Commiting GBH on a "ped" rider: What will I get ?

[gpo746]

Fed up of the noise they make. The other night all I could hear was this razzling noise like a wasp being amplified.
ruined my enjoyment of Tomorrow Never Dies
If I take decisive action and beat a couple up with a cricket bat what sort of sentence would I get ?

[NicD]

a CBE, for services to the nation perhaps?

[TheEnd]

Depends if they find the bodies.

Remember, any kind of sound recording equipment within about 6 miles would have picked up the signature redlining noise, so it might be tricky to get away with.

[calibrax]

A pat on the back and a medal for exemplary service to the community?

Seriously though, what do you think will happen...?

[frumpytrickle]

gpo746 said:

Fed up of the noise they make. The other night all I could hear was this razzling noise like a wasp being amplified.
ruined my enjoyment of Tomorrow Never Dies
If I take decisive action and beat a couple up with a cricket bat what sort of sentence would I get ?

Small reward and your name in the paper?

[calibrax]

Someone could make a lot of money by inventing a device that is triggered by the high pitched moped sound, and then extends a length of fishing line across the street at moped rider's neck height. They could sell it with a free mop & bucket to clear away the blood and helmeted heads...

[gpo746]

I'll be honest I actually thought it was me getting older and grumpy, the wife thinks the same but she's five years younger than me so maybe same thing.
We have some new neighbours nice young couple and I get on well with them, dunno how it came about we just got talking and I helped them with their garden, I get invited to their BBQ;'s and we do get on well. I was quite surprised when the girl said to me "don't those peds get on your nerves at a nightime"- I didn't know they were called "peds" so actually asked what she meant. When she explained I was a bit taken aback and the wife burst out laughing as we both said we had thought it was us getting old and grumpy but she (the neighbour) said no its just so annoying.
Its like a craze that has sprung up this year.

[Tannedbaldhead]

gpo746 said:

Fed up of the noise they make. The other night all I could hear was this razzling noise like a wasp being amplified.

You must never EVER move to France.

[Tribal Chestnut]

They used to bother me, not anymore though.

[gpo746]

Tribal Chestnut said:

They used to bother me, not anymore though.

Are you the one who just offered me some lengths of razor wire and some concrete based metal posts ?

[Tribal Chestnut]

Nah, I just hide between parked cats and shove sticks in their wheels.

[askew]

calibrax said:

Someone could make a lot of money by inventing a device that is triggered by the high pitched moped sound, and then extends a length of fishing line across the street at moped rider's neck height. They could sell it with a free mop & bucket to clear away the blood and helmeted heads...

Heh, I can recommend you watch Ridley Scott's latest: The Counselor.

[Cfnteabag]

Tribal Chestnut said:

Nah, I just hide between parked cats and shove sticks in their wheels.

How do you hide behind a cat?

[gpo746]

Cfnteabag said:

Tribal Chestnut said:

Nah, I just hide between parked cats and shove sticks in their wheels.

How do you hide behind a cat?

Don't be harsh. The man is a genius and has provided me with some sound advice

[Humper]

Cfnteabag said:

Tribal Chestnut said:

Nah, I just hide between parked cats and shove sticks in their wheels.

How do you hide behind a cat?

Never mind that, how do you park one?

[wildoliver]

Glue.

[covboy]

Cfnteabag said:

How do you hide behind a cat?

Must still be lots of Moggies around that way !

[QBee]

We keep getting buzzed by the Red Arrows and the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight, flying right over the garden at 200 feet. Somehow it never annoys me, however often it happens.

[GadgeS3C]

QBee said:

We keep getting buzzed by the Red Arrows and the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight, flying right over the garden at 200 feet. Somehow it never annoys me, however often it happens.

Now that should increase property values

[Roverload]

If it's your first offence you'll probably get away with it pretty lightly, so just make sure you get as many as possible first time! Put a McDonalds sign above your house, If you build it, they will come...