly22n said:
Stop being a tt.

You should know by now the rules of engagement. Kiss good bye to half. Don't fk about by not paying in the meantime either.

Suck it up, pay her what she is due and start again. Your life will be better for it.

Good luck.
Thanks for the 'Good luck'smile

Just to clarify, I'm looking at these:-

Personal account £877 0verdrawn

Joint account £493 overdrawn

Business account £508 overdrawn

Her personal account £no idea, well in the black before she changed her passwords.

Being low paid, we share working tax credit, I just made my claim single and as separated. But on the 11th, she and daughter are flying to the 'States for 2 weeks, at a cost of about £1,000, and she's taking £1,800 'spending money'. Incidentally, I don't have a Bentley or the drive or a Rolex on my wrist.

She's making me lose the house and the business, has deliberately fked my application for a firearms certificate (hobby shooter), has locked me out of 2/3 of the house, isn't paying into it and now expects me to fork out half towards her subsistence at the daughter's address, and pay half towards their jollies. BTW, daughter's benefits outstrip what were receiving as a couple and the government also pays her mortgage.

Who should be sucking it up? I think I've done enough of that.

I've had good advice from the solicitor this afternoon and have listened - it was her suggestion to freeze the joint account - fast. I know a court may not take too much ntoice of who bought what but this decision is based on both sharing and needs.

My plan is to sell both properties, split the proceeds and never darken one another's doors again. But solicitor says her money should be in the 'pot' as much as mine is. She needs to realise that a court fight will just line the lawyers' pockets.

And I'm immature and a tt? Just deeply upset and fuming.



snood

Original Poster:

107 posts

140 months

Friday 5th September 2014
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Funny...it's all gone quiet.

Just a little update. I received a letter from her solicitor today - I'd been warned it was due.

The gist was that I'm intimidating her...

'You locked her out of the house, she had to climb in through an open window.'

Reality: I left to go see a film after my firearms certificate interview - she'd seen the firearms officer an hour before I did. I slam locked the door as usual and I didn't even know where the deadlock keys was. I left the window open as I knew she was en route, on foot. Too pissed to unlock the door? I'll never know.

'You deliberately left pictures of rifles out in the kitchen.'

Reality: My good friend Norman from the rifle club printed these out for me. I'm locked out down in the kitchen/end room. Go figure.

'You unplugged the phone so she couldn't use it.'

Reality: On replacing the phone after using it, I must have dislodged the phone plug from the microfilter...she plugged the phone back in last, it obviously didn't click lock properly. BUT the phone and plug are on her side of the living room door, the one she locks.

Anyway, this lot was followed by a threat about an occupation order. Seems she's instructing the sol/r to draw up a divorce petition. Too late, my petition was sent, recorded, today, with a note about the copy of the marriage certificate (£23.40 on priority - she has the original (for her solicitor) and won't return it.)

And tonight, she turned up with daughter and they're kenelled upstairs. She's been downstairs two or three times - not a word has passed her lips. It's a relief.

As I say, go figure.

Fotic

719 posts

128 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
snood said:
Funny...it's all gone quiet.

Just a little update. I received a letter from her solicitor today - I'd been warned it was due.

The gist was that I'm intimidating her...

'You locked her out of the house, she had to climb in through an open window.'

Reality: I left to go see a film after my firearms certificate interview - she'd seen the firearms officer an hour before I did. I slam locked the door as usual and I didn't even know where the deadlock keys was. I left the window open as I knew she was en route, on foot. Too pissed to unlock the door? I'll never know.

'You deliberately left pictures of rifles out in the kitchen.'

Reality: My good friend Norman from the rifle club printed these out for me. I'm locked out down in the kitchen/end room. Go figure.

'You unplugged the phone so she couldn't use it.'

Reality: On replacing the phone after using it, I must have dislodged the phone plug from the microfilter...she plugged the phone back in last, it obviously didn't click lock properly. BUT the phone and plug are on her side of the living room door, the one she locks.

Anyway, this lot was followed by a threat about an occupation order. Seems she's instructing the sol/r to draw up a divorce petition. Too late, my petition was sent, recorded, today, with a note about the copy of the marriage certificate (£23.40 on priority - she has the original (for her solicitor) and won't return it.)

And tonight, she turned up with daughter and they're kenelled upstairs. She's been downstairs two or three times - not a word has passed her lips. It's a relief.

As I say, go figure.
I can see where she's coming from.

You say you left the window open for her - ergo you knew you'd locked her out.

All this going on and you decide it's time to apply for a FAC and buy a rifle? Chinscratch.

You 'must have dislodged the phone from the filter' - that sounds like a child's attempt at obfuscation.

It all sounds quite pov and you don't sound any better than her to my mind. I'm really enjoying the thread however so please keep posting. smile

El Guapo

2,787 posts

189 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
How long have you been married to this woman? I see 4 years of abuse mentioned but not the number of years of marriage.
Was the house yours before the wedding?
What about the rental property?
There are many other questions. She is not necessarily entitled to 50% of everything, but you have to play this game with a straight bat.

snood

Original Poster:

107 posts

140 months

Saturday 6th September 2014
quotequote all
El Guapo said:
How long have you been married to this woman? I see 4 years of abuse mentioned but not the number of years of marriage.
Was the house yours before the wedding?
What about the rental property?
There are many other questions. She is not necessarily entitled to 50% of everything, but you have to play this game with a straight bat.
keep posting? Stop posting? Make up your mindsbiggrin

El Guapo...

We've been married just over 10 years. She left former husband and came over from the US in 2003. I used to know her back in the mid-70s - Friends Reunited is to blame.

The house was acquired after the sale of my Mum's house. So, Mum bought it and gave it to me. Like a complete knob, I made it joint owned with the Mrs. Ditto the flat.

My plan is to point out that all a court fight is highly likely bring is the same outcome as has been mooted all along - a 50/50 split. She can't have the house - her offer is too silly. I cn't buy her out so we sell up and split up, period. Apart from lining other pockets, court involvment could lead to a compulsory auctioning of assets - peanuts time.

So, the petition is at the court, the copy marrige cert will be on its way next week.

She and SD fly to the 'States to see SS next week. It's her choice to fly on 9/11 - nothing whatsoever to do with me. On her return, she'll find a nice surprise, in the guise of my divorce petition for her response. She won't like what's on it but every 'ground' is 100% true and verifiable.

Stay tuned for the next exciting instalment of Snood vs Snood cool