Do you spare change for the homeless?

[BrabusMog]

jogger1976 said:

BrabusMog said:

No, it will happen to weak willed people who can't seek help. I have noted a strong pattern amongst the apologists in this thread.

Firstly,who said I was apologising?

You clearly didn't read my earlier post. I stated quite clearly that most people on the streets, at least during the daytime, are addicts that are generally quite canny and manipulative individuals. I'd like to think that is a fact, backed up by 7 years working with such individuals on a daily basis, rather than an apology.

Secondly, my latest post quite clearly states that the majority of people who I work with and who happen to have found themselves homeless for the reasons I've already given, are NOT weak willed. I think it takes a fair bit of will power to complete a plumbing apprenticeship or set up your own business from scratch. In fact, many of these people struggle on for years trying to keep things together, before it all becomes too much.

But hey fk em, cos there just weak willed any way,right?

Yep, pretty much, they were able to finish courses when they had a support system, remove that and they fall by the wayside.

I speak from experience, by the way.

[Scousefella]

I live in Colchester, Essex but my username gives away my origins.

One time (no, not at bandcamp) when visiting family in Liverpool I went to the LFC shop in the city centre to purchase some kit.

Opposite is a café (Sayers iirc), sitting in the alcove near the café was a chap who obviously spends his nights on that portion of pavement.

As I walked nearby he asked for some change - I had nothing but my debit card. Offered him breakfast from the café and his eyes lit up. I went in, ordered the biggest take out breakfast/coffee they did and placed it in his hands - he was over the moon.

I felt rather grand it has to be said, such a small gesture in the grand scheme of things and yet the impact was significant.

I am back in Liverpool next month and will be buying at the LFC shop again - should he be there then I will happily do the same again.

[chilistrucker]

Landlord said:

Purity14 said:

I live in Liverpool city centre...

...but ALL of them are wearing more expensive trainers than me.

And their shell suits?

chilistrucker said:

Story about a tramp not verbally showing gratitude

Perhaps he was a proponent of the theory of true altruism and didn't want to tarnish the purity of your altruism by implying you expected explicit thanks.

A mate of mine was staying in another city one weekend and on returning to his hotel at night got approached by a female "tramp". He looked her up and down and said "Do you fancy a shower and a bowl of soup?". Apparently she said yes and he ended up banging her... after the shower and before the soup, I imagine. Sounds made up but the situations this mate has been in that I've witnessed would often be unbelievable had I heard them second-hand. That one is a tame one.

Perhaps you're right.
I'd like you to remove how you've quoted me though please. The post I made is clearly not about a tramp not verbally showing gratitude, read it again and its clear to see that its just a story that was a reply to the original post.

I once used my wagon to block lanes 2 and 3 of the m62 to protect a car that was smashed to pieces and sideways on in the central reservation. Then with the help of 1 other motorist, (most just rubber necked) managed to force the front doors open to find a collapsed older man across the seats. He had no pulse and was unconscious so we had to make a split decision to lay him across the front seats and give him cpr and mouth to mouth. After about 2 mins he took a gasp of air and there was a faint pulse, but 2 mins later we lost him again, so restarted the cpr/mouth to mouth for a few minutes until the 1st emergency services vehicle turned up and 2 fireman took over until the paramedics arrived. Myself and the other guy then just sat back and watched events unfold, more emergency services, air ambulance etc. The police needed us to stay as they wanted statements, our details etc as they were still unclear as if the old boy was going to pull through or not

^^^^^ bit off topic I know, but my point is with this, aswell as the tramp story is I do things just because.
I don't do things expecting a thankyou.

[broken biscuit]

There has been a beggar in our local town for some time. He stays around until he is hounded out by repeated arrests for begging by the police. He then goes across the county border to the next town, and does the same. He has an ASBO not to beg in one county, and more pending from surrounding counties. This might sound harsh, but putting his name in Google and the word 'begging' found numerous court appearances dating back 5+ years. In that time I know for a fact that he had supported housing in several towns, as I have visited others in the block. The other thing he has had, and still uses as his excuse (according to the media reports at court) is a heroin addiction. This guy I have zero sympathy for - he has had supported and independent accommodation provided by the council in several towns, and has either declared it not good enough for him, or trashed it, leaving it unfit to live in. He would rather sleep in a cardboard box in the council doorway, and be repeatedly arrested than get off the heroin. I have no sympathy for him whatsoever, and I would rather put money down the drain than see him have it, knowing it would be cooked and stuck in his vein once he's begged enough for a bag.
Amazing what you can learn talking to the genuinely homeless (another local was kicked out by mrs, lost job and everything went downhill, but not drinking/using - and as I know of his ex, I have no reason to disbeleive him!!)

[mph1977]

jogger1976 said:

BrabusMog said:

No, it will happen to weak willed people who can't seek help. I have noted a strong pattern amongst the apologists in this thread.

Firstly,who said I was apologising?

You clearly didn't read my earlier post. I stated quite clearly that most people on the streets, at least during the daytime, are addicts that are generally quite canny and manipulative individuals. I'd like to think that is a fact, backed up by 7 years working with such individuals on a daily basis, rather than an apology.

Secondly, my latest post quite clearly states that the majority of people who I work with and who happen to have found themselves homeless for the reasons I've already given, are NOT weak willed. I think it takes a fair bit of will power to complete a plumbing apprenticeship or set up your own business from scratch. In fact, many of these people struggle on for years trying to keep things together, before it all becomes too much.

But hey fk em, cos there just weak willed any way,right?

'Pride' is one of the seven deadly sins and 'sloth' is not just about physical laziness but also spiritual 'laziness' .

professionals who confuse empoathy and sympathy fail to get the best therapeutic relationship ...

[WinstonWolf]

BrabusMog said:

WinstonWolf said:

BrabusMog said:

jogger1976 said:

To all the posters on here smugly proclaiming "It could never happen to me because I'm too affluent/successful/well educated/have a network of family and friends" you really need to spend a week in my world and meet clients on my caseload who have fallen a VERY long way.

And before anyone says that they're all chavs from sink estates who couldn't be arsed at school, let me tell you that most, if not all, are either skilled trades people, (plumbers, carpenters, etc) professionals (dentists, accountants, engineers), or entrepreneurs and business owners.
Most have supportive, loving families, but feel ashamed and estrange themselves. Some due to ongoing mental ill health and self medication with drink and drugs, become dysfunctional and cannot manage themselves, or their relationships Eventually there job becomes too much, they fall behind with the rent/mortgage and are evicted.

Some manage to regain these relationships. Sadly many never do.
From this position, homelessness, however brief, is a real possibility

It can happen to anyone folks.

No, it will happen to weak willed people who can't seek help. I have noted a strong pattern amongst the apologists in this thread.

So, exactly what is your qualification to say that?

Do you really see entrepreneurs as weak willed?

What about the teacher I posted about who lost his entire family in a fire?

I'd say you've never faced real adversity in your entire life...

I hate to sound blunt but these are all indications of a weak will. The mere fact that you could not seek help when you fall upon hard times is pathetic. I have no sympathy.

You don't sound blunt, you just sound like a complete and utter . "Nobby" lost his entire family in a hose fire, he couldn't bring himself to sleep in a house again.

I'm guessing you struggle talking to people in the real world...

[wildcat45]

No two people are the same. No two sets of circumstances match. Bad luck, mental health, and self indulgence can all bring someone to the point of begging. Separate causes, same result.

Some homeless people are utter drug scum. Some may be people who you'd like to know.

I know a man who ended on the streets. One of the nicest and at the time successful people I knew.

It started when he got made redundant from his good job. He got a job straight away at our local behind the bar. Soon rose to become a duty manager, but his marriage failed. He liked a drink, but too solace in the bottle. He got sacked from the pub. A long story short, he ended up sleeping in the local park.

An honest decent man. Maybe weak willed, maybe addicted to drink, maybe mentally I'll.

But that is just one story. It doesn't mean the man next to him has the same story.

For every tale of good there is bad.

I had just bought a burger to eat while waiting to meet a friend at a station on a cold miserable afternoon. I'd not taken a bite when a man asked for change for food. I offered him the burger. He took it, took a bite and with full mouth asked if I could give him miney too. I now regret this, but I batted the burger out of. His hand and told him to fk off.

It doen't mean they are all like that.

A mate was approached by a tearful scruffy girl on a station. Could he lend her the fare for a train ticket? Something told him, maybe her accent or manner that she may be genuine. Where she wanted to go was not far so he offered to buy her a one way ticket for the next train. He gave her his business card so she could repay him as promised.

Off she went. He thought as he was treating this as an experiment in honesty that he'd probably never see the cash again.

That night, he got a call, from the girl's Dad thanking him for helping his daughter. Shed got into a bad abusive relationship and had gone off the rails cutting all contact with them. My jate had helped her escape a violent situation.

He got a letter of thanks, a cheque which was for more than the ticket and a card come Christmas.

He donated all the money -something like £50 to a homeless charity.

I don't give the homeless money. I'd buy anyone a coffee if they wanted one from the queen down to a smack head.

[boobles]

Please watch this video, it has opened my eyes up considerably.
Homeless guy willing to share his food.....


http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=252_1414002086

[ManFromDelmonte]

I like this one too, I don't believe in karma as such but it never hurts to do something nice for someone else:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYRS4FQXZrk

[boobles]

ManFromDelmonte said:

I like this one too, I don't believe in karma as such but it never hurts to do something nice for someone else:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYRS4FQXZrk

I like that...

[Landlord]

chilistrucker said:

I'd like you to remove how you've quoted me though please. The post I made is clearly not about a tramp not verbally showing gratitude, read it again and its clear to see that its just a story that was a reply to the original post.

Done. You're absolutely right, my "quote" was written for the sake of brevity but I admit I didn't think of how it could be interpreted negatively. A genuine mistake though - my intention was definitely not to imply that your post was a moan about not getting thanks. To be honest, my suggestion was tongue in cheek in the first place.

So, we cool, right?

[LiamB]

A little bump as I just gave some change to a nice guy that was in need. If I help a homeless person I normally only buy food and drink for them as I don't agree with giving money as it will normally just go on booze and drugs as highlighted on this thread already. But this guy was either a bloody good actor or he was in genuine need.

He came up to me as I was getting in my car and said sorry to bother me etc. He looked rough but was wearing a North Face Jacket and trainers, as always I was polite and asked what he wanted and if I could help, he went on to say his wife had royally fked him over and he had been on the streets for about a week or so, she kicked him out and sold all his stuff. He only wanted a couple of quid to get a B&B till monday as thats when he starts work again, he showed me all the change he had managed to get in the week but he was still short to get a B&B, he went on to say how humiliated and horrible he felt asking people and I just spent about 5 minutes with him chatting about his work trying to cheer him up as I could see he was just an emotional wreck and just needed someone to talk to. I then gave him all the change I could find in my car. He shook my hand and said if he see's me again he'll buy me a pint, he was genuinely really appreciative.

[sc0tt]

LiamB said:

A little bump as I just gave some change to a nice guy that was in need. If I help a homeless person I normally only buy food and drink for them as I don't agree with giving money as it will normally just go on booze and drugs as highlighted on this thread already. But this guy was either a bloody good actor or he was in genuine need.

He came up to me as I was getting in my car and said sorry to bother me etc. He looked rough but was wearing a North Face Jacket and trainers, as always I was polite and asked what he wanted and if I could help, he went on to say his wife had royally fked him over and he had been on the streets for about a week or so, she kicked him out and sold all his stuff. He only wanted a couple of quid to get a B&B till monday as thats when he starts work again, he showed me all the change he had managed to get in the week but he was still short to get a B&B, he went on to say how humiliated and horrible he felt asking people and I just spent about 5 minutes with him chatting about his work trying to cheer him up as I could see he was just an emotional wreck and just needed someone to talk to. I then gave him all the change I could find in my car. He shook my hand and said if he see's me again he'll buy me a pint, he was genuinely really appreciative.

And is now high as a kite young liam

[Driller]

boobles said:

Please watch this video, it has opened my eyes up considerably.
Homeless guy willing to share his food.....


http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=252_1414002086

Oh for goodness's sake, that's obviously a set up with actors and bad actors at that.

My rule is simple: 2 arms, 2 legs and a head= get a job, no money from me.

[DJFish]

I'll occasionally buy an extra pasty on nights and give it to the 'regular' bloke in the doorway of our building.
We also have a supply of tinned food in the office for disaster recovery purposes which gets donated to the soup kitchen round the corner when it's close to its sell-by date.
It's quite staggering how many people turn up every night for the soup kitchens.....

[Shaolin]

DJFish said:

We also have a supply of tinned food in the office for disaster recovery purposes

Zombie apocalypse? Good thinking.

[e21Mark]

Driller said:

boobles said:

Please watch this video, it has opened my eyes up considerably.
Homeless guy willing to share his food.....


http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=252_1414002086

Oh for goodness's sake, that's obviously a set up with actors and bad actors at that.

My rule is simple: 2 arms, 2 legs and a head= get a job, no money from me.

If you're homeless, with all your possessions in a bag, getting a job isn't always so simple. Especially is you've not had access to a shower and shave for a few days, let alone a decent meal. I take your point about finding work though, but meanwhile folk still need to eat / survive.

[LouD86]

If they are honest, they get more respect from me.

A chap who frequents the drinking nightspots in Portsmouth used to have a sign along the lines of

"Ill be honest, any money I get is spent on the dog and booze"

I felt the honesty was refreshing, and gave to him a few times

[Spanglepants]

I gave a bloke £2 the other week then went afterwards to get a Chinese take away. It came to £22.21.
I then realised I only had £20 and a few pence in my pocket, that'll teach me to think of others.

[GetCarter]

Saw a bloke begging with his dog last time I was in London, so I went and bought sandwiches and dog food and gave him that instead of cash for booze.