Losing a pet

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Discussion

Munter

31,319 posts

240 months

Wednesday 1st October 2014
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Craphouserat said:
Managing to look at pictures and smile more though rather than just wanting to blubber !!
That's a good thing I think smile

Craphouserat

Original Poster:

1,494 posts

200 months

Wednesday 1st October 2014
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Munter said:
That's a good thing I think smile
It is..thanks Munter.

Just been and picked the wee man up....no tears in vets thankfully. Not so on our return.

He was a wee man and there wasn't much in the way of ash...but i'm not sure what I expected.

Thanks to everyone for their words over the past 10 days or so...I can honestly say that this and other threads in this section have genuinely reminded me not all human beings are selfish uncaring creatures.

Some of you are quite nice wink

He's home...hopefully soon we can provide a great home for a rescue dog.

Thank you all so much.

Barry

TheLordJohn

5,746 posts

145 months

Wednesday 1st October 2014
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Craphouserat said:
hopefully soon we can provide a great home for a rescue dog.

Barry
Best thing to do!
Great to hear you're getting there now.

Jasandjules

69,825 posts

228 months

Wednesday 1st October 2014
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It is awful recovering the ashes. I forgot to mention, you can buy picture frames with a section for the ashes, so you can have photos and the ashes.

Well done for knowing you will offer a rescue a home too.

Craphouserat

Original Poster:

1,494 posts

200 months

Tuesday 7th October 2014
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Jasandjules said:
It is awful recovering the ashes. I forgot to mention, you can buy picture frames with a section for the ashes, so you can have photos and the ashes.

Well done for knowing you will offer a rescue a home too.
Thanks for this - we're still looking at something for his ashes. We have managed to get some great pictures of him on walks in some frames and put them around the house....strange but for some reason we never had many pics of him up around the house when he was alive, plenty on phones/pc, but not much on the walls etc.

Miss him every day and think of him but things are a bit easier now - we will be looking seriously at rescue dogs when we come back from a short break later this months.

If anybody has some good advice about things to look out for/questions to ask please feel free to pass this on. I personally have never taken a rescue dog on but this is what we will be doing.

Barry

CAPP0

19,533 posts

202 months

Tuesday 7th October 2014
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The vet is coming to our house this lunchtime for the last time....

They have already asked how we want Duffy back and that's a tough ask. The one thing which someone else with dogs told me they did was to put a suitable plant in a pot in the garden with the dog's ashes in there. Seems a nice idea and also means that if you move house you can take them with you. Alternatively, Duffy will be gong to the seaside, her favourite place.

Craphouserat

Original Poster:

1,494 posts

200 months

Tuesday 7th October 2014
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CAPP0 said:
The vet is coming to our house this lunchtime for the last time....

They have already asked how we want Duffy back and that's a tough ask. The one thing which someone else with dogs told me they did was to put a suitable plant in a pot in the garden with the dog's ashes in there. Seems a nice idea and also means that if you move house you can take them with you. Alternatively, Duffy will be gong to the seaside, her favourite place.
Jeez - my heart goes out to you. I really mean that. Losing Ozz hit me harder than losing some relatives. The only positive thing for you here is that the vet is coming to your home - reducing the stress on the pet. We had to make a decision quite quickly at the vet and I felt guilty that my goodbye wasn't what it should have been. You have a proper chance to have to with your pet.

You've loved her and given her a good life and are now doing the best thing for her at the end of her life - try and take some comfort in that.

I feel for you...take care.

Barry

sumo69

2,164 posts

219 months

Tuesday 7th October 2014
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Cappo

I am sure I don't need to say this, but lots of fuss, her favourite treats and if possible some nice photos are what I recommend, and a box of tissues for afterwards.

I seriously believe our Suki to be a family member and have no doubt that I would treat her loss as such.

Hope everything goes as well as can be - now get off the Internet and spend your time with your beloved dog.

David

CAPP0

19,533 posts

202 months

Wednesday 8th October 2014
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Thanks Barry & David. Everyone in the house is a little fragile today, it still seems almost unreal that she's not here any more, but we're comforted that we always did the right thing by her right until the very end. She'll be with us in spirit for a very long time anyway.

TheLordJohn

5,746 posts

145 months

Wednesday 8th October 2014
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CAPP0 said:
Thanks Barry & David. Everyone in the house is a little fragile today, it still seems almost unreal that she's not here any more, but we're comforted that we always did the right thing by her right until the very end. She'll be with us in spirit for a very long time anyway.
If it's any consolation, your first post had a 26 year old HGV Mechanic in tears! Lol.
I try my hardest not to think about my dogs last day - it's the final kiss I get off him that is going to kill me.
I just won't want it to end but it has to, inevitably, at some point.

CAPP0

19,533 posts

202 months

Wednesday 8th October 2014
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Thanks TLJ, In return I can tell you that I have 2 sons both older than you, and I've been unable to hold it all together on several occasions since yesterday lunchtime. Telling people is the hardest thing and has so far floored me each time I've had to do it. I've resorted to texting the news for now.

I realise this next bit might make things a bit dusty near a few PH computers, but in the end, we were out in the garden, on the lawn in the sunshine. On Monday Duffy was well enough to go for two walks, on one of which she was cantering about happily, but something happened to her overnight and that was when we knew it was time. She always loved the outdoors and yesterday for some unknown reason she had led me out there just before the vet arrived. When the vet got there, she was not in a good way, but, at 36kg, she was curled up on my lap, something which she never did, and I had my arms around her just holding her (which again she had never liked, she hated being constrained) as the vet did what he had to do, and she passed like that. It's hideous, and both MrsC and I are, frankly, distraught, but I can at least hold on to the fact that since she had to go, it was at least peaceful and quick, and somewhere we were all as calm and comfortable as we could have been.

Reading it back, I suppose what I've written above sounds quite collected - just wish that were actually the case....

Craphouserat

Original Poster:

1,494 posts

200 months

Thursday 9th October 2014
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CAPP0 said:
Thanks TLJ, In return I can tell you that I have 2 sons both older than you, and I've been unable to hold it all together on several occasions since yesterday lunchtime. Telling people is the hardest thing and has so far floored me each time I've had to do it. I've resorted to texting the news for now.

I realise this next bit might make things a bit dusty near a few PH computers, but in the end, we were out in the garden, on the lawn in the sunshine. On Monday Duffy was well enough to go for two walks, on one of which she was cantering about happily, but something happened to her overnight and that was when we knew it was time. She always loved the outdoors and yesterday for some unknown reason she had led me out there just before the vet arrived. When the vet got there, she was not in a good way, but, at 36kg, she was curled up on my lap, something which she never did, and I had my arms around her just holding her (which again she had never liked, she hated being constrained) as the vet did what he had to do, and she passed like that. It's hideous, and both MrsC and I are, frankly, distraught, but I can at least hold on to the fact that since she had to go, it was at least peaceful and quick, and somewhere we were all as calm and comfortable as we could have been.

Reading it back, I suppose what I've written above sounds quite collected - just wish that were actually the case....
I'm so sorry for you both. It truly is haeartbreaking. Can barely see my keyboard right now remembering Ozz slip away. Take some comfort you were at home. nearly 3 weeks now and it's only getting a bit easier for me. Hard to believe I think humans are a heartless selfish bunch....yet here I am shedding tears because I know what someone else is going through. Animals bring the best out of all of us. I truly hope one day I can meet my lost pets again one day...i like to think that when my time comes i will anyway.

Remember all the good times you shared with her and you you were there for each other. You will be able to think of her without getting to upset soon. I'm just getting there...just.

Take care.

CAPP0

19,533 posts

202 months

Thursday 9th October 2014
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Cheers Barry, you too.

bexVN

14,682 posts

210 months

Thursday 9th October 2014
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CAPPO I am so sorry to read that you had to say goodbye to your much loved four legged friend. Such a tough time, the right decision but still so hard. Good that you could be with her at the end
Take care, it's going to take time but you will smile at her memories again one day (she says with tears in her eyes a yr after saying goodbye to our dear Jimmy!!)

sanf

673 posts

171 months

Monday 13th October 2014
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It's amazing the gap you feel when a pet isn't there anymore. We've lost both our cats in the space of a month, both sadly run over. They arrived together, and have gone close together after 4 years. I never realised how attached to cats you can get. Our two were brother and sister - she was the runt and stayed tiny, but seemed far more intelligent, he was big, clumsy and a bit daft. They really were ace and managed to become such a key part of the family - when I'm away with work the cats would keep my wife company and Dana (the little one) tended to spend every evening curled up with my middle daughter.

When Dana was hit last month - she survied the initial hit, and was taken to the vets (by neighbours), my wife turned up with our kids and was able to sit with Dana, talk to her and stroke her while she was put to sleep-despite being paralysed and in pain when she heard my wife talking she purred when she was stroked. We brought her home and were able to say farewell.

That left us with Fox - he didn't seem to miss Dana too much and enjoyed getting all the extra fuss. He ventured out a bit less, and just seemed very content with our company - on Saturday he spent the evening curled up on my lap in front of the telly. On Sunday he was hit and killed outright - just out side the house. After Dana, we had already agreed that we weren't going to get any more cats - our road just doesn't suit them - the field across the road attracts them hunting. But I really thought we would have Fox around for much longer - he seemed to be sticking to the back garden or with us. I'm absolutely gutted - having worked at home today the house is quieter - no cat trying to stand on my laptop, curl up on the book case or on my lap.

So having had 2 cats just a month ago we now have none - they are burried next to each other in the back garden. I really miss them - dodn't realise just how attahed you can become to cats.

Craphouserat

Original Poster:

1,494 posts

200 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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sanf said:
It's amazing the gap you feel when a pet isn't there anymore. We've lost both our cats in the space of a month, both sadly run over. They arrived together, and have gone close together after 4 years. I never realised how attached to cats you can get. Our two were brother and sister - she was the runt and stayed tiny, but seemed far more intelligent, he was big, clumsy and a bit daft. They really were ace and managed to become such a key part of the family - when I'm away with work the cats would keep my wife company and Dana (the little one) tended to spend every evening curled up with my middle daughter.

When Dana was hit last month - she survied the initial hit, and was taken to the vets (by neighbours), my wife turned up with our kids and was able to sit with Dana, talk to her and stroke her while she was put to sleep-despite being paralysed and in pain when she heard my wife talking she purred when she was stroked. We brought her home and were able to say farewell.

That left us with Fox - he didn't seem to miss Dana too much and enjoyed getting all the extra fuss. He ventured out a bit less, and just seemed very content with our company - on Saturday he spent the evening curled up on my lap in front of the telly. On Sunday he was hit and killed outright - just out side the house. After Dana, we had already agreed that we weren't going to get any more cats - our road just doesn't suit them - the field across the road attracts them hunting. But I really thought we would have Fox around for much longer - he seemed to be sticking to the back garden or with us. I'm absolutely gutted - having worked at home today the house is quieter - no cat trying to stand on my laptop, curl up on the book case or on my lap.

So having had 2 cats just a month ago we now have none - they are burried next to each other in the back garden. I really miss them - dodn't realise just how attahed you can become to cats.
That is a sad story. I'm feel for you - the attachment we have to animals is unique. Like I said earlier I have been more upset over my dog than I was with my grandparents. Even just last night...after nearly 4 weeks I had a "moment" when I was thinking about him. But I am now looking at other dogs.

Can't you keep some cats in the home? I think there is a thread about keeping cats in the garden and how to keep them in there. I hope you feel a bit better soon...and maybe get another pet.

Best wishes.

Barry

CAPP0

19,533 posts

202 months

Wednesday 22nd October 2014
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We collected Duffy's ashes from the vet yesterday. I was doing fine at the vet's counter until the lady very carefully handed me the box, looked me straight in the eye and said "take care". A simple gesture, but it knocked me slightly sideways. Just as bad when I got home.

Duffy is now upstairs (where she was NEVER allowed) and on the spare bed (where she was DEFINITELY never allowed) wink We had discussed what to do, and thought that we would scatter her in the sea, as the beach and the sea (or any water at all really) were her absolute favourite place. It does feel like that would be parting with her all over again and now we're not so sure. Plenty of time though I guess, we will just wait and think until we're ready.


moorx

3,482 posts

113 months

Wednesday 22nd October 2014
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I just wanted to send my sympathies to you both for your recent losses. I've been through it myself several times, and it is horrible. The price we pay for loving our pets frown

And if it's any comfort - the only times I have ever seen my dad cry (6' plus, ex-mechanic) is when my parents have had to have dogs put to sleep.

CAPP0

19,533 posts

202 months

Wednesday 22nd October 2014
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Thanks Clare...

Craphouserat

Original Poster:

1,494 posts

200 months

Wednesday 22nd October 2014
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Good to hear from you Cappo.

Thew ashes bit is not easy mate. I was exactly the same as you when I picked Ozz up. Cathereine cried I manged to hold off until the car - the waiting room was busy and it all went quiet when they seen the box....which although is very nice that didn't matter.

I am only really now able to think more clearly about him without welling up...but believe me I still have my moments. We have a great picture of him trotting through a field away from us as start up pic on the laptop...might have to change it because I keep thinking of him walking out of our life...but then I think that is where he is now...happy in that field trotting arouund. Still not got the big pictures we got done in frames yet...and that must be around 6 weeks.

Miss him every single day and I don't think any dog will match him...but my god they leave such a hole as you well know. You and your family will still have your moments of tears but hopefully there will be some laughter too. We're getting with being able to laugh about the wee bugger...but it's not easy at times. Today I'm at home doing the housework on a rest day...I swear I still hear him on the wooden floors - or sometimes see him darting under the bed when the hoover goes on !

Maybe I'm a bit daft but they're always with us mate.

Take care.