The pain of loss - how long?

Author
Discussion

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
Thnks Ali - feeling better today after yesterday's tears.

Guess I'll just have to get used to being a little unstable smile

Petrol Only

1,592 posts

174 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
ali_kat said:
I still miss Bast every day & it's been over 2 years

It's nothing like losing a parent, it's worse IMHO and although you can get another pet, they can never be replaced; like humans they have their own personality

Big hugs G xx
Really? I bloody hope not (for me). Lost my dad two years ago and still rather bitter. . My folks were wonderful. No animal could possibly compare for what they did for me.

Glad your feeling a bit better Gary. Not trying to be nasty just add some perspective smile

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
Petrol Only said:
Glad your feeling a bit better Gary. Not trying to be nasty just add some perspective smile
I understand, but to be honest we're on an animal forum so am not sure why you needed to make the comparison with parental loss. Sorry for your loss frown

Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 12th November 09:05

ali_kat

31,988 posts

220 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
Petrol Only said:
Really? I bloody hope not (for me). Lost my dad two years ago and still rather bitter. . My folks were wonderful. No animal could possibly compare for what they did for me.

Glad your feeling a bit better Gary. Not trying to be nasty just add some perspective smile
Yes, I could openly grieve when we lost Mum last November; but when it's your pet you're expected to hold it together as "it was only a dog/cat"; that makes it worse.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
I guess we're all going to suffer the pain in different ways and to different levels depending on many things.

Hugs to all who have lost - animals and humans - and let's hope the pain get's replaced with happy memories smile

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
Edit to add - my mum and dad have been awesome but they never gave me a wet patch on my carpet, not once wink

AB

16,969 posts

194 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
Rosie passed away in August last year. I was in bits.

We've replaced her (well we have another dog, she was irreplaceable) and I still look at a picture and feel that wave of upset.

Gets easier, never completely stops.

bexVN

14,682 posts

210 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
I don't think the two should be compared to be honest. It is what it is and no one can tell you how you should feel for each individual loss be it parent, child, partner or pet.

Petrol Only

1,592 posts

174 months

Wednesday 12th November 2014
quotequote all
Point noted. smile.

I used it as a comparison because it's what helps me deal with the loss of my dad. Rationalising it and saying it could have been much worse like x y and z's situation.

Hugs all round from me too. smile


As said though were all different.

Edited by Petrol Only on Wednesday 12th November 09:59

Lv2spd2

33 posts

117 months

Thursday 13th November 2014
quotequote all
As far as the releasing/scattering the ashes.

Remember you can only do that once, you can't take it back afterwards.

Not saying it is a bad idea, just make sure you are actually ready to do so before you do.


anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Thursday 13th November 2014
quotequote all
Lv2spd2 said:
As far as the releasing/scattering the ashes.

Remember you can only do that once, you can't take it back afterwards.

Not saying it is a bad idea, just make sure you are actually ready to do so before you do.
Thanks for the heads-up!

For me, it signifies releasing her to another life and to a time and place when she was fit and well so it is a very positive thing for me.

Richyboy

3,739 posts

216 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
quotequote all
Lost our dog yesterday, don't feel good.

bexVN

14,682 posts

210 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
quotequote all
Richyboy said:
Lost our dog yesterday, don't feel good.
I am so sorry to read this frown. I knew he was very poorly but I didn't think you'd have to say goodbye to him so quickly. Truly sorry for your loss.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
quotequote all
Richyboy said:
Lost our dog yesterday, don't feel good.
frown Sorry to hear that Richyboy.

It's 3 weeks today since I lost Jaz and although the pain is still there, the rawness is starting to fade.

Hang in there and thoughts are with you!

Jasandjules

69,825 posts

228 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
quotequote all
Richyboy said:
Lost our dog yesterday, don't feel good.
Sorry fella.

Just remember that you gave him a great life and when the time came, you did what was best for him, which is the kindest and most important thing we do for our pets.

I won't say that the pain will go completely, but it will ease over time.

moorx

3,481 posts

113 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
quotequote all
Jasandjules said:
Richyboy said:
Lost our dog yesterday, don't feel good.
Sorry fella.

Just remember that you gave him a great life and when the time came, you did what was best for him, which is the kindest and most important thing we do for our pets.

I won't say that the pain will go completely, but it will ease over time.
^^This. So sorry, I know how hard it is frown

CAPP0

19,533 posts

202 months

Wednesday 19th November 2014
quotequote all
Richyboy said:
Lost our dog yesterday, don't feel good.
As above, and also as one of the group of PHers to have lost a dog recently, I'm very sorry to hear this and thoughts are with you and yours. We were only talking about our poor old girl this evening - it's been about 5 weeks and we're just starting to be able to talk about her and smile at things we remember.

This group have all been amazingly supportive of each other and I'm sure we'll remain so - if you need to air anything, just fire away and we'll do what we can to help. There will be tough days to come, but less-sad days await beyond those.

garylythgoe

805 posts

221 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
quotequote all
Lost my dog Toby in March this year, and I was devastated.

I also lost my Grandma a week later, so the hurt and sadness multiplied significantly.

All I know is, I still miss him pretty much all the time, and I still think about him regularly.

I like to look at pics of him now, and remind myself of what a great pooch he was. I can't talk about it for too long, as it does upset me. Having him put down was a traumatic experience.

Time is a healer.

jesta1865

3,448 posts

208 months

Thursday 20th November 2014
quotequote all
Richyboy said:
Lost our dog yesterday, don't feel good.
sorry to hear this fella, hope you and the family are ok.

me, i have lost a few pets over the years, both cats and dogs, my last one being a dog almost 2 years ago.

i still get choked up if i think about the last sunday we had with her, she was a manic thing and on this sunday you would have thought she was a different dog.

i have never gone so long in my life without a dog or cat in it, but i am not ready for another (all rescue ones) don't know why, i love taking my parents dog for a walk, but the thought of another one in the house makes me feel too bad and guilty. the wife said never again, but now makes a fuss of dogs all the time.

i realise this may not be helping you guys, but it's actually helped me as i have never wrote it down anywhere.

time isn't a healer, it just makes it easier to remember the good times not the bad.

cheers

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 26th November 2014
quotequote all
I scattered Jaz's ashes on Saturday in the Thames at Pangbourne.

It was muddy as anything and I think she'll be laughing at me getting caked in mud just to give her a good send off, as this was the place she used to go to get covered in mud!

I said a few words, got a little teary, but it really helped to end that part of the grieving process.

I'm managing to have more happy thoughts and the pain, although still very strong, has more rounded edges these days.

See you in the next life Jaz!

Thanks for reading and take care everyone smile