I'm the biggest/best/richest Pistonheader ever...
Discussion
Lately, Pistonheads seems to have descended into willy waving, bickering and one upmanship which is beginning to destroy the happy cameraderie that this once lovely corner of the Internet once had.
In an attempt to focus this behaviour in one place, thus leaving the rest of the forum to return to the happy place it once was; I put it to you, the willy waving, supercar driving, expensive watch wearing company directors out there to answer the question: 'I am the biggest/best/richest/fastest/(etc) Pistonheader because...'
I'm looking forward to the replies!
In an attempt to focus this behaviour in one place, thus leaving the rest of the forum to return to the happy place it once was; I put it to you, the willy waving, supercar driving, expensive watch wearing company directors out there to answer the question: 'I am the biggest/best/richest/fastest/(etc) Pistonheader because...'
I'm looking forward to the replies!
Chunkymonkey71 said:
Lately, Pistonheads seems to have descended into willy waving, bickering and one upmanship which is beginning to destroy the happy cameraderie that this once lovely corner of the Internet once had.
I'm looking forward to the replies!
the only bit of this I'll take issue with is "lately".....it's always been like that!I'm looking forward to the replies!
As I write this on my IPhone 6, I'm currently sitting on the white sandy beach on the island in the West Indies that I own. I'm drinking the largest white rum cocktail known to man that was made by personal cocktail designer, Simone. (it is chilled to just 1 degree above freezing.)
In the ashtray by my side I have a Havana cigar that comes from the best tobacco stock that money can buy from that fair island. Each one of these is hand rolled on the thighs of Nepalese maidens. Why would they fly the constituent parts of a cigar out to Nepal to be hand rolled you ask? Because as any ful kno, Nepalese maidens have the best thighs to roll cigars on, especially Uncok. Her thighs are like beautiful light brown ironing boards.
At the current time Sarah Chalke is giving me a hand job, whilst totally naked. Why only an HJ you ask? Well I've just take possession of the Brietling Grand Aviator Business God Emergency Beacon watch. As I am sure you are aware this not only lets authorities know where I am when I pull out the rescue beacon, it also let them know how important I'm and how crucial it is to not only fire up the chopper asap but to make sure it has a decent selection of canapés on board . Of course the watch itself is so heavy that I can't lift it to organise the hand shandy, therefore I'm enjoying the well practiced skills of Miss Chalke.
Besides, Kaley Curco is currently lying passed out in the bedroom from last nights Olympics of passion and will be not ready to absorb my extreme sexual needs for at least the next 12 hours.
Tomorrow I shall jump into my private P-51 Mustang, fly to my personal airport, jump into my McLaren F1 and drive to my office, where I will do an hours work. In that time I will take over five companies (I hear Google is looking shaky.), close at least 6 factories just for s
ts and giggles and then ring Bill Gates to remind Microsoft still only exists because I let it. I will then drive to the White House and hammer some sausages into Obamas lawn just to let Obama know he needs to cut the st.
I will then drive back to the airport and jump into my private T-38 Talon to fire back to the island, where I shall eat the finest lobster and shrimp. By this time of course Kaley will be prepared and covered in chocolate sauce, ready for me to do what I want to her, in alphabetical order of depravity.
I will then sleep the sleep of the just.
You know what, I might have made some this up....
In the ashtray by my side I have a Havana cigar that comes from the best tobacco stock that money can buy from that fair island. Each one of these is hand rolled on the thighs of Nepalese maidens. Why would they fly the constituent parts of a cigar out to Nepal to be hand rolled you ask? Because as any ful kno, Nepalese maidens have the best thighs to roll cigars on, especially Uncok. Her thighs are like beautiful light brown ironing boards.
At the current time Sarah Chalke is giving me a hand job, whilst totally naked. Why only an HJ you ask? Well I've just take possession of the Brietling Grand Aviator Business God Emergency Beacon watch. As I am sure you are aware this not only lets authorities know where I am when I pull out the rescue beacon, it also let them know how important I'm and how crucial it is to not only fire up the chopper asap but to make sure it has a decent selection of canapés on board . Of course the watch itself is so heavy that I can't lift it to organise the hand shandy, therefore I'm enjoying the well practiced skills of Miss Chalke.
Besides, Kaley Curco is currently lying passed out in the bedroom from last nights Olympics of passion and will be not ready to absorb my extreme sexual needs for at least the next 12 hours.
Tomorrow I shall jump into my private P-51 Mustang, fly to my personal airport, jump into my McLaren F1 and drive to my office, where I will do an hours work. In that time I will take over five companies (I hear Google is looking shaky.), close at least 6 factories just for s
ts and giggles and then ring Bill Gates to remind Microsoft still only exists because I let it. I will then drive to the White House and hammer some sausages into Obamas lawn just to let Obama know he needs to cut the st. I will then drive back to the airport and jump into my private T-38 Talon to fire back to the island, where I shall eat the finest lobster and shrimp. By this time of course Kaley will be prepared and covered in chocolate sauce, ready for me to do what I want to her, in alphabetical order of depravity.
I will then sleep the sleep of the just.
You know what, I might have made some this up....
Edited by The Hypno-Toad on Sunday 14th September 13:50
The Hypno-Toad said:
Council Baby said:
GC8 said:
Council Baby said:
My dad's bigger than your dad.
My dad is gay and he will shag your dad.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff