What are your biggest early 20s regrets?

[DanielJames]

Trying to sleep tonight and my brain is playing the "did I do everything right" game

Cliffs:
22 year old
Windows Engineer (30k pa)
2 cars I like
GF for 3 years
Still live at home

What I'm asking myself is why I haven't sold the cars, ditched the GF before
It gets too serious and get a flat/apartment near work (Sheffield)

Or should I move to London?

Or California?

Hmm

[B17NNS]

DanielJames said:

Trying to sleep tonight and my brain is playing the "did I do everything right" game

Cliffs:
22 year old
Windows Engineer (30k pa)
2 cars I like
GF for 3 years
Still live at home

What I'm asking myself is why I haven't sold the cars, ditched the GF before
It gets too serious and get a flat/apartment near work (Sheffield)

Or should I move to London?

Or California?

Hmm

Does your girlfriend know you post here?

[conanius]

I'm reading that and life looks good for you from where I stand. Confused.

[rich83]

Decent salary and still living at home?? Yeah you did that bit wrong.

[Tribal Chestnut]

You're obviously depressed. Get some counselling.

[DanielJames]

B17NNS said:

Does your girlfriend know you post here?

Nope.

[DanielJames]

conanius said:

I'm reading that and life looks good for you from where I stand. Confused.

Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

Counselling? Thats why I'm posting isn't it.

[BlackST]

Why would you want to leave the GF?
You either want to be with her or you don't.

I'm 25 now and a house and wedding is on the horizon.
What I wish I had done -

Saved up earlier.
Visited America.

Happy with everything else I have done.

[anonymous-user]

Looks pretty good so far. If I was you I would be trying my hardest to save a deposit and buy a property (in your name only, not with the girlfriend). If you are happy living at home then you could always just rent it out.

If I could go back in time to when I was 22 I would do the following :

Not get finance for cars or any credit cards.
Save as much as I could and buy a property as soon as possible.
Go travelling.
Not get married and not have kids.

[DanielJames]

Joey Deacon said:

Looks pretty good so far. If I was you I would be trying my hardest to save a deposit and buy a property (in your name only, not with the girlfriend). If you are happy living at home then you could always just rent it out.

If I could go back in time to when I was 22 I would do the following :

Not get finance for cars or any credit cards.
Save as much as I could and buy a property as soon as possible.
Go travelling.
Not get married and not have kids.

Points 2 and 3 are quite conflicting lol.

Still can't get no rest 😓

[BrownBottle]

Regrets, I've had a few.

But then again, too few to mention.

[DanielJames]

BrownBottle said:

Regrets, I've had a few.

But then again, too few to mention.

At least you'll always have grammar.

[Magog]

Joey Deacon said:

... not have kids.

A bit harsh surely?

[BrownBottle]

DanielJames said:

BrownBottle said:

Regrets, I've had a few.

But then again, too few to mention.

At least you'll always have grammar.

I did it my way.

[AndrewCrown]

Daniel

I think we all need a bit more information to give you a steer... but based on the following:

22 year old: Now is the time to be really enjoying life, trust me you will never look this good or have this much energy again. The world is your oyster...

Windows Engineer (30k pa: I assume this is software and not window cleaning...Are you any good at it? Do you enjoy it? Great salary at 22. This is fine, keep this up and work your sorry ass off.

2 cars I like: Yes ditch one car... or both and get one cool one and use the spare money to start saving for a house ASAP

GF for 3 years: Ok this is very subjective... At 22 you really do need to be experiencing as many diffrent types of women as you can. Then you can figure out what you really like and the type of girl you can settle down with in 5-8 years time...

Still live at home: Get out and rent somewhere... be your own man, time to flee the nest right now.. absolutely right now.

Or should I move to London? Er no not until you are on serious wedge or have a job offer to match... but consider the South East...

Or California? Why the hell not... do something bold and something good always comes of it...

Is my view...

A.

[Baryonyx]

DanielJames said:

Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

Counselling? Thats why I'm posting isn't it.

Sounds like you need to grip, in fairness. There are plenty worse off than you out there getting on with it, so get on and get on with it.

Maybe now would be the ideal time to stop riding mum and dad's coattails and get your own place. Book an appointment with a mortgage advisor tomorrow and have a look at a few properties. The sooner you get your foot on that ladder and start living in the man's world, the better. You're earning a reasonable amount, but it's easily frittered away, so make sure you're making it work for you.

[eniacs]

I understand completely where you are coming from in this. I too was in your situation at 22. Living at home, happy enough relationship been going on for several years, cars, spare money enough to get by and have some enjoyment. But something was certainly missing.

As I came to the end of my time in university, a friend offered to help me get into cruise ships. I think subconsciously knowing this was a path towards fun i headed straight for it. Without a thought of the damage this would cause to my current life. I got there, although the rest of my life predictably disintegrated behind me, but i struggled onwards. The next few years of life at sea were amazing fun, experiencing life beyond most of what people here will be imagining.


If I was in your situation, with my knowledge, I would be moving out (as others have said) immediately. Then try to get what it is you are itching for, maybe start some more extreme hobbies. Perhaps spend your money not on cars, but on travelling for yourself and partner. Go out more with friends and not spend friday and saturday nights in with the misses.
Hard to tell you what to do in this situation, everyone is different.

Im now settled at 32 and with a growing family. There is no chance at all for me to have the lifestyle I had in my 20's. Im too busy caring for the family and things that are now important. The thought of spending thursday friday and saturday in a pub/nightclub is now awful. But that is probably because I have "got that out of my system".

[Hoofy]

DanielJames said:

22 year old
Windows Engineer (30k pa)
2 cars I like
GF for 3 years
Still live at home

Sounds like you're doing better than many 22 year olds.

I'd be renting a flat in the city, enjoying life.

Also, planning my path to IT director by 30.

PS Is "Windows Engineer" someone who fits double glazing or fixes Microsoft products?

Oh, my regrets? Now that I look back at my varied and interesting life, none. But when I was your age I did regret not changing degree so I got a better one to get into a graduate scheme. Now that I'm almost twice your age, I'm glad I didn't because I know I wouldn't have enjoyed the path I was planning on following. Sure, I'd probably be leading a "normal life".

Edited by Hoofy on Tuesday 25th November 07:30

[DanielJames]

Baryonyx said:

Sounds like you need to grip, in fairness. There are plenty worse off than you out there getting on with it, so get on and get on with it.

Maybe now would be the ideal time to stop riding mum and dad's coattails and get your own place. Book an appointment with a mortgage advisor tomorrow and have a look at a few properties. The sooner you get your foot on that ladder and start living in the man's world, the better. You're earning a reasonable amount, but it's easily frittered away, so make sure you're making it work for you.

That's a bit bitey and presumptuous!

By the way I was in the London National History Museum the other day and had a weird Pistonheads moment when I discovered what a Baryonyx was and thought hey, that's not a Baryonyx, he's a guy on Pistonheads.

The main reason I haven't moved out is quite simple, I don't think I want to live in the area I grew up, but I don't know where else I'd like to go - yet. I was thinking a year or two experience in my previous role and I'd have been able to go contracting and play the contract location game, simply following IT contracts around the country/world. Unfortunately I lost my previous job which was quite high up in IT Service Management and didn't have the experience to get back into a similar job.

Anyway long story short I still want to do the above, but as I've had to retrain slightly I don't have the experience to get into the contracts just yet.

I only got 3 hours sleep last night, pretty knackered! Thanks for the replies thus far.

[STW2010]

DanielJames said:

Windows Engineer

Another 'engineer' then?