I work with a total bull¥$€#er!
Discussion
That did make me chuckle, but i try and spend as little time with him as possible, it just it seems like it is bloody eternity
Believe me 10 mins with this bloke and you will want to hit him as well
Luckily its onlt 4 weeks a years, and next year i am getting out of two weeks of it.
Sanity...Oh Sanity.
Believe me 10 mins with this bloke and you will want to hit him as well
Luckily its onlt 4 weeks a years, and next year i am getting out of two weeks of it.
Sanity...Oh Sanity.
I can relate the story of the bloke, with whom I had to share a room on a work weekend, who repeatedly told me that if you put five pints of water in the front tyres of a Mk.3 Capri, it won't understeer.
But then again, I once knew a bulls
tter supreme, a Fangio of fibbing, the Prince of Porkies. One of his was the tale of his having had a trip in a light aircraft, in which the tailplane control cables snapped. The pilot nursed it into the planned airfield. Now I'm no aeronautical expert but I know that, if any aircraft loses its tail end stuff, it will...
(a) Hurtle headlong into the ground.
(b) Climb uncontrollably, stall and hurtle headlong, etc.
My favourite of his was the tale, in a phone call, of a Reliant Regal (which lived across the road from him) having been rolled and wrecked in the process. By chance, I had to pay a call the next day (Sunday). I couldn't resist telling him how amazed I was that the Regal had not only been repaired and resprayed, but had had the original mud replaced on the bodywork
I don't see this bod anymore - IME you can't trust anyone with a head full of magic.
But then again, I once knew a bulls
tter supreme, a Fangio of fibbing, the Prince of Porkies. One of his was the tale of his having had a trip in a light aircraft, in which the tailplane control cables snapped. The pilot nursed it into the planned airfield. Now I'm no aeronautical expert but I know that, if any aircraft loses its tail end stuff, it will...(a) Hurtle headlong into the ground.
(b) Climb uncontrollably, stall and hurtle headlong, etc.
My favourite of his was the tale, in a phone call, of a Reliant Regal (which lived across the road from him) having been rolled and wrecked in the process. By chance, I had to pay a call the next day (Sunday). I couldn't resist telling him how amazed I was that the Regal had not only been repaired and resprayed, but had had the original mud replaced on the bodywork
I don't see this bod anymore - IME you can't trust anyone with a head full of magic.
Pebbles167 said:
read5458 said:
I asked him if he remembered his number and he said he couldn't remember of the top of his head.
I've caught people out by asking them this. A few times it has turned out that the "Afghan hero" is trying to join the Army or has no forces link at all. If you don't remember your number. You were not in the forces.
[footnotes]Edited by Pebbles167 on Wednesday 27th August 18:12[/footnote]
t memory, but I still know my number. silverfoxcc said:
When watching TV and shots of various places in the UK pop up, within milliseconds he says 'I've been there',like a small child would !
Due to my parents taking me to lots of places in the UK, and having lots of books of photo's of the UK I'm afraid that I used to do that. I'm getting lazy now, and just say it in my head and not out loud. 
davhill said:
One of his was the tale of his having had a trip in a light aircraft, in which the tailplane control cables snapped. The pilot nursed it into the planned airfield. Now I'm no aeronautical expert but I know that, if any aircraft loses its tail end stuff, it will...
(a) Hurtle headlong into the ground.
(b) Climb uncontrollably, stall and hurtle headlong, etc.
Not always .... (a) Hurtle headlong into the ground.
(b) Climb uncontrollably, stall and hurtle headlong, etc.
United Airlines Flight 232
cheddar said:
davhill said:
I can relate the story of the bloke, who repeatedly told me that if you put five pints of water in the front tyres of a Mk.3 Capri, it won't understeer.
That's a cracker 
Similar one to a few others on here. A security guard at my last job who used to keep the building safe from sharp pencils and paper trays told me stories of him being in the TA and in 2002 being on a transport plane heading for the Middle East to kill Bin Laden...but it was called off while they were over the channel as they couldn't afford the fuel.
Next gem was him being on the books of North and South as... a professional hacker! I let him talk about his vast array of skills before offering him the IP address of our file server so he could put a file on the desktop on my roaming profile.
"I'm only allowed to use my powers for good"
Oh and the last I saw of this elite warrior he was recovering from being beaten up in High Wycombe shopping centre while guarding the post office.
Next gem was him being on the books of North and South as... a professional hacker! I let him talk about his vast array of skills before offering him the IP address of our file server so he could put a file on the desktop on my roaming profile.
"I'm only allowed to use my powers for good"
Oh and the last I saw of this elite warrior he was recovering from being beaten up in High Wycombe shopping centre while guarding the post office.
I heard of a chap who sounded like a right one. He claimed to have been a butler for the prince of Wales, captain in the army, and a secret agent. He claims to own a Mclaren F1, but the 2 times he's been asked to bring it out for people to see it's been "I crashed it, it's being repaired". The truth is he works in an office, and drives a pea green mini.
Bbunter said:
I heard of a chap who sounded like a right one. He claimed to have been a butler for the prince of Wales, captain in the army, and a secret agent. He claims to own a Mclaren F1, but the 2 times he's been asked to bring it out for people to see it's been "I crashed it, it's being repaired". The truth is he works in an office, and drives a pea green mini.
So he thinks he's Rowan Atkinson, but really he's Mr Bean?Edit: I probably require a woosh parrot for that
Edited by IanCress on Thursday 18th September 09:56
Bbunter said:
A mate of mine was telling me about a guy he was stood behind at a bar in London. This guy was (apparently) a gemstone dealer. He was telling people he was Jewish, he seemed to wish he was Jewish. Anyway, it turned out he was just a hooky car dealer from the east end.
Oy vey!
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff