I work with a total bull¥$€#er!
Discussion
Someone owed me some money earlier this year which I knew I had no chance of getting back, so instead of cash, I got him to do some odd jobs for me at one of my rentals. He's an ok lad, but f
k me he could bullst with the best of them.
He had the POF app on his phone & he'd be showing me profiles of girls - every day he'd come in with "shagged her last night" etc. By lunchtime he'd forgotten he was out "shagging birds" and started talking about all the telly he'd watched the night before. He'd claim to be getting thousands in compensation for getting knocked over & he used to put in a couple of claims a year by walking into cars in Tesco carpark then saying he'd been knocked over.
He claimed he was related to a very well known family in Manchester but a couple of weeks later he was the cousin of a renowned gangster from Salford. Told me he'd done 5 years for armed robbery yet told the plumber he was the getaway driver for the Triads and when they got caught the judge didn't send him to prison as he was that good a driver he should pursue his talent as a racing driver. When asked why he didn't, he said he couldn't be arsed working Sundays. It doesn't matter what you're talking about, he'll tell you some bullst about it.
The worst of all was I turned up one day & he was round the back of the flat with his mate who was loading the skip with crap and doing all the work. I asked him why his mate was here & he said his mate owed him money so he was working it off. I couldn't care who did the work as long as it got done so I left them to it. As it turns out, he'd lied to his mate and told him I was paying him £1k to do some jobs & he'd give his mate £250 once it was all finished. Nobody has seen him since. One thing lying about daft stuff, but ripping off a mate is pretty low.
k me he could bullst with the best of them. He had the POF app on his phone & he'd be showing me profiles of girls - every day he'd come in with "shagged her last night" etc. By lunchtime he'd forgotten he was out "shagging birds" and started talking about all the telly he'd watched the night before. He'd claim to be getting thousands in compensation for getting knocked over & he used to put in a couple of claims a year by walking into cars in Tesco carpark then saying he'd been knocked over.
He claimed he was related to a very well known family in Manchester but a couple of weeks later he was the cousin of a renowned gangster from Salford. Told me he'd done 5 years for armed robbery yet told the plumber he was the getaway driver for the Triads and when they got caught the judge didn't send him to prison as he was that good a driver he should pursue his talent as a racing driver. When asked why he didn't, he said he couldn't be arsed working Sundays. It doesn't matter what you're talking about, he'll tell you some bulls
t about it. The worst of all was I turned up one day & he was round the back of the flat with his mate who was loading the skip with crap and doing all the work. I asked him why his mate was here & he said his mate owed him money so he was working it off. I couldn't care who did the work as long as it got done so I left them to it. As it turns out, he'd lied to his mate and told him I was paying him £1k to do some jobs & he'd give his mate £250 once it was all finished. Nobody has seen him since. One thing lying about daft stuff, but ripping off a mate is pretty low.
Shambler said:
I used to work with a bullstter that used to be in the armed forces in Northern Ireland. He told me that they used to spy on the IRA with binoculars. Although these weren't any binoculars, apparently they could give people cancer by looking at them.
As soon as I hear the words I'm ex Army, my eyes glaze over, I generally like to change jobs every 1 to 3 years, so making friends at work is very rare for me, I am polite but will disengage myself at any opportunity, I never talk cars, politics, immigration, the Army ( ex soldier) or anything about my personal life.tter that used to be in the armed forces in Northern Ireland. He told me that they used to spy on the IRA with binoculars. Although these weren't any binoculars, apparently they could give people cancer by looking at them.This works for me, it helps I work in a solitary job, I am aware however that although employers think slot of me, my colleagues think I'm an odd f
ker.Me and my wife are friends with a couple, the female of which is a liar.
Nothing like any of the above, but stranger in a way. She is 40 years old with kids and she is lovely in every way.
We had known her for 3 or 4 years before we found out she was a liar because her lies are so mundane it would never occur to you that they are lies.
They achieve nothing either. They aren't to big her up in any way whatsoever, or give her any advantage - that's what makes them so bizarre. Also individually you would dismiss them as a mistake or similar, until you realise that they are incessant and ludicrous.
eg: "We had fish and chips for tea last night" when they didn't. "Oh, I ordered a couple of things from that website you recommended" when she didn't, "We had such a nice holiday we stayed on for an extra couple of days " when they didn't.
Nothing like any of the above, but stranger in a way. She is 40 years old with kids and she is lovely in every way.
We had known her for 3 or 4 years before we found out she was a liar because her lies are so mundane it would never occur to you that they are lies.
They achieve nothing either. They aren't to big her up in any way whatsoever, or give her any advantage - that's what makes them so bizarre. Also individually you would dismiss them as a mistake or similar, until you realise that they are incessant and ludicrous.
eg: "We had fish and chips for tea last night" when they didn't. "Oh, I ordered a couple of things from that website you recommended" when she didn't, "We had such a nice holiday we stayed on for an extra couple of days " when they didn't.
StuntmanMike said:
As soon as I hear the words I'm ex Army
A friend of a friend brought it up within 5 mins of me meeting him the first time. To hear him speak he'd virtually killed Saddam. My mate took me aside and explained he was actually a chef and as far as he knew had never seen action.Being quite drunk and not in a mood to listen I started openly calling him Steven Seagal, he took it as a compliment and I was his new best mate, always inviting me down the pub etc. Nothing you said to the guy could put him off, strange guy.
soad said:
£150 and six points for impersonating an anbulance driver, driving a marked up fake ambulance, on his own with a provisional licence, using blue lights on the road, having no insurance, and lying to Police Officers? WTF!? montymoo said:
...I know a chap (let's call him L) ...
montymoo said:
...Lewis piped up saying he ...
Good effort 
I worked with a Lewis and he was the same. I was 21 when I started, earning the same as him (he'd been there since school), he would travel all over in business class at Christmas, the fact that the price he quoted for a ticket was more than a months take home, I some what doubt he did.
He'd basically been to elevenarife, always topped you. Could drive from x to y in N minutes, not that it would be possible etc.
Knew everyone, but no one really knew him. etc.
blindswelledrat said:
Me and my wife are friends with a couple, the female of which is a liar.
Nothing like any of the above, but stranger in a way. She is 40 years old with kids and she is lovely in every way.
We had known her for 3 or 4 years before we found out she was a liar because her lies are so mundane it would never occur to you that they are lies.
They achieve nothing either. They aren't to big her up in any way whatsoever, or give her any advantage - that's what makes them so bizarre. Also individually you would dismiss them as a mistake or similar, until you realise that they are incessant and ludicrous.
eg: "We had fish and chips for tea last night" when they didn't. "Oh, I ordered a couple of things from that website you recommended" when she didn't, "We had such a nice holiday we stayed on for an extra couple of days " when they didn't.
I went to school with someone like that. Would lie about what they had for breakfast. Would make up amazing stuff he had heard about or seen on TV. Ones I remember are that the CIA had made some character recognition software that was so good they had to get rid of it because you could do fraud with it and that Lola Ferrari (adult actress with comically huge norks) had died on live TV while bouncing up and down on a trampoline on 'Eurotrash'. She had actually died but not on TV at all. In the end we just started ignoring him as you couldn't even believe the most mundane thing he said. His surname was Comer, so between us for a while a 'Comer lie' was a lie with no purpose whatsoever.Nothing like any of the above, but stranger in a way. She is 40 years old with kids and she is lovely in every way.
We had known her for 3 or 4 years before we found out she was a liar because her lies are so mundane it would never occur to you that they are lies.
They achieve nothing either. They aren't to big her up in any way whatsoever, or give her any advantage - that's what makes them so bizarre. Also individually you would dismiss them as a mistake or similar, until you realise that they are incessant and ludicrous.
eg: "We had fish and chips for tea last night" when they didn't. "Oh, I ordered a couple of things from that website you recommended" when she didn't, "We had such a nice holiday we stayed on for an extra couple of days " when they didn't.
Hilarious thread.
Most of these people seem to be male, so to redress the balance I should recount the tale of a female my wife knew. I only heard the first few stories secondhand but they got my antennae twitching. As I recall them, they went in this order, sort of one a week:
That new girl at work:
She had a rare form of cancer but recovered from it.
She was raped with a breadknife once.
She has an HGV licence (she was a dental assistant)and shoots regularly.
She has a shotgun licence and threatened her noisy neighbours with it.
She owns a flat in Monaco.
Her dad is an arms dealer.
She is fluent in six (incredibly obscure) languages.
All her boyfriends are hung like donkeys and she's the only girl that can accommodate them.
After about four weeks it was obvious to me that she was either the unluckiest and most talented girl on the planet or a compulsive liar. Once my wife realised it as well she was on a slippery slope. The stories all came unravelled and it all ended badly when she announced she had been a top dancer for the Royal Ballet and had danced all over the world. My wife's a former ballet teacher so asked her to demonstrate a couple of technical moves. Can't remember the excuse but the fantasist left not long after.
Most of these people seem to be male, so to redress the balance I should recount the tale of a female my wife knew. I only heard the first few stories secondhand but they got my antennae twitching. As I recall them, they went in this order, sort of one a week:
That new girl at work:
She had a rare form of cancer but recovered from it.
She was raped with a breadknife once.
She has an HGV licence (she was a dental assistant)and shoots regularly.
She has a shotgun licence and threatened her noisy neighbours with it.
She owns a flat in Monaco.
Her dad is an arms dealer.
She is fluent in six (incredibly obscure) languages.
All her boyfriends are hung like donkeys and she's the only girl that can accommodate them.
After about four weeks it was obvious to me that she was either the unluckiest and most talented girl on the planet or a compulsive liar. Once my wife realised it as well she was on a slippery slope. The stories all came unravelled and it all ended badly when she announced she had been a top dancer for the Royal Ballet and had danced all over the world. My wife's a former ballet teacher so asked her to demonstrate a couple of technical moves. Can't remember the excuse but the fantasist left not long after.
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