Adultery, Off Duty BiB given a hiding, Mexican Stand-off

Adultery, Off Duty BiB given a hiding, Mexican Stand-off

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Discussion

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

2,952 posts

131 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Firstly, I'm not married so this definitely isn't about me, Secondly this might all be hypothetical.

Say you were married and discovered your wife was having an affair with a serving BiB, you are hurt and intend to leave her. She, however, begs to you stay stating that BiB will not leave his wife and has begged your wife not to ruin his marriage. Result, at this point, your life ruined and BiB off scot free.

In anger you threaten to tell BIB's wife. BiB pulls the "job" card. (ie me and my colleagues will sort u out if you mess one of us up). Your response is to take day off, text BiB on wife's phone to come see her at the house, jump him when he gets there and beat the st out of him.

BiB is recovering from injuries while off work with "stress". You have heard nothing and have not been tugged so are assuming BiB isn't complaining as he doesn't want his wife to find out. Plod thumped, wronged hubby can't complain as a serious assault charge may result.

Over and done with?
Also, from a legal perspective, is thumping an off duty BiB any different form thumping anyone else?

I have a feeling matey boy has blown it. Should have complained to BiB's management and told his wife. This would have done a stload more damage. I also have a feeling that regardless of whether or not the recipient of the kicking deserved it or not long term if it's a BiB there will be consequences eventually.

Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Saturday 20th September 23:59

Mojooo

12,668 posts

179 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
I imagine thumping an off duty BIB is no different to a non BIB (dunno for sure though) - but as you say - said person may then find the BIb spends extra time looking for reasons to find something on the thumper.

Not sure why you would tell BIBs manager unless they have a rule that says they shouldn't have affairs.

Edited by Mojooo on Saturday 20th September 15:16

Rovinghawk

13,300 posts

157 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Mojooo said:
Not sure why you would tell BIBs manager unless they have a rule that says they shouldn't have affairs.
"BiB pulls the 'job' card"

Sounds like abuse of position therefore very much within the manager's remit.

Mk3Spitfire

2,921 posts

127 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Hopefully bib recovers, and decides to make complaint about you, sorry, the hypothetical man.
Adultery - to each his own.
Pulling Bib card - if really true, stupid and wrong.
ABH/GBH totally wrong and shouldn't be condoned on a public forum.

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

2,952 posts

131 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Mk3Spitfire said:
ABH/GBH totally wrong and shouldn't be condoned on a public forum.
Tannedbaldhead said:
I have a feeling matey boy has blown it. Should have complained to BiB's management and told his wife. This would have done a stload more damage. I also have a feeling that regardless of whether or not the recipient of the kicking deserved it or not long term if it's a BiB there will be consequences eventually.

citizensm1th

8,371 posts

136 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
conduct unbecoming of a police officer/ bringing the police force in to disrepute

BiB probably wont report the beating due to the crap he would get from work colleges and his superiors

and surely it was not a fight per say but a tussle that ended up in said BiB falling down some steps resulting in his injuries and your "friend" never set out to do more than talk to BiB about his affair with "friends" wife but was forced to defend himself after BiB becoming aggressive after said "friend" was not intimidated by threats from "BiB"

anything else is BiB trying to pin one on the cuckolded husband.

TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Why would you be bothered about the other man. He doesn't owe you anything, he never made you any promises and never entered into a contract with you. It's the cheating spouse that's your problem.

PugwasHDJ80

7,522 posts

220 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Why would you be bothered about the other man. He doesn't owe you anything, he never made you any promises and never entered into a contract with you. It's the cheating spouse that's your problem.
this all over

what is the matter with some people- the BiB didn't do anything to your mate, it was your mates wife. Its not up to any third party to ensure anybodyies marriage is in good order

anonymous-user

53 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Hitting the officer off-duty is no different to anyone else unless he was acting in the execution of his duty, which he were not.

Regardless of occupations or anything else, they both clearly have concerns and risk to themselves. Your friend for assault and the person he's hit whose wife may find out.

Could you not facilitate a conversation / arrangement to leave things as they are without any further issues?

thetrash

1,847 posts

205 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
PugwasHDJ80 said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Why would you be bothered about the other man. He doesn't owe you anything, he never made you any promises and never entered into a contract with you. It's the cheating spouse that's your problem.
this all over

what is the matter with some people- the BiB didn't do anything to your mate, it was your mates wife. Its not up to any third party to ensure anybodyies marriage is in good order
This again, why blame the other bloke. It's your mates short comings that that meant she went elsewhere.

As for trying to report the Bib for having an affair to his boss, that won't go very far as it's very,very common in the Police.

anonymous-user

53 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
thetrash said:
that won't go very far as it's very,very common in the Police.
I've always wondered this. Is it any worse than other similar-sized work environments? Who knows. I expect human behaviour and predictability trumps specific environment.

Greendubber

13,129 posts

202 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
La Liga said:
've always wondered this. Is it any worse than other similar-sized work environments? Who knows. I expect human behaviour and predictability trumps specific environment.
There was way more shagging in my past occupations than the police. Mainly because a lot of the girls at work prefer the company of other girls and the blokes don't want to have to give half their pension to a scorned ex wife.

It's really not that common, a lot of people are married to or in relationships with other bobbies but that's not shagging about.


CMYKguru

3,017 posts

174 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
This reminds me of a quote from the Grandad in Only Fools when Rodney was dating a copper.

"Those people are never off duty, it's in the Magna Carta or summit"

Would say that hitting a plod even for a domestic while off duty would evoke the same response as if he was on duty.

You will get the book thrown at you

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

2,952 posts

131 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
La Liga said:
thetrash said:
that won't go very far as it's very,very common in the Police.
. Is it any worse than other similar-sized work environments? .
Can't be worse than construction where the lads work on contracts away from home on a regular basis.

Jon1967x

7,175 posts

123 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Tannedbaldhead said:
In anger you threaten to tell BIB's wife. BiB pulls the "job" card.
Could be construed as an attempt at blackmail - BiB points out that as a copper he's not going to take that.





mph1977

12,467 posts

167 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
at the point the BiB made the threat , involve PSD ... they love nothing better than a warrant waver who can;t keep his knob in his pants ...

Jasandjules

69,825 posts

228 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
thetrash said:
As for trying to report the Bib for having an affair to his boss, that won't go very far as it's very,very common in the Police.
I assumed it was more a report the guy for playing the "Job" card.....

photosnob

1,339 posts

117 months

Saturday 20th September 2014
quotequote all
Time scales are important - it its been a week and your "friend" hasn't been picked up then he is probably okay.

In court the prosecution will have to explain why the complaint was only made after a certain amount of time... Saying it's because he didn't want his wife to find out about an affair is not going to look great to a jury. It could also be argued by the defence that it's a malicious rumour made up to hurt the man who's wife he has been banging. So I wouldn't worry about it going any further - if arrested ask for duty solicitor and follow their advice. Don't tell them the whole truth (solicitor) they can't advise you to lie, tell them what you are comfortable with...

Pulling job card isn't cool - but he was probably desperately trying to save his marriage. That would be explained away, unless there are texts or videos of him doing it. So I wouldn't try and go down that route.

Sounds to me like you need to call it quits. Leave your cheating wife and move on. You have been lucky - whilst it wouldn't be assault/abh/gbh police, as they have to be in the execution of their duty, a judge wouldn't take too kindly to you luring a bloke to a good hiding and his job would probably make a difference. If you had been collared for it you would probably be doing some time.

dingg

3,974 posts

218 months

Sunday 21st September 2014
quotequote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Why would you be bothered about the other man. He doesn't owe you anything, he never made you any promises and never entered into a contract with you. It's the cheating spouse that's your problem.
100% - its the wife who is the problem

mph1977

12,467 posts

167 months

Sunday 21st September 2014
quotequote all
photosnob said:
<snip>
Pulling job card isn't cool - but he was probably desperately trying to save his marriage. That would be explained away, unless there are texts or videos of him doing it. So I wouldn't try and go down that route.
<snip>
but the reg 9 notice will follow him around for months if not years , even if it's NFAd .