Shed Of The Week: Alfa Romeo 147 Selespeed

Lots to like in this smart looking Alfa, one significant thing possibly not to

A good few years back, in the phantom age between the last Alfa Romeo classics of the 60s (the gorgeous Arese-built 105/115 coupes) and modern, corporate Alfas like the 156, Shed shared a big house with an Alfa nut. This poor sap bought one Alfa after another, never had less than three in the yard, and never seemed to enjoy a quiet moment when there wasn't something wrong with at least one of them.

It's pretty and seemingly in pretty good nick

The last time Shed saw this chap, now sadly deceased, he had a GTV Spider, a GTV6 and a Giulia 1600, all clinging on to some sort of life but all in various states of shabbiness. For him, however, it didn't matter: Alfa ownership was a calling, something that had to be done by somebody, and he was happy to offer himself up for the task. When challenged about the madness of it all, he would simply smile ruefully and shrug the 'it's out of my hands' shrug of the mainlining addict. He just couldn't help himself.

The emotional pull that Alfas used to exert on their owners isn't so strong now. Quality control niggles unresolved by poorly-supported dealer networks mean that modern Alfas tend to be damned with faint praise by those who remember their illustrious forebears - which is a shame because, in the same way that old Alfas perhaps weren't quite as good as we like to think they were, the current crop is nowhere near as bad as they're often painted.

Take the 147, a Focus-sized three- or five-door hatch that was warmly welcomed on its 2000 launch. Indeed, it was European Car of the Year in 2001. It offered the option of a 'new world of services accessed simply by pressing a CONNECT key on the facia, summoning operators based at a state-of-the-art Contact Centre located in Arese'. Wonder if that call centre is still there, manned by dead-eyed pensioners who haven't been told they're no longer required?

Selespeed transmission will put many off

Anyway, forgetting about that, the 147 looked the part and had an appealing range of 1.6, 2.0 and (in the GTA) 3.2-litre multivalve petrol engines. Autodelta would bore the six out to 3.7 litres if you asked them nicely, increasing power from 247hp to 325hp: they even did a supercharged version churning out 400hp.

Our Shed is the 150hp 2.0 litre, which is good. The performance for that amount of power could not in all fairness be described as startling, but then again this is an automatic. Or, to be more accurate, a semi-automatic. Yes, our Shed is a (whisper it) Selespeed.

There used to be a dedicated website called selespeedsucks.co.uk. Appropriately, perhaps, it has conked out. One PHer summed up the two basic problems with Selespeed, one being electronics, the other being Italians. He did have the decency to apply the politically correct rider that, in isolation, neither of these elements constituted a particular problem. It was just the combination that had the potential to bemuse.

Here's some first hand experience from PHer gudinskas that will explain far better than we ever could the driving attributes of this, er, interesting transmission.

"I think some people buy it thinking it is a proper automatic transmission, which it is not. It is not as simple as just putting the foot on the throttle and ignoring revs like you would with a full automatic with torque converter. The ECU is programmed to modulate the throttle (so you sound like a pro with a nice automatic throttle blip on the downshift), but to get it really smooth you need to ease off the throttle a touch when you upshift and otherwise behave a bit like you would when driving a manual. I never use the City mode and do all the shifting myself. The City mode stays in first too long off the start (even when accelerating slowly or moderately), which I think is much of the reason people say the Selespeed is too lurchy. Shifting manually at a lower rpm (unless you are gunning it) will solve this problem.

One owner from (almost) new offers hope

"The quibble I have with the Selespeed is that even in 'manual' mode it downshifts automatically unless you do it first, meaning that you might go to downshift from third in the approach to a roundabout and find yourself suddenly in first because you gave an instruction to drop the gear an instant after the computer decided to drop a gear. You never have to worry about blowing the engine because of this though - the ECU will never put you into a gear that puts you over the redline, but it is annoying. The only answer to this is to get a feel for the evil gremlin inside and pre-empt him, meaning I annoy my fiancee with high-revving engine braking more than I should. It is sequential so you need to downshift all the way through the gears ... sometimes too much trouble and you might as well just slow down and let the transmission downshift you through the gears.

"Paddle shifting is a bit unnatural but I find it is great for safely taking on twisty B-roads at speed. Your hands never leave the wheel and you don't have to think about waiting until after you finish a turn to reach down and shift, you can upshift in the middle of a turn and just keep steering."

Thanks gudinskas. It should be noted that some owners have experienced no difficulties with their Selespeed transmissions. OK, the 'Selespeed failure' warning will occasionally light up on the dash, but will generally disappear on restarting. Sometimes the clutch plunger (a real thing) will go walkabout, shifting the box up from second to fifth when the trans is warm, rather than the more predictable arrival of third.

What else can test your patience with these cars? Well, if you were Shed's defunct mate, nothing. But what about the rest of us? Numerous software upgrades have been issued over the years by Alfa Romeo to ensmoothen jerky upchanges on part or heavy throttle settings, but you can make that happen yourself by tapping off a bit on the changes, just as you might do in a Smart car. But there's not a lot you can do about the flaky solenoids, relays, multiplugs and sensors that will randomly put you on the side of the road scratching your head and cursing all things Italian.

If she goes as well as she looks...

Clutches and actuators can fail at alarmingly low mileages, and you can expect short shrift from Alfa dealers. Selespeed fluid pressure and the position of the clutch rod are both crucial. If you don't hear the pump priming the system for about seven seconds after opening the door, expect problems. Some old hands reckon a diagnostic laptop and cable are an essential part of every Selespeed owner's toolbox. One PHer reported a catastrophic ventilated crankcase scenario: timing belts need changing at 36K miles.

Ignore all that and look at the rest of what's on offer here. A very clean two-owner car with a nice spec, lovely leather seats and of course the electronic traction control that was debuted by Alfa in the 147.

The 147 can't have been all that bad: Alfa made over half a million of them over 10 years, replacing it in 2010 with the rather faceless Giulietta. Eeeh, remember the 147, that was a lovely car that was, not like the Alfas of today, grumble, moan, etc. See? That's the Alfa effect for you. Just be ready for the occasional jolting dose of blood-red reality looming through the rose-tinted mist.

Here's the ad.

Semi automatic (change manually or fully auto). Lovely clean car owned by present owner since one year from new. Low mileage for year. Fantastically comfortable leather seats., BLUE, 3 owners, Next MOT due 12/11/2014, taxed until July 2015. Part service history, Electric windows, CD player, Heated seats, Height adjustable driver's seat, Folding rear seats, Child seat points (Isofix system), Alloy wheels, Power steering, Steering wheel rake adjustment, Steering wheel reach adjustment, Cruise control, Traction control, Central locking, Alarm, Immobiliser, Driver's airbags, Side airbags, Passenger airbags. £995 ono

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V8 FOU

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