Impersonating A Police Officer Always Wrong?

Impersonating A Police Officer Always Wrong?

Author
Discussion

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

2,952 posts

131 months

Sunday 31st August 2014
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Was surveying a derelict block of flats this week, was on the way out and about to lock the Sitex doors when I heard people moving inside. Some bugger had sneaked into lower flats while I was upstairs and had left the doors open. This was a problem. I couldn't just lock up and leave especially if it was kids inside and if I went in looking for who was inside and it was junkies a worse case scenario could be a stabbed Tanned Baldhead in the company accident book.

The solution to the problem was clever (in that it worked) but illegal. I roared into the dark depths of the metal shuttered block "POLICE SCOTLAND, COME OUT NOW!!!".
A rustle and then silence. "If you don't show yourselves NOW I'll call in a dog handler. If you don't want bit get yourselves out now".
Silence. "You're being daft the dugs will fking eat yous if you don't show yourself"

Three very scared looking teenage boys appeared. I was wearing a grey suit with a HI VIS over it. I asked them what they were doing in the building. ("just mucking about"), why they weren't at school ("don't know") took their names and addresses (didn't write it down) and told them if they were seen bunking off school or entering the flats again we'd be seeing their parents and the school.

Highly illegal, but it solved the problem quickly and simply and that's what life's about. Any plod (or civilian for that matter) going to tell me I'm bad and wrong.

Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Monday 1st September 07:48

Hilts

4,383 posts

281 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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When I was at Uni I rented a room in a house. On the floor above me were two classmates in a single room with a stair leading up to their door.

One day for a laugh I went up the stair and banged three times on the door and shouted "OPEN UP, POLICE!"

I then opened the door to discover them absolutely stting themselves and trying to hide their hot knives setup. They were not happy when they discovered it was only me.

V8 Fettler

7,019 posts

131 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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Tannedbaldhead said:
Was surveying a derelict block of flats this week, was on the way out and about to lock the Sitex doors when I heard people moving inside. Some bugger had sneaked into lower flats while I was upstairs and had left the doors open. This was a problem. I couldn't just lock up and leave especially if it was kids inside and if I went in looking for who was inside and it was junkies a worse case scenario could be a stabbed Tanned Baldhead in the company accident book.

The solution to the problem was clever (in that it worked) but illegal. I roared into the dark depths of the metal shuttered block "POLICE SCOTLAND, COME OUT NOW!!!".
A rustle and then silence. "If you don't show yourselves NOW I'll call in a dog handler. If you don't want bit get yourselves out now".
Silence. "You're being daft the dugs will fking eat yous if you don't show yourself"

Three very scared looking teenage boys appeared. I was wearing a grey suit with a HI VIS over it. I asked them what they were doing in the building. ("just mucking about"), why they weren't at school ("don't know") took their names and addresses (didn't write it down) and told them if they were seen bunking off school or entering the flats again we'd be seeing their parents and the school.

Highly illegal, but it solved my problem quickly and simply and that's what life's about. Any plod (or civilian for that matter) going to tell me I'm bad and wrong.
You're clearly incompetent for allowing the situation to arise in the first place.

Eclassy

1,201 posts

121 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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You are going to prison mate. Just go home and wait in the front room. Five o will be around in any minute. You are a CRIMINAL.

wildcat45

8,056 posts

188 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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I think you'll be OK

What isn't OK is wearing a black T shirt baseball cap with chequer pattern round the sides (not Burbury check) a holster with imitation Glock in it while screaming at a passer by ARMED POLICE STAND STILL"

That may get you in bother.

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

2,952 posts

131 months

Monday 1st September 2014
quotequote all
V8 Fettler said:
You're clearly incompetent for allowing the situation to arise in the first place.
True to an extent. I should have perhaps locked myself in the block but feel very uncomfortable doing so. I could have addressed that problem by saying entering the flats as a lone worker wasn't safe but my nearest colleague was 30 miles away turning a ten minute one man job into an hour plus two man job. It was one of those horrible situations where all along the line from the first phone call from the office asking "was near the flats and could a pop in and see if" every decision I made would have been the wrong decision and at every point thereafter had anything gone wrong it was P45 time.

I could have/should have done it by the book but then in the current economic climate the sort of guy who wont go up a ladder and survey a roof void because his method statement cannot resolve "three points of contact must be kept on the ladder at all times" with "loft hatches must always be opened with two hands" is the sort of guy who'll find himself managed out of the business.

Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Monday 1st September 08:49

kowalski655

14,599 posts

142 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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Expect to be arrested and sued for causing trauma to the poor little loves any time nowsmile

V8 Fettler

7,019 posts

131 months

Monday 1st September 2014
quotequote all
Tannedbaldhead said:
V8 Fettler said:
You're clearly incompetent for allowing the situation to arise in the first place.
True to an extent. I should have perhaps locked myself in the block but feel very uncomfortable doing so. I could have addressed that problem by saying entering the flats as a lone worker wasn't safe but my nearest colleague was 30 miles away turning a ten minute one man job into an hour plus two man job. It was one of those horrible situations where all along the line from the first phone call from the office asking "was near the flats and could a pop in and see if" every decision I made would have been the wrong decision and at every point thereafter had anything gone wrong it was P45 time.

I could have/should have done it by the book but then in the current economic climate the sort of guy who wont go up a ladder and survey a roof void because his method statement cannot resolve "three points of contact must be kept on the ladder at all times" with "loft hatches must always be opened with two hands" is the sort of guy who'll find himself managed out of the business.

Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Monday 1st September 08:49
Why does it need to be two man? Lock the door to keep the scum out, but make sure the firemen can get in (it's not usually a problem!), don't use the lift, make sure someone knows where you are.

Tiggsy

10,261 posts

251 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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seriously? you told some kids you were police and you want to know if you are in trouble????

god help you at xmas when you impersonate santa!

XCP

16,876 posts

227 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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I used to have a colleague who could do an uncannily accurate and quite scary impersonation of a police dog barking which used to achieve good results on occasions.

mikeyr

3,118 posts

192 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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XCP said:
I used to have a colleague who could do an uncannily accurate and quite scary impersonation of a police dog barking which used to achieve good results on occasions.
As opposed to one of those civilian dogs? 'ello ello ello, what's bark going bark on bark here bark' wink

Red 4

10,744 posts

186 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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Breadvan72 said:
PC Peach put his paw-print (signature) in the wrong place on his statement. (PSD will probably serve him forms for that).

No matter how good police dogs are (they are mostly ace by the way) they sometimes do some daft things (which makes them even more loveable).

I don't think they'll ever get that writing thang down though - but then again Peach was only 4.

Edited by Red 4 on Monday 1st September 12:46

TheAllSeeingPie

865 posts

134 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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Next time lock the doors, call the police and wait in your car until they turn up and nick the little scrots?

anonymous-user

53 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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TheAllSeeingPie said:
Next time lock the doors, call the police and wait in your car until they turn up and nick the little scrots?
I hope he's got supplies in his car.

scarble

5,277 posts

156 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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mikeyr said:
XCP said:
I used to have a colleague who could do an uncannily accurate and quite scary impersonation of a police dog barking which used to achieve good results on occasions.
As opposed to one of those civilian dogs? 'ello ello ello, what's bark going bark on bark here bark' wink
rofl

Personally I'd have kept two feet and one knee on the ladder while using two hands to lift the hatch wavey

Webber3

1,228 posts

218 months

Monday 1st September 2014
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Tiggsy said:
seriously? you told some kids you were police and you want to know if you are in trouble????

god help you at xmas when you impersonate santa!
Hehe, this guy was filmed doing just that and the real police still didn't give a st.
http://youtu.be/Po_Y2TarRII

XCP

16,876 posts

227 months

Tuesday 2nd September 2014
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mikeyr said:
XCP said:
I used to have a colleague who could do an uncannily accurate and quite scary impersonation of a police dog barking which used to achieve good results on occasions.
As opposed to one of those civilian dogs? 'ello ello ello, what's bark going bark on bark here bark' wink
No, as opposed to a Yorkshire Terrier or Chihuahua which wouldn't have quite the same effect on your average scrote smile

un1corn

2,143 posts

136 months

Tuesday 2nd September 2014
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How many bobbies have impersonated a Police dog before wink

julianc

1,984 posts

258 months

Tuesday 2nd September 2014
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Breadvan72 said:
BV, I'd be more worried about posting Restricted material on t'internet... wink