How Would You Feel If I Did This To Your Child.
Discussion
FredClogs said:
Tannedbaldhead said:
FredClogs said:
You're out of order, mind you're own business you grouchy old fart, does it make you feel like a man making little kids cry? You're a bully.
No it didn't make me feel like a man. If I felt like a man I'd have strode off, powerfully built chest puffed out with pride thinking to myself "well done, that's that little bugger now knowing what's what and who's boss" rather than skulking off wondering if I went too far. I didn't look for or expect tears and was kind of surprised by the kid's reaction.
ked you up), you lost control.andy-xr said:
goldblum said:
andy-xr said:
We'd be like this, you and me
Wearing trunks and indulging in homoerotic play? Umm...pumped full of steroids, suffering from an enlarged heart and two days from an infarction?
What?
Tannedbaldhead said:
FredClogs said:
Tannedbaldhead said:
FredClogs said:
You're out of order, mind you're own business you grouchy old fart, does it make you feel like a man making little kids cry? You're a bully.
No it didn't make me feel like a man. If I felt like a man I'd have strode off, powerfully built chest puffed out with pride thinking to myself "well done, that's that little bugger now knowing what's what and who's boss" rather than skulking off wondering if I went too far. I didn't look for or expect tears and was kind of surprised by the kid's reaction.ked you up), you lost control.FredClogs said:
Well at least you're self aware enough to realise you were in the wrong, maybe you need an outlet for your aggression or some strategies for coping under stress. You failed yourself, both the boys, provided a poor role model and most of all put yourself at risk (I would have taken you to task, and my missus would have fked you up), you lost control.
How would you have dealt with the situation? (The kids and the dogs thing, not your wife fked you up), you lost control.king angry strangers at supermarkets, which must be a hell of a test of your character.)FredClogs said:
Well at least you're self aware enough to realise you were in the wrong, maybe you need an outlet for your aggression or some strategies for coping under stress. You failed yourself, both the boys, provided a poor role model and most of all put yourself at risk (I would have taken you to task, and my missus would have fked you up), you lost control.
I must admit, I've read some shyte on PH in my time on here but ^ has crystallised it.ked you up), you lost control.vournikas said:
FredClogs said:
Well at least you're self aware enough to realise you were in the wrong, maybe you need an outlet for your aggression or some strategies for coping under stress. You failed yourself, both the boys, provided a poor role model and most of all put yourself at risk (I would have taken you to task, and my missus would have fked you up), you lost control.
I must admit, I've read some shyte on PH in my time on here but ^ has crystallised it.ked you up), you lost control.And to put another spin on it. If that kid had done this to my dog.......by f
k I would have lost it. God help him if my missis got hold of him.....
Fully support you OP. Kids need educating. As said he may not have thought through the concequences of his actions but hopefully in future might do a mini risk assessment before doing silly things in future.
Slightly related on the dog front. It's amazing how many people just assume all dogs are for grabbing and cuddling. I spend a lot of time with rescue dogs that have various issues and have seen a few close calls.
Twice in the last month I have had women just grab my dog while I have been stood in queues. The dog goes into full on panic tries to get away and the women are still trying to get to it. I got stty looks and comments off them when I politely asked them to leave the dog alone.
And one incident with a child not wanting to leave it alone, I had told the kid to leave the dog numerous times and it wouldn't listen. Got to the point the dog was hiding behind me and the kid was trying to reach it through my legs. Asked the mother to intervene and she thought her child was fine doing what it was, he just wanted to play with the dog.
Dog finally had enough and let out a good bark, kid ran screaming, mother gave me abuse.
Nobody likes being told what to do or if they are wrong and generally take it badly or act defensively but later on will think about their actions and look not to repeat them in future so although it can be a bit intense at the time, pointing out people's mistakes is the right thing to do.
Slightly related on the dog front. It's amazing how many people just assume all dogs are for grabbing and cuddling. I spend a lot of time with rescue dogs that have various issues and have seen a few close calls.
Twice in the last month I have had women just grab my dog while I have been stood in queues. The dog goes into full on panic tries to get away and the women are still trying to get to it. I got s
tty looks and comments off them when I politely asked them to leave the dog alone. And one incident with a child not wanting to leave it alone, I had told the kid to leave the dog numerous times and it wouldn't listen. Got to the point the dog was hiding behind me and the kid was trying to reach it through my legs. Asked the mother to intervene and she thought her child was fine doing what it was, he just wanted to play with the dog.
Dog finally had enough and let out a good bark, kid ran screaming, mother gave me abuse.
Nobody likes being told what to do or if they are wrong and generally take it badly or act defensively but later on will think about their actions and look not to repeat them in future so although it can be a bit intense at the time, pointing out people's mistakes is the right thing to do.
For me the key point around your intervention is around the dog.
I love dogs, they are properly incredible creatures. We've got a lovely dog, she's soft as anything, effectively a child in a teddy bear suit.
HOWEVER.
She is an animal, and animals are, by their nature, unpredictable.You need to be careful around them, especially a dog as strong as a staffie. Whilst they are cracking family pets, they are incredibly strong dogs, and I'd doubt any of us keyboard warriors could defend ourselves immediately if one snapped, let alone a child.
Spraying coke over a dog and child, regardless of how calm and sedate the dog is, is nothing short of stupid behaviour, and if my son did it - unlikely, he's barely 1 - I'd be explaining in no uncertain terms why that was incredibly silly to do. The dog as others have said, could have panicked and attacked the child stroking it. Lets be clear, if that had happened, the child could have been maimed or killed. Sensationalist statement is sensationalist, but dogs are dangerous animals in the wrong circumstances, and this is one of them. Being tied to something means the dog can't get away, so its forced into a defensive/fear position more promptly.
You did the right thing to intervene, its a brave thing to do with someone elses children, especially in a public place, but maybe your methods were a little firm.
That said, the child clearly now realises doing that to a dog and child is a bad idea.
I love dogs, they are properly incredible creatures. We've got a lovely dog, she's soft as anything, effectively a child in a teddy bear suit.
HOWEVER.
She is an animal, and animals are, by their nature, unpredictable.You need to be careful around them, especially a dog as strong as a staffie. Whilst they are cracking family pets, they are incredibly strong dogs, and I'd doubt any of us keyboard warriors could defend ourselves immediately if one snapped, let alone a child.
Spraying coke over a dog and child, regardless of how calm and sedate the dog is, is nothing short of stupid behaviour, and if my son did it - unlikely, he's barely 1 - I'd be explaining in no uncertain terms why that was incredibly silly to do. The dog as others have said, could have panicked and attacked the child stroking it. Lets be clear, if that had happened, the child could have been maimed or killed. Sensationalist statement is sensationalist, but dogs are dangerous animals in the wrong circumstances, and this is one of them. Being tied to something means the dog can't get away, so its forced into a defensive/fear position more promptly.
You did the right thing to intervene, its a brave thing to do with someone elses children, especially in a public place, but maybe your methods were a little firm.
That said, the child clearly now realises doing that to a dog and child is a bad idea.
RB Will said:
And one incident with a child not wanting to leave it alone, I had told the kid to leave the dog numerous times and it wouldn't listen. Got to the point the dog was hiding behind me and the kid was trying to reach it through my legs. Asked the mother to intervene and she thought her child was fine doing what it was, he just wanted to play with the dog.
Dog finally had enough and let out a good bark, kid ran screaming, mother gave me abuse.
Sounds like my middle step-son. Instead of giving you abuse his mum should have bit him. Mine's never bothered a dog since.Dog finally had enough and let out a good bark, kid ran screaming, mother gave me abuse.
Terminator X said:
Whilst admirable in a way I don't think it is the done thing in 2014, should have left it to the parents imho. If I had seen you bking my kid I would have lumped you one and asked questions later especially so if you are either old, small or indeed feeble minded.
TX.
Nice example to set your kids. Do what you like, let no one tell you different. If they do then hit them even if they are smaller or weaker than you.king my kid I would have lumped you one and asked questions later especially so if you are either old, small or indeed feeble minded.TX.
You come across like a Chav mate.
I also wonder what memories must be made for a child seeing Daddy in cuffs being hauled away in the back of a police van.
As for asking questions later, I'd probably wouldn't be you. More likely a police officer in an interview room followed by a CPS barrister in a court room.
You also assume no self defence on the part of the adult.
Again another great memory for your kid of Daddy getting firmly put in his place by the adult.
Better surely to ask the adult what he thought the kid had done. Establish the facts and if it turned out the kid had been a little s
t, then deliver your own bking.Edited by wildcat45 on Tuesday 25th November 07:06
Terminator X said:
Whilst admirable in a way I don't think it is the done thing in 2014, should have left it to the parents imho. If I had seen you bking my kid I would have lumped you one and asked questions later especially so if you are either old, small or indeed feeble minded.
TX.
If only discipline could be left to parents. It's an increasingly rare sight whereas indulging and enabling the behaviour is on the rise.king my kid I would have lumped you one and asked questions later especially so if you are either old, small or indeed feeble minded.TX.
FredClogs said:
Well at least you're self aware enough to realise you were in the wrong, maybe you need an outlet for your aggression or some strategies for coping under stress. You failed yourself, both the boys, provided a poor role model and most of all put yourself at risk (I would have taken you to task, and my missus would have fked you up), you lost control.
Oh do fked you up), you lost control.k off. He hasn't admitted he was wrong at all, and nor should he because he was bang on. He is questioning himself because the kid snivelled, and because he is a decent guy who wants to do the right thing and be a responsible adult.Be in no doubt that every child has it in them to be a little s
t at times, especially when not observed by their parents. Hopefully because of TBH he will think twice next time.
The people replying with "kids cry at anything"... have you actually read the following:
OP - I notice that your replies following your original post have mellowed in the description of your conduct compared to the quote above. Not sure if it's deliberate but it smacks of someone amending the "truth" to get the desired responses. Apologies if it's unintentional.
Anyway, as ever, all IMHO but nothing has changed in my original assertion that had I caught you doing it to my child you'd have been the one on the receiving end of venom and aggression. Convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles would be the least of your worries. Sorry, but when it comes to my children, the anger is strong in this one.
That all said, it wasn't my child so please don't get too worked up by a stranger on the internet having a different opinion to yourselves.
Tannedbaldhead said:
I was venomous and aggressive.
The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles.
That is the behaviour of an adult losing control and bullying a child. You can be firm and authoritative without being venomous or aggressive. You can reduce a child to tears simply by telling them off assertively but to have them sobbing convulsively is too much. Any parent will know the difference between a child's woe-is-me wailing and a genuine, terrified sob. I wasn't there and can only go on the OP's account but it reads like the latter to me.The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles.
OP - I notice that your replies following your original post have mellowed in the description of your conduct compared to the quote above. Not sure if it's deliberate but it smacks of someone amending the "truth" to get the desired responses. Apologies if it's unintentional.
Anyway, as ever, all IMHO but nothing has changed in my original assertion that had I caught you doing it to my child you'd have been the one on the receiving end of venom and aggression. Convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles would be the least of your worries. Sorry, but when it comes to my children, the anger is strong in this one.
That all said, it wasn't my child so please don't get too worked up by a stranger on the internet having a different opinion to yourselves.
Landlord said:
The people replying with "kids cry at anything"... have you actually read the following:
OP - I notice that your replies following your original post have mellowed in the description of your conduct compared to the quote above. Not sure if it's deliberate but it smacks of someone amending the "truth" to get the desired responses. Apologies if it's unintentional.
Anyway, as ever, all IMHO but nothing has changed in my original assertion that had I caught you doing it to my child you'd have been the one on the receiving end of venom and aggression. Convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles would be the least of your worries. Sorry, but when it comes to my children, the anger is strong in this one.
That all said, it wasn't my child so please don't get too worked up by a stranger on the internet having a different opinion to yourselves.
Based on what we've been told happened, what would you have said to the child? Exact wording would be useful, rather than generalisations.Tannedbaldhead said:
I was venomous and aggressive.
The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles.
That is the behaviour of an adult losing control and bullying a child. You can be firm and authoritative without being venomous or aggressive. You can reduce a child to tears simply by telling them off assertively but to have them sobbing convulsively is too much. Any parent will know the difference between a child's woe-is-me wailing and a genuine, terrified sob. I wasn't there and can only go on the OP's account but it reads like the latter to me.The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles.
OP - I notice that your replies following your original post have mellowed in the description of your conduct compared to the quote above. Not sure if it's deliberate but it smacks of someone amending the "truth" to get the desired responses. Apologies if it's unintentional.
Anyway, as ever, all IMHO but nothing has changed in my original assertion that had I caught you doing it to my child you'd have been the one on the receiving end of venom and aggression. Convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles would be the least of your worries. Sorry, but when it comes to my children, the anger is strong in this one.
That all said, it wasn't my child so please don't get too worked up by a stranger on the internet having a different opinion to yourselves.
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