Family law/court advice please
Discussion
Afternoon, my girlfriend has children with her ex husband, he see's the kids sometimes once a week but will make a point of only having one of the children at a time to be awkward so she cant go out or do things herself. He is very abusive and we have called the police on a couple of occasions. Is there some kind of access order to enable him set access times and some kind of structure - does this have to be done via the courts or can we apply ourselves? Legal aid still available?
thanks
thanks
You can apply for a contact order using forms available from Court.
http://www.separateddads.co.uk/how-can-i-obtain-co...
Fortunately I haven't needed to do this.
Family courts are a bit more supportive of you representing yourself (this I do know from personal experience)
http://www.separateddads.co.uk/how-can-i-obtain-co...
Fortunately I haven't needed to do this.
Family courts are a bit more supportive of you representing yourself (this I do know from personal experience)
wjwren said:
Afternoon, my girlfriend has children with her ex husband, he see's the kids sometimes once a week but will make a point of only having one of the children at a time to be awkward so she cant go out or do things herself. He is very abusive and we have called the police on a couple of occasions. Is there some kind of access order to enable him set access times and some kind of structure - does this have to be done via the courts or can we apply ourselves? Legal aid still available?
thanks
There are a couple of choices really but the first thing that you must all realise is that He has no rights to see the Children. The law states that the Children have a right to see Him. thanks
If you want it Ordered by the Courts, you can apply for this yourselves, you will then be expected to try and resolve this amicable by the CAFCASS service, and if managed, an Order will be drawn up without a fight.
If however, he has been abusive, disruptive etc and generally trying to be controlling by his 'use' of the Children, I would sadly be more inclined to provide Him 'Terms' by which he has both children at the same agreed time or he doesn't have them at all. Then it is his choice to take you to Court (and spend His money doing so) whereby the outcome above will still occur and the Court will Oredr what is best for the children and not for him anyway! Either way, he stands to lose the most in this (excpet for the kids of course).
I'm no legal eagle btw. I am a Dad that has been through every inconceviable option including Court orders, and the enforcement of them in order to keep my access open so my daughter knows that her Dad will always be that, her Dad :-)
Whatever you do, try and avoid having anything to do with CAFCASS. They are the most inept and ridiculous service that I have ever had the misfortune to come across and a damning indictment of everything that is wrong with the public sector in this country.
One of my best mates had dealings with them - 3 court visits wasted because the idiot at CAFCASS hadn't written or submitted his reports to the court. They had a lot to do with him missing 2 birthdays and Christmas with his young daughter and costing him in the region of £20k to see his daughter
Unfortunately ex's are hard work - I know the feeling, and for him to split the children like that is immature and spiteful, and of more detriment to the kids than anyone else. Sounds like a t
t tbh.
My best guess is that, given time, the kids will make their own minds up (and yes, I have seen this happen too). How old are they?
Other advice would be to try and avoid confrontation in front of the kids and don't complain about dad in front of them - he is still their dad and they will only resent it. Best to let nature take its course (and if he is as you say then I am pretty sure that it will)
One of my best mates had dealings with them - 3 court visits wasted because the idiot at CAFCASS hadn't written or submitted his reports to the court. They had a lot to do with him missing 2 birthdays and Christmas with his young daughter and costing him in the region of £20k to see his daughter
Unfortunately ex's are hard work - I know the feeling, and for him to split the children like that is immature and spiteful, and of more detriment to the kids than anyone else. Sounds like a t
t tbh.My best guess is that, given time, the kids will make their own minds up (and yes, I have seen this happen too). How old are they?
Other advice would be to try and avoid confrontation in front of the kids and don't complain about dad in front of them - he is still their dad and they will only resent it. Best to let nature take its course (and if he is as you say then I am pretty sure that it will)
V8forweekends said:
+1 for CAFCASS - I thought the legal system was bad until I saw these clowns in action. Fortunately not my kids involved, my Sister's but they are useless worthless oxygen thieves.
+2 Dreadful organisation and along with the CSA the two most inept set of people I have ever dealt with.
I would suggest any form of order is perhaps not the place to start at the moment.
How old are the children? What is his behaviour like when alone with the children?
It's hard to give good advice on the limited information provided but I would suggest your partner speaks with her ex about contact. She needs to outline what she feels is in the best interests of the children and speak with him about why he feels he can't have both together. If they are young perhaps he may struggle with both?
However half an hour with a family solicitor would be a good idea, just be aware they are struggling for work at the moment!
If you go to court you might end up with something nobody wants, my dealings with CAFCASS have always been positive but that is clearly not true for everybody. However they often get a bad rep from the "losing" parent.
How old are the children? What is his behaviour like when alone with the children?
It's hard to give good advice on the limited information provided but I would suggest your partner speaks with her ex about contact. She needs to outline what she feels is in the best interests of the children and speak with him about why he feels he can't have both together. If they are young perhaps he may struggle with both?
However half an hour with a family solicitor would be a good idea, just be aware they are struggling for work at the moment!
If you go to court you might end up with something nobody wants, my dealings with CAFCASS have always been positive but that is clearly not true for everybody. However they often get a bad rep from the "losing" parent.
wjwren said:
Afternoon, my girlfriend has children with her ex husband, he see's the kids sometimes once a week but will make a point of only having one of the children at a time to be awkward so she cant go out or do things herself. He is very abusive and we have called the police on a couple of occasions. Is there some kind of access order to enable him set access times and some kind of structure - does this have to be done via the courts or can we apply ourselves? Legal aid still available?
thanks
How does this work then given that they still all apparently live in the same house?thanks
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
You cannot apply for a contact order if the father lives with his children!
PurpleMoonlight said:
How does this work then given that they still all apparently live in the same house?
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
You cannot apply for a contact order if the father lives with his children!
I'd read that again if I were you, he left in January according to that link.http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
You cannot apply for a contact order if the father lives with his children!
wjwren said:
yes they are married but been living separate for nearly 2 years.
On another post you said that they had been living together and he only moved out in January. Whatever the story is (and I think there is a lot more to this) tell your girlfriend to go and speak with a family solicitor for half an hour. I might be getting the wrong end of the stick - but you and I presume your partner don't seem to be concerned about the welfare of the kids as much as her having some free time. A court can't make a man have all the kids at once. If the kids are happy and he is comfortable not taking them all out, then don't spoil that. I certainly couldn't look after 4 kids at once. If she needs free time tell her to get a babysitter.
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